Enduring Time sequel to Unending Time
by Su Freund
Summary: Everything of importance had changed, and life for the former members of SG-1 would never be the same again." Many years after the events on the Odyssey, SG-1 reunite - but their common purpose is bleak and sorrowful. S&J and S&T ship. Note warnings!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Enduring Time

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: "Everything of importance had changed, and life for the former members of SG-1 would never be the same again." Many years after the events on the Odyssey ('Unending'), SG-1 reunite - but their common purpose is bleak and sorrowful.

Sequel/Series Info: Sequel to "Unending Time", which can be found on this site

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes:

1. Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story and her helpful comments and suggestions. Any mistakes are entirely my own.

2. Thanks to Denise for provoking one particular plot bunny that sparked my imagination and becomes a fundamental feature of this story later on. I am also very grateful to the many other readers who sent feedback and support for "Unending Time", both J&S shippers and non-shippers alike. Your encouragement was heartening and some of your thoughts inspired me to write this sequel. This story is dedicated to you, the patient ones who were prepared to be open minded about the possibilities inherent in the "Unending" series finale - and to actually read the story.

3. I am also thankful for Amanda Tapping's comments about her relationship with Teal'c in "Unending" on the DVD episode commentary. AT confirms that she and Chris Judge deliberately played out that relationship to show they were much more than just friends while stranded on the Odyssey. This was superbly subtle acting, and demonstrates how skilled they are at their craft. I was pleased to learn that I correctly interpreted the Sam/Teal'c ship intentions of the episode. I must admit to feeling a frisson of pleasure, and vindication, after comments and accusations around my decision to write S&T ship made by some elements of J&S ship fandom. I guess it shouldn't be my problem if some people watch episodes with their eyes wide shut. This has always been so and no doubt always will be. My story "Unending Time" gave those fans way more J&S ship than they ever got from TPTB, but they chose not to be open to it. Go figure!

**Enduring Time: Chapter One**

The warm breeze whipped around the Jaffa as he headed toward the gate, his gold tattoo glistening on his head from the sweat that refused to be cooled or dried by the whispering wind. A high, bright yellow sun glinted in his dark eyes, and he squinted against its invasive glare, cursing inwardly at the loss of his Tauri sunglasses and thinking he should make an effort to replace them.

The long cloak fluttered in the breeze and was too warm for the current weather on this planet, but he knew it was likely to be needed on Earth. Winter would have set in on the planet that had once been his home, and Teal'c wondered if his Tauri friends would ever truly see summer again.

Shrugging such morbid thoughts aside as the gate came into view, he regarded the large circle with a head full of memories. He had not stepped through the chaapa'ai for many years, and it felt strange to be treading this path once again, and for such a purpose. The notion of the reason for this trip disturbed him deeply.

Taking a breath to steady himself, he depressed the required symbols and the gate sprang into life, the large wave of what many had once feared was water gushing forward and then settling back calmly into a shimmering still pool. Sending a signal of his intent through the wormhole, he took a few steps, pausing to run a finger over the event horizon with a faint smile then, walking into it, he was gone, the tranquil event horizon blinking off behind him moments later.

Daniel Jackson stood at the foot of the ramp in greeting, a smile on his face. The young man looked old. He had aged considerably since the last time they had met. Lines etched his face and his hair was thinning and grayed. The smile, however, was the same - warm, welcoming and filled with the many years of friendship they had shared.

"Teal'c," he said enthusiastically.

"Daniel Jackson, my old friend." The Jaffa returned the smile, bowing, and the two men grasped each other in a hug. It had been a long time. Too long. Teal'c had missed the man, and this place.

Glancing around, he noticed the few SFs, who had been tense as he walked through the event horizon. They relaxed their defensive stance, standing at ease, but with weapons ready should they be required. Teal'c was unarmed, except for a knife tucked into a sheath on his belt. This could be construed as a weapon but was no longer intended for that purpose. No one asked him to surrender it.

Surprised that only Daniel Jackson was there to greet him, Teal'c noted that the gate room looked the same as it always had, with starkly unattractive muddy walls and unpleasant bright artificial light. He far preferred the natural light of his current home, the green of forests, the open farmlands. This synthetic place had been his home for many years through design and expedience. He missed the fact of it, but not the reality.

Peering up to the control room, he could see a couple of people watching but no one he knew. Teal'c supposed he shouldn't expect to. The people he had once known at the SGC were retired or dead - old and gradually decaying like he and Daniel Jackson.

Briefly, Teal'c wondered why no one had thought to move the Stargate to a new location once the program had become public knowledge on Earth, but understood that suspicion and distrust still ruled the hearts of men. When was that ever likely to change? There would be time enough for questions, to catch-up with events on Earth, and perhaps the wider universe, but right now was probably not that time.

"It's good to see you Teal'c. Thanks for coming," Daniel said as they pulled apart and eyed each other affectionately.

"I wish the occasion of my visit was under better circumstances," Teal'c replied, his tone one of sadness and loss.

"Yeah, me too. It's been a while."

"Indeed."

"Sorry, Teal'c, I'm afraid some people want to meet you before we set off."

Teal'c sighed. He might have known. The fact that no one else was there to greet him at the gate did not mean he could simply walk into this place and go about his business without impediment. No doubt, he was required to observe some formalities. Wryly, he wondered if a passport or visa was a requirement these days, amused by the notion.

"Do I have no say in this matter?" he queried, dryly.

"Some things never change."

"As I thought," he said, mulling that over a while and then capturing Daniel's eyes with a look of concern. "How is General Carter?" he asked, trying to still his nerves at the idea of meeting up with her again after so many years of absence.

"Okay, considering, I guess. She'd like to have been here to meet you personally, but in the circumstances…"

"I understand. Then we should begin."

Daniel nodded, grasping Teal'c's arm and leading him out of the gate room. What had once been the busy, bustling SGC seemed still and eerily empty; no one but Daniel Jackson to greet him, no warm welcome home from generals. Clearly, some things had changed, and this gave Teal'c pause to wonder, but he had no time for such thoughts now.

He had been steeling his resolve for this visit and still felt unprepared for what he knew was to come. Everything of importance had changed, and life for the former members of SG-1 would never be the same again.

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Later, a bright light set them down in the opening in Minnesota in which O'Neill's cabin lay and he felt thankful for the Asgard technology that made the trip such a quick and easy one. SG-1 had suffered greatly for many years to protect that technology, although Teal'c was the only one who remembered this unending time. He had much to remember and, for him, the many happy memories outweighed the sorrowful ones.

That had been long ago. Teal'c was an old man now even by Jaffa standards. He was no longer the virile warrior and man of those long gone times.

Daniel, however, had been thinking how young his friend continued to look, in comparative terms. While greyer, with some small wrinkles that indicated the inevitable ageing, the Jaffa still seemed physically robust, with a spring to his step that the younger man envied. He pondered this without comment while Teal'c surveyed their familiar surroundings.

This place, too, was full of memories for Teal'c and, although he had not particularly enjoyed the fishing beloved by his old friend, he now recalled the occasions he had been there before with great fondness. Well he remembered the dock from which he and O'Neill had cast fishing lines into the still waters close to the cabin. Also, the time all of SG-1 had come there together and Samantha and O'Neill had sat on that dock as happy friends and colleagues.

That was before the pair had married, before O'Neill had summoned the courage to ask Samantha to spend the rest of her life with him. They had spent many happy years together since then. At least Teal'c hoped they had been happy. He suspected they had and the thought pleased him. It also troubled him because of the many years Samantha had shared her life with him, honoring him with her love.

Looking back, those years of happiness on the Odyssey seemed like a blink of an eye in his long life. They were, however, well worthy of remembrance, and he still thought of them frequently and wistfully. Teal'c continued to miss them, and Samantha, even now.

Daniel noticed Teal'c's distraction as the Jaffa regarded his surroundings, and knew this place must hold good memories, just as it did for him. Although he did not wish to disturb his old friend's thoughts, time was pressing and they needed to move on.

"I understand why O'Neill always held this place dear," Teal'c commented, thinking how peaceful it was and how much it reminded him of his current home. Daniel nodded agreement.

"Me too. We'll come back here later, Teal'c," he said. "We need to go." Teal'c did not respond but allowed Daniel to lead him down the lane toward a car. When his friend indicated he should get in, Teal'c looked at him curiously.

"Why do we not use the Asgard transportation device to reach our destination directly?" he asked.

"It's not widely available yet, Teal'c. You know how things can be. It's too public where we're going. We're privileged we could use it to get this far."

Teal'c nodded and smiled. "Should we feel honored?"

Daniel chuckled. "Probably."

Teal'c looked thoughtful as he got into the passenger side of the car, grateful for the warmth from the bitterly cold air outside. He had been right to wear his cloak. The sky was sullen, grey and wintry, as he had suspected it might be. Briefly, he wondered whether snow might follow later as the clouds appeared heavily laden and it was surely cold enough. The weather, however, also seemed to presage the momentous events of the day - chilly, forbidding and sorrowful. How fitting, he thought.

When he eventually spoke, Teal'c's words were not about their journey. "Am I appropriately dressed for the occasion, Daniel Jackson?" he asked with a tinge of concern. It was obvious the Jaffa did not wish to be indiscreet or disrespectful.

"You're fine, Teal'c. You look like a Jaffa. How else should you look?" he replied with a smile.

"I am unused to such an open display of my heritage here on Earth."

"Oh, but you are famous here now. A hero."

Teal'c nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should therefore find a better disguise."

"If you want to hide your…um… Jaffaness, I'm sure we could find something, but don't worry, you won't be mobbed," Daniel replied, amused by his friend's reticence.

"Then I should be gratified for small clemencies," Teal'c commented and Daniel looked at him askance, wondering if he intended the words as humorous. Sometimes, it could be hard to tell with Teal'c and he did not correct his misquote of the Earth phrase "grateful for small mercies", turning his concentration to driving the car. It was probably time Daniel stopped driving. He was getting too old, and his reactions were less acute. However, he was reluctant to give up such freedom of movement.

Despite Daniel's assurance, when they reached their destination Teal'c pulled the hood of his cloak over his head, hiding his tattoo and face as much as possible. It felt wrong to display his uniqueness so openly on Earth and this made him ill at ease. He was already feeling discomfited enough by the notion of what he was about to face without adding to that awkwardness.

The final part of their journey took place on foot and Teal'c keenly observed their surroundings as they walked. He was unused to such a place. Jaffa did things differently. Although this was not the first such event he'd had occasion to attend, it felt as strange now as it ever had. Earth was filled with these places, he thought. It seemed wasteful of land and resource. The Jaffa way was better.

Then he saw her. Samantha! His reaction still surprised him, even though he had expected his heart to stutter, but his expression showed none of his inner turmoil. Now he was here, Teal'c had no idea how to greet her. What was the right thing to do in such circumstances?

As they approached, he watched her carefully, looking for a hint of how he should behave. Perhaps he should have asked Daniel Jackson, but he had not done so and was floundering.

Samantha had not seen them yet. She stood outside of the small chapel deep in conversation with a person who seemed unfamiliar to him. She looked much older, naturally. They all were. But in his eyes, she was still as beautiful as ever, and as alluring. Teal'c questioned his sanity at coming, but knew why he was here. He had to be here. It was the right thing to do, and he had wanted be here, for her and for O'Neill – two of his closest and dearest friends, even though they had not seen each other for a very long time.

It had been too long and Teal'c regretted that. However, the pain he had felt so keenly on each occasion the three had met since the events of the Odyssey might have diminished, but it had never left. He was still haunted by those years, and to see them together and happy had been hard. This was one reason the Jaffa had not been to Earth for so long, now he no longer fought for the cause of freedom alongside the Tauri.

His heart ached at seeing her again now, when there were other reasons it should also pain him. Longing shot through Teal'c and unsettled his already uneasy nerves. The feelings were inappropriate and he tried to suppress them, but found he could not, so his disquiet deepened.

Her hair was longer than she used to wear it, and grey, as he remembered when she'd aged on the Odyssey. When they drew closer, Teal'c noticed that, like Daniel Jackson, lines of aging engraved her face, but this did not stop him from considering her magnificence.

Samantha Carter had an inner beauty that shone through her, even while her eyes were dull and lifeless; as he noticed when they got close enough. That saddened him deeply but did not surprise him. She had lost her great love forever, and she grieved.

"Teal'c!" she exclaimed with a smile when her eyes strayed in their direction. The smile lit those dulled eyes, and this heartened the old Jaffa. She was pleased to see him. "Excuse me," she apologized to the unfamiliar friend, closing the gap between them and opening her arms in welcome. "I'm so pleased you came."

"How could I not?" he replied, returning her embrace in kind, and they swayed in each other's arms for a while before she drew back, acknowledging Daniel's presence.

"Thanks for bringing him, Daniel," she said and he smiled and squeezed her arm gently. He turned away to leave the two friends, who had been absent from each other's lives for so long, alone for a while.

"It's so good to see you, Teal'c."

"And you, General Carter," he said agreeably, although his thoughts were confused. "I am sorry for your loss." She didn't respond, visibly upset by the reminder of her husband's death. "O'Neill is a great loss to us all," he added. "He will be sorely missed."

"His death was a peaceful and painless one, Teal'c. I console myself with that."

"I doubt you find consolation so easy."

Pulling herself together and smiling weakly, she nodded. "You being here will help a little."

"I am honored you believe so, as I am honored to attend."

"It's you who honors Jack by coming."

"He was one of the best men that I have ever known, and one of the best friends that I have ever had."

Sam was silent and he heard her catch her breath, a small sob in her throat, but she remained outwardly calm and collected. No doubt, she had learned much from O'Neill, he thought. They all had. Briefly burying her head in his chest, she gave him a squeeze.

"It's time, Teal'c. We'll catch-up later?" she queried and he inclined his head in agreement. "Will you accompany me and stand by my side with Daniel?"

He bowed concurrence, pleased by the honor she bestowed. Samantha linked her arm with his, turning to enter the chapel and the service that would lay her husband to rest, and picking up Daniel on her other arm along the way.

Looking around further, Teal'c realized this appeared to be a small, select ceremony, unfitting for the public hero O'Neill had become. He had expected full military honors, and many more people. It seemed that, just as he had in life, in death O'Neill rejected the honor and tribute he deserved.

Samantha would be fulfilling O'Neill's own wishes with such a discreet ceremony. No doubt, she had fought the authorities for that right. Further consideration made him believe this was fitting after all, for the man rather than the hero. It was so like his friend.

With those thoughts, the threesome entered the chapel to bid their final farewells to the man all of them had loved in one way or another during their lifetimes.

TBC

Author's end note: If you think his death means Jack and J&S ship won't be making much of an appearance in this story, then I should disillusion you now, before you stop reading, lol! This story is very much about Jack and J&S. He is writ large in the thoughts of the remaining protagonists, and appears in many flashbacks throughout. Jack is the center of my Stargate universe, so no story is complete without him as far as I am concerned. I'm just sayin'…


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: Teal'c began to suspect that Samantha and Daniel Jackson had moved away not so much to talk to each other but to allow O'Neill to talk to him…

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes:

1. Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story for me, and the useful comments she made that improved it. Any remaining errors are entirely mine.

2. Thanks also to all of you who sent such terrific feedback for Chapter 1. I wasn't sure how people might react to me killing off Jack, but I don't appear to have killed off readers in the process too, lol! I hope you all enjoy this continuation.

**Enduring Time: Chapter Two**

_Previously: _

With those thoughts, the threesome entered the chapel to bid their final farewells to the man all of them had loved in one way or another during their lifetimes.

_The story continues: _

Teal'c kept a watchful eye on Samantha during the service, alert to her heartfelt sorrow and ready to assist if required. She kept herself together. He suspected she would shed her tears in the peace and privacy of the home she had shared with the man she had loved so well.

As they carried the coffin toward O'Neill's grave, many memories assaulted his thoughts, as was natural at such a time. They had fought together, supported each other and been friends for many years. So, there was much to recall, both good and bad. However, what came most vividly to mind was the short time he had spent with O'Neill when SG-1 had returned from that fateful encounter with the Asgard, and then the Ori, on board the Odyssey.

As promised, O'Neill invited Daniel and Teal'c to their home, dearly wishing to see his friends during his all too brief visit to Colorado Springs. Teal'c could not refuse, although he suffered great heartbreak at both the idea and the reality.

What pained Teal'c most were those small moments of intimacy he observed between the couple. Although he had resigned himself to being content that his friends were happy, those moments were hard to observe, causing his gut to clench tightly, and nausea to rise unbidden. It was the exchanged looks of deep love and affection, the briefly held smiles, or the momentary caress of a hand or a squeeze of an arm that were so disconcerting.

His friends probably weren't even conscious of exchanging these small demonstrations of their mutual love and ease so frequently. This was simply the way they were.

Although unsettled, Teal'c had to admit he enjoyed their company, especially O'Neill's because they saw each other less frequently now that he worked in Washington DC. O'Neill was a true friend, someone he respected and admired, and the man had changed his life completely. Teal'c missed him, and fighting for freedom by his side.

That day was warm and sunny, so perfect for a barbeque and relaxing in the O'Neill yard: a well kept haven of tranquility with trimly manicured lawn and well-placed bushes and trees that afforded as much privacy as possible in that neighborhood.

Teal'c thought the lush greens and the house were deliberately reminiscent of O'Neill's surroundings at the cabin in Minnesota, the place where his friend's heart and soul truly belonged and was most at peace. He found this observation thought provoking and telling.

The hot embers of the barbeque were starting to cool, although the scent of charcoal and cooked flesh still permeated the air, a smell that reminded Teal'c of meals spent with his family on Chulak many moons before. This was a different family, an adopted one admittedly, but one who made him feel welcome and wanted, and had warmed his heart for a number of years.

Relaxing in the comfort of his chair and contemplating his friends, Teal'c felt gratified that O'Neill had restricted this occasion to just the four of them. To extend the invitation to the newer members of SG-1, or others, seemed wrong for such a reunion.

The friends bantered, reminisced and caught-up with each other's lives and did not appear to notice Teal'c's comparative silence. Why would they? He always said little, and tended to enjoy observing and noting more than joining in.

The other three could not be aware of his turbulent thoughts. Although his gaze often wandered to Samantha and O'Neill, particularly Samantha, he thought it unlikely they would notice that either. Teal'c was even more proficient at hiding behind a mask than O'Neill, which said much about the Jaffa.

Dusk was settling to dark and the yard suddenly brightened with artificial lights prompted by the coming darkness. It stayed warm enough to remain seated outside. Samantha and Daniel had moved off and talked in friendship on the other side of the yard, leaving Teal'c and O'Neill sitting in companionable silence. To the two men this was both a comfortable and comforting moment.

Suddenly, O'Neill interrupted their peaceful quiet. "You want something else to drink, Teal'c?" he asked. The O'Neill's had ensured a wide variety of non-alcoholic beverages were available for the Jaffa friend who did not indulge in more intoxicating refreshment.

"I do not."

More silence followed, which O'Neill broke again, and Teal'c began to suspect that Samantha and Daniel Jackson had moved away not so much to talk to each other but to allow O'Neill to talk to him.

"This is nice, isn't it?" O'Neill said with a satisfied sigh.

"Indeed."

"You've been quiet today." His tone was hushed, as if he wished to keep their exchange from other prying ears.

"No more than usual."

"Bullshit."

Teal'c turned his head to eye O'Neill, surprised at his observation, although perhaps he should not have been. His friend was a much keener observer of behavior than many might give him credit for. This trait made him a good leader of men.

"It gives me pleasure to observe the three of you."

"Nothing to do with recent disturbing events then?" O'Neill probed, somewhat annoyingly accurately, Teal'c thought. His friend's tone was tinged with slight sarcasm and something that told Teal'c he would not be easy to fool.

O'Neill knew something, although exactly what he knew Teal'c was uncertain of. If he was anticipating some kind of confession or indiscretion, he would be sorely disappointed. Teal'c realized his acutely observant friend was unlikely to expect either. He knew Teal'c well because he saw himself mirrored in that often inscrutable demeanor.

Knowing that, however, did not calm Teal'c's unease at O'Neill's probing curiosity. Perhaps he was wrong and he felt the need to make his position clear.

"I hope you do not intend to be difficult O'Neill," Teal'c said emotionlessly and calmly.

"Difficult? Me? As if…" Jack responded with an innocent grin and Teal'c gave him a look that seemed to imply it would make a change if he wasn't difficult. "If by difficult you mean am I going to ask you awkward questions about what happened on the Odyssey then, no, I'm not going to be difficult."

Jack noticed a look of relief briefly cross Teal'c's features before they settled into their usual impenetrability. The two men sat in silence again for a while, simply enjoying each other's companionship until Jack spoke once more.

"Teal'c," he said, and the big Jaffa glanced at him, waiting for him to continue and fearful of what he might say because guilt pressed heavily on his conscience. "I figure you would have looked after Sam. I couldn't ask for anyone better to do that," he added eventually.

"O'Neill…"

"I'm not asking you anything. I'm just sayin'…"

Teal'c nodded, wondering what was going through his friend's thoughts.

"I'm glad you were there for her, Teal'c. Whatever."

"Whatever?" Teal'c ventured.

"Whatever might have happened during all those years. It's a long time to be alone and lonely, that's all I'm sayin'."

"Indeed."

"I would have gone nuts."

Teal'c could imagine this to be true. O'Neill could lack patience at the best of times. Long periods of inactivity tended to make him a touch tetchy. This was something shared by Colonel Mitchell, who had probably suffered most of all during those years they had been stranded, because he had remained a fundamentally solitary and lonely man.

If O'Neill had been there, Samantha would have kept him sane, and he would have done likewise for her. For Samantha's sake, Teal'c wished O'Neill had been there, but not for his own. Although he might feel guilt, he felt no regret. They had had a good life in the circumstances and he knew he would have suffered more without Samantha as such an integral part of that life. How could he regret that, or the pleasant memories it provoked, even while he hurt so badly?

"It was not an easy time," he replied simply.

"No. I'll bet. I'm sure you have a lot to think about, to remember. Too much, maybe. I don't envy you that."

The conversation paused again, as if O'Neill waited for a response, although Teal'c would have been surprised if he really expected to get one.

"I would have wanted Sam to be happy," O'Neill said eventually. "I wouldn't have wanted her to suffer, be lonely, in despair."

Teal'c wondered if his friend had truly guessed at what might have been. Speculation perhaps, but O'Neill could frequently be a perceptive and wise man. The Jaffa had seen something of this in him from the very beginning, no matter that the man would hide behind humor or sarcasm. None of that fooled Teal'c. His friend was deep and complicated, not as simple as he might try to appear.

This was part of O'Neill's charm, and something Teal'c knew had drawn Samantha to him and made her love him even more - both the mask and what lay beneath. It had also been part of what had drawn her to Teal'c on board the Odyssey. She saw similarities between the two men, albeit that in many ways they were also very different.

It seemed to Teal'c that O'Neill had guessed, or suspected. His friend appeared to be trying to forgive him for what might have been. Teal'c understood O'Neill's urge to see Samantha happy, and his regret that she might not have been and could have suffered deep and abiding pain.

Many times while serving together, O'Neill had shown his willingness to sacrifice himself for his country, his friends, the people he loved, and especially for Samantha. Teal'c was well aware of this, knowing it was fundamental to the Jack O'Neill psyche. He had sacrificed his deeply felt feelings to allow her to find happiness with her former fiance, Peter Shanahan, and he would do so again if it was necessary.

So it seemed that, no matter how much it might hurt him to see Samantha with another man, to know she could seek solace and joy elsewhere, he would prefer that to the alternative. This was part of O'Neill the man's essential nobleness. He had a graciousness of spirit that was an admirable trait and one Teal'c treasured greatly.

Teal'c wondered how to respond, pondering it over and over before replying. And O'Neil waited patiently, hopeful he would provoke some kind of response, and reassurance about his wife's long life on the Odyssey.

Eventually, the Jaffa spoke, choosing his words carefully. "I can not tell you much, O'Neill. She missed you greatly, was heartbroken without you. Her love for you never died, but I believe she also found some happiness and consolation to lessen her devastation and loss."

Jack studied his friend's face with care, thinking he schooled his features well.

"Good, I'm glad." Jack was not sure if he understood correctly or not, but that did not matter. He got the answer he sought and did not need to know much else. Sam was back, safe and well, and she was here with him, happily married. That was all he needed to know now.

Teal'c wondered if it was really that simple, wishing he knew what thoughts lay inside O'Neill's head. However, he realized there was genuine relief and comfort in those brief words, even if they might provoke more confusion in his friend's mind.

"I trust her completely, you know that don't you?" O'Neill commented, giving away some of his thoughts. Teal'c knew his friend's words were chosen with care. O'Neill was nothing if not deliberate in this coded conversation.

"As you should," Teal'c replied guardedly, wanting O'Neill to know he was not a threat to his marriage to the woman he loved so dearly.

Jack nodded, and smiled softly. "You too," he added. "I could always trust you, Teal'c."

"I am gratified."

"I hope you'll be okay, be happy." His tone held a hint of sympathy at the potential of Teal'c's dilemma.

"I will endure."

"You betchya. We all will. Always do," O'Neill responded, broadening his grin. Abruptly, he spoke in a louder tone that the others could hear. "All right, campers, who wants a top-up?" He pointed to the cooler filled with beer.

O'Neill, the genial host, was back and Teal'c knew the conversation was over. His friend seemed satisfied and, to his pleasure, Teal'c realised he was too. His sins had been forgiven, whether they had been committed or not. The notion made Teal'c a much happier man, and reduced his burden of guilt considerably. He would always have to live with some remorse, and the memories, but he could live much more peacefully now.

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Daniel Jackson clung grimly to Sam throughout the chapel service, glancing at her frequently to see how she was bearing up, and then sometimes turning to glimpse his wife. He continued to cling to her now, as they stood at O'Neill's graveside. The Jacksons agreed Sam needed him more than she did, that he should support her as much as possible, and Daniel was grateful for his wife's understanding. She realized Daniel and Sam had a special friendship and her husband should put Sam first at this difficult time.

Who would have thought it? Many years ago, Daniel certainly would not have. Vala Mal Doran, now Mrs. Jackson, had bewildered and tormented him for years. Daniel tried hard to resist the attraction he had for her, to deny it altogether. She was a hard woman to trust, particularly to trust with his heart, despite repeatedly proving her loyalty.

Given her background, her flightiness, what he knew of her personality or her public face at least, it was hardly a surprise that he found it thus. What was surprising, however, was the day he finally realized how he was beginning to feel and, much later, the day he reconciled himself to those feelings.

Daniel never imagined for one minute that Vala had any depth of feeling for him. It took a while to realize she had any depth at all to speak of. It was once he started noticing those little things that gave her away that his feelings began to surface.

She was so totally different to his previous love, Sha're. Vala could not have been more different. Daniel had loved Sha're so completely and, although he had sought love again, never thought he would truly find it. It did not seem possible that anyone could meet all of the expectations his wife had given him. He had been so totally wrong.

With Vala, his feelings were as different as the two women, but that did not make them any less valid. Once he allowed himself to fall, Daniel fell completely, and Vala rewarded him handsomely for letting go at last and accepting her into his life and heart.

On the surface, she might appear very much the same woman he resisted for so long. Underneath, and especially when they were alone, she was another person. Vala was definitely different than Sha're, but in their special, intimate moments, she was very similar. She loved him with all her heart, and lavished him with that love in ways he could not even begin to describe. What mattered was that she loved him and made him happy with her loyalty and devotion.

Their coupling surprised many, but that astonishment diminished over the years as their mutual depth of feeling became more obvious. Their relationship was something fundamental and good, and people came to accept it as they saw how happy Daniel was, and how committed Vala was to him.

Teal'c was not surprised, of course, and took the relationship in his stride. He remembered well how that relationship had developed on the Odyssey and was pleased for the couple. They discovered in real time what they had lost in the other. Teal'c had never been that fortunate and he envied them a little.

Samantha, however, had never truly been his. She always belonged with O'Neill. He was privileged to spend a lifetime with her, even though she remembered none of it. Daniel Jackson and Vala, on the other hand, lived that lifetime again, but in much better circumstances - in real life, not a life that might have been a dream.

Cameron Mitchell, who had never settled down with one woman, stood by Vala's side as he promised to Daniel, who he knew so badly needed to support Sam in any way he could. He and Vala had never got as close to O'Neill as the others. That simply was not possible, but they both mourned his loss deeply, nonetheless, and Vala needed support too. Mitchell was happy to provide it in the absence of her husband at Sam's side.

Vala had a kernel of resentment inside that she was not with her husband to support him in his hour of need. However, they had the rest of their lives, and she understood why he had to be there for Sam in this way. Not only there for her, but for his friend too because this was what Jack would have wanted.

She supposed it was fitting that the original members of SG-1 mourned the loss of their ex-team leader side by side, and that the two later additions to the team were not up at the front with those chief mourners. Likewise for the many other surviving members of O'Neill's old command at the SGC who attended, although they no doubt felt the loss as keenly as Vala and Cam.

If Cassie had been there, the woman who was like a daughter to the O'Neills would probably have been at the front alongside Sam, Daniel and Teal'c too, but she was not. Cassie would deeply mourn O'Neill's loss herself, and would be heartbroken when she found out about his death.

Sadly, Vala thought it sad anyway, Cassie was out there somewhere exploring a distant galaxy and could not be contacted. She might not even learn about O'Neill's passing for a few weeks, when the Asgard technology based ship, appropriately called The O'Neill, contacted Earth again.

She knew Sam was disappointed and upset about Cassie, although she well understood and accepted the reasons for her absence. The younger woman would be devastated to have missed this funeral, and shocked that the man she considered a father figure was gone. Sam felt this on Cassie's behalf, so grieved for her too.

Vala realized the death of old friend affected her husband very deeply, and she would be there when he needed her, which he surely would. She was not sure the loss had fully sunk in yet. Daniel was so concerned for the devastated Sam that he pushed aside his grief to comfort her, and that was very like him. She loved Daniel for this trait, and so much more than that.

The day she finally realized he held some feelings for her, albeit that he fought them, was one of the happiest of her life. Vala had joked with him about dating and bedding him many times. She knew he found it hard to take her seriously as a result, but her underlying feelings were real. Vala was defending her own heart as much as he was his. Neither wanted to be broken by the other.

So that day she realized there was something, however small it might be, was the day she started to reveal herself to him one little piece after another, hoping to gain his confidence and love in much the same way. Her strategy worked and, now, Vala considered herself blessed.

She watched with sorrow as the ground swallowed the coffin of Jack O'Neill. To Vala it seemed that there should have been more. Something so brief to mark the death of a great man and the end of an era seemed somehow unfitting. But she knew Sam followed her husband's instructions to the letter. He hadn't wanted a big fuss. No fanfares or accolades. O'Neill had never accepted public acclaim as a hero, and had shied away from it as much as he could while continuing to fulfill his duty when required.

Vala knew better, knew he was a genuine hero, because Daniel had taught her well. She might not have known O'Neill in his glory days, while he was out there fighting some parts of the universe to save the rest of it, but she had come to know the man through her husband and the friendship the two couples had continued over their lifetime.

The bottom line was that it was irrelevant whether he accepted that public acclaim or not, the man was a loss to them all, and particularly to Daniel, Sam and Teal'c, who would grieve in their souls.

Pulling her eyes up from the coffin, she glanced at her husband and found him regarding her with a sorrowful expression. Vala could see the unshed tears lingering under his leaden lids and she turned briefly to Cameron Mitchell, squeezing his arm and kissing him softly on the cheek to excuse herself. He nodded an acknowledgement with a small smile and Vala walked over to her husband.

Taking him in her arms, she pulled him close and his arms enfolded her in a tight embrace. Then they let each other go and she met his eyes to find him struggling to keep himself together. Her eyes wandered to Sam, who was having the same struggle and clung to Teal'c so hard that Vala wondered if she would fall if he let go. Glancing at her husband again, they seemed to reach a silent agreement and she moved over to Sam.

"I'm so sorry, Sam," she said, unable to think of anything better to say. Vala grasped her shoulder and she wanted to hug her too, but Sam's manner seemed to forbid it.

Sam nodded briefly. "I don't want to fall apart here," she said by way of explanation, as if she read Vala's thoughts. "I just need to get through this and make it home. Then I can let it out."

The funeral was small, much smaller than it could have been given that the Air Force and the current administration had wanted to make it a national event. However, the numbers attending were still too large to fit into Jack and Sam's small cabin for any kind of wake. Knowing this was expected, Daniel had arranged the event on Sam's behalf at a local hotel.

"You don't have to play hostess, Sam. Surely no one expects that?" Vala queried understandingly.

"I have to go, at least for a while."

Teal'c, whom Daniel had briefed about the plans, intervened. "Then it is well to get it over with, is it not?"

"Probably. I need a minute. Can I meet you guys by the car?"

The three nodded agreement and started to walk away, following behind the other mourners.

"I am not certain that General Carter should be left alone," Teal'c said as they walked.

"She needs to say goodbye to her husband alone, Teal'c," Daniel replied and Teal'c inclined his head in deference to his friend's knowledge of Tauri custom. Meanwhile, the Jaffa could see that Daniel and Vala also required some time, so he walked more quickly, leaving them behind for a moment or two of their own.

Vala linked arms with her husband and looked at him, searching his expression for a sign of his feelings. "Are you all right, Daniel?" she asked in a whisper.

He smiled wistfully, cupping her hand in his. "I will be. I'll miss him."

"I know you will, my darling. I'm so sorry."

"Well, hey, I've got you, haven't I? That helps."

She paused in her step, and Daniel stopped alongside her, looking at her curiously. Then she wrapped her arms around him again and rested her head on his chest.

"I'm so glad," she said, smoothing his back comfortingly.

He gave her an affectionate squeeze, a thrill of delight running through him. Daniel considered he was a lucky man to have found this wonderful woman. Sure, he had doubts at first, but any such misgivings had faded long ago. He knew such intimacy and support would be something Sam would miss badly, and his heart went out to her more than ever. Kissing his wife's hair, he wondered how he would feel if it was Vala who had just been buried. The thought was disconcerting.

"Vala, look at me," he said and she willingly complied, meeting his eyes. "I know I don't say it much but I do so love you. I should say it more often."

She grinned and the action lit her face. "You don't have to say it, Daniel, because you tell me every day without words."

His face broke out in a reciprocal smile and Vala pondered how much she loved that smile and the man behind it, her heart beating rapidly even after all these years spent as his wife.

"I'll say it anyway," he responded.

"That's fine by me. I love you too."

"Poor Sam. She no longer has this."

"She has us. I know we can't replace or compensate for Jack, but she has the comfort of friends."

"Yeah, she's going to need that."

"Then I'm glad you rented that cabin up the road so we can be here for her for a while."

"I hope she feels the same way," Daniel said, and Vala eyed him narrowly. "I haven't told her yet. She might want to be left in peace."

"Teal'c's right, she shouldn't be alone."

"We all need to be alone sometimes."

"Then we can leave her alone too. We'll be there on her doorstep when she needs us."

"Yeah, I like that thought."

"We should rejoin Teal'c. He must be grieving too. He needs his friends."

"You betchya," he agreed, and the couple withdrew from their embrace and ambled arm in arm toward the car, where the Jaffa waited in solitary contemplation.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Sam says goodbye, and uncovers a long hidden secret…

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Thanks, again, to Denise for one particular plot bunny that sparked my imagination and that I couldn't resist using. I repeat these thanks again here because her suggestion inspired part of this chapter. Also, I am indebted to my beta reader for this story, ImmerRDA, who helped me to iron out some kinks:-) As ever, any remaining errors are entirely down to me. Last but not least, I'm very grateful to all of you folk who are reading this series and who sent me such terrific feedback and words of encouragement.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 3**

_Previously: _

"Poor Sam. She no longer has this." [Daniel

"She has us. I know we can't replace or compensate for Jack, but she has the comfort of friends." [Vala

"Yeah, she's going to need that."

"Then I'm glad you rented that cabin up the road so we can be here for her for a while."

"I hope she feels the same way," Daniel said, and Vala eyed him narrowly. "I haven't told her yet. She might want to be left in peace."

"Teal'c's right, she shouldn't be alone."

"We all need to be alone sometimes."

"Then we can leave her alone too. We'll be there on her doorstep when she needs us."

"Yeah, I like that thought."

"We should rejoin Teal'c. He must be grieving too. He needs his friends."

"You betchya," he agreed, and the couple withdrew from their embrace and ambled arm in arm toward the car, where the Jaffa waited in solitary contemplation.

_The story continues: _

Sam stared at her husband's coffin silently for a long time, her thoughts a jumble of memories and sorrow. She knew she had to comfort herself with the happy times, and there were many to choose from. Eventually, she raised her eyes and looked around to ensure she was alone. The tears she wanted to shed hovered uncertainly and Sam took a deep breath, steeling herself against them. She would weep at home - she would sob her broken heart out.

Reflectively, she thought maybe she had lived with her husband too long and he had taught her too well about reigning in her emotions. On the other hand, she had always been quite good at that even without his influence. This was the military way and Sam was born into it. In reality, however, she knew that once she started crying she would be unable to stop and would never make it through the wake.

"God, Jack, what am I going to do now?" she said aloud, her eyes moving to his grave once again. "I don't know what to do. I miss you so much and that's never going to go away. How do I live with it? You knew how to, didn't you? Tell me how."

Pausing to scrape her fingers through her hair, she took another deep breath to calm herself. Sam felt ire rising to the surface, along with the deep agonizing pain.

"You've gone, you bastard, you've left me. You said you'd never do that! Now, I'm all alone again. It's going to be hard being by myself after all these years. You shouldn't have left me! I used to deal with being on my own, but I'm not sure I can anymore."

Churlishly, Sam stomped a foot and glared at Jack's grave like she might have glowered at her husband during one of their marital arguments.

"Aw, crap!" she cursed, emulating one of Jack's favorite expressions. As she realized the futilely of her ire, it started to dissipate. Instead, sobs welled up inside, but Sam pulled herself back from the brink again with a chuckle on her lips.

"You taught me well, Jack O'Neill. You taught me how to hide, but also how to open up. How ironic is that? I know dying isn't your fault. You would never have left me by choice, would you, my love? We got longer than we might have imagined, but I wanted more. I wanted forever. It's so unfair. Couldn't you have taken me with you?" She sighed mournfully. "You wouldn't have wanted that, would you? You always wanted me to live my life. You never tried to hold me back from anything."

That was so true. Jack would have sacrificed almost anything for her and she knew it. He had given her so much, including the freedom to be herself. By doing that, he had strengthened their love, and her, binding her to him forever. However, if that had not been the achieved effect, he would have contented himself that she lived the life she really wanted, even if it had been without him by her side.

It was almost unimaginable to think of him not being by her side anymore. He had supported her every step of the way, including the career she loved so much. Sam knew he had hated the Atlantis assignment she was offered. That separation had been hard for both of them, but they realized it was the right thing for her to do, so he supported her just as he had with any other career driven decisions. They had not lived their whole lives apart, after all, only some of it. Just a fraction of the time they had been together.

The couple never got around to having that family they both craved, putting other things first as they always had. Sam knew he would have been a great dad and often contemplated what they might have missed. She would like to have witnessed it as Jack had been so wonderful with children, but there were compensations.

She was less certain about her mothering abilities, but she would have liked to have tried. Having Jack's kids was an unfulfilled ambition, but he had supported this too, even while he knew they would both have some regrets.

It had seemed so right at the time, and the one thing it gave them was the chance to be themselves, together as a couple for many years without the stress and strain of a family. Selfish perhaps in some ways, but they had never allowed regret to be a burden. They had been happy, complete and fulfilled in themselves.

Cassie was the nearest thing Jack and Sam ever had to a child of their own. They were close before Janet died and afterwards grew even closer. Cassie took the couple into her heart as if they were her parents, and Jack and Sam were more than happy to play that role.

The young woman was delighted when her surrogate parents finally got together. She always believed this was their destiny and Sam supposed she was right. It saddened Sam that Cassie was not here now, and she knew the woman would be heartbroken by Jack's death and that she had missed his funeral. She adored Jack.

Sam was frustrated they could not contact Cassie but, once she returned home, they would mourn together. That was a consoling thought. For now, Cassie was doing what she wanted to do, exploring a previously uncharted galaxy. Sam kind of envied her, but she had had her time.

Children and Cassie might have been a comfort now, of course, but Sam had friends. Good friends. She would survive and endure.

"I love you so much, honey, so much," she said. "Always."

Sam smiled softly at the memories that one word provoked. Always. It was the sentiment that best described their relationship and enduring love. She would always love him, no matter what happened in the future - love him as she always had.

She recalled Jack whispering that word to her when her father was dying. The utterance of that solitary declaration, the notion of him being there for her, had meant a lot to Sam. After that, she had expected something to happen between them, but it had not, at least not straightaway. This had puzzled and hurt her, but she had never summoned the courage to make the first move. Or at least not after that one occasion shortly before her father's death, when she had mustered the nerve to turn up at his place, fretting about her forthcoming marriage and the bad choices she had made.

Sam yearned for Jack to say or do something that would dig her out of the hole she had dug for herself – anything might have sufficed, however small. She wanted to tell him how she felt, to get an inkling of hope. Kerry Johnson was there and her shock and despair could not have been more complete, or so she thought. Then Jacob had died.

It was not until much later she understood why he waited so long to ask her out on a date. Jack had his own fears, lacking the courage, taking a long time to pluck up the nerve. He feared rejection, failure, was uncertain of her true feelings. Once they started dating it had not taken them long to find out what was true, what lay in their hearts, but taking that first step had been difficult.

"Wasn't it a Chinese philosopher who said 'a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step', my love?" she asked the ether. "He was right. I'm so glad you took that first step. What would my life have been like? I can't even imagine. It was one hell of a journey, Jack - quite a ride. Worth every moment of waiting, every battle we fought, every day we struggled."

She smiled brightly at the thought, but her sigh was wistful. "I guess I'm going to have to go now, Jack, and learn to live this life without you. I need to take my first step on the rest of that journey. I wish you could be here for it, but you can't, so I'll do it without you. I can do it, my darling. I can."

Hunching her shoulders against the cold, Sam looked around again. The chill breeze cut into her cheeks and down to her bones. Shivering, she started to move away, pausing and turning back briefly.

"Goodbye, Jack. I'll be back to visit you very soon, tell you how I'm getting on. I'll miss telling you things, so I'll come back to share. I know you'll still be here for me, always."

Then she walked away without looking back again, and went to find the friends that were another fundamental element of her life. They would share that journey and so would Jack, in her heart.

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When Sam awoke with her head resting on a person's chest and the reassuring feel of someone's arms around her, she started, thoughts immediately reaching out to Jack. Jack! No! It couldn't be him. It would never be him again. How would she ever deal with such a loss? She could only try, live day to day as Jack would want her to live.

In her dead husband's absence, however, the idea that she had slept in someone else's embrace horrified her. When she opened half an eye warily, and realized it was Teal'c, Sam was relieved.

Teal'c had been such a consolation when they returned to the cabin the previous night with Daniel and Vala. He held her close while she sobbed her heart out, and was quietly reassuring, saying little as usual. His presence alone meant so much. It had ever been thus.

So, she had fallen asleep on her couch with him, huh? She smiled softly, pleased by the notion that he had not left her and gone to the bed prepared for him in a guest room. After the initial shock was over, she realized it felt good to wake in his arms, and that he was there for her as he had been so many times during their years as team mates and friends.

Teal'c had frequently been a rock to lean on. When Jack disappeared off world with that rat fink Harry Maybourne, for example, and when Janet died. Sam could think of many occasions when his strong arms, a few apt words or his silent but solid presence had been a comfort. She had missed him.

Reluctant to disturb him when he seemed to be sleeping so peacefully, she decided to stay put until events made her move. She could not hear Daniel or Vala moving around so assumed they must still be sleeping. A brief look at her watch told her it was still early.

Carefully craning her neck, she looked up at her Jaffa friend's face and ran her eyes over his features. He was starting to look old, now, older than she had ever imagined he might.

A kernel of concern twisted her stomach at the thought as she wondered how many more years Teal'c might live and whether she might have to bear that loss too one day. No doubt, he would out live them all despite those additional years resulting from their experiences on the Odyssey all that time ago.

Then, from the corner of her eyes, she saw something glinting in his hand and turned her head to peer at it, astonished to see it looked like a necklace she had believed lost many years ago. Looking closer, she thought it might be that very same necklace. Well she remembered turning the house upside down for it and grumping at Jack because she had lost it and could not fathom where.

They'd had an argument that day as he could not seem to understand what all the fuss was about. She could get a new necklace, couldn't she? He could buy her a replacement. So like a man. Nothing could replace the memories the original held for her - surely, he knew that - but Jack did not seem to get it and this irked her, niggling for a while.

The argument turned to sullen silence between them, with Jack failing to see what he had said and done that was so wrong. Making up again was quite nice, she recalled, although she carried a small flame of resentment inside for many days.

Jack brought her a new necklace and she pretended to be pleased, which she was in her own way, but he never had understood that she mourned the loss of the missing one. That necklace had belonged to her mother, and had meant so much. It was irreplaceable.

The more she looked at what Teal'c held in his hand, the more she knew it was hers. What was Teal'c doing with it? Slowly, she reached out to touch it with her fingers, but Teal'c stirred so she quickly withdrew her hand.

Sam knew she must have given it to Teal'c and, if so, there was only one time when that could have happened - a time many years ago that she did not remember but he did. This appeared to confirm what she had suspected but had not considered much for years. They had become something more than just friends when stranded on the Odyssey. This might take some thinking about.

When he woke to find Samantha in his arms, Teal'c's heart thudded so rapidly and loudly that he believed the whole world might hear it, which meant she must too. Quickly, he withdrew the embrace and moved to create some distance between them, finally shifting his eyes to meet hers and gauge her reaction.

"Samantha," he said without thinking, and she looked at him with surprise. She could not recall him ever calling her that before. Sam had tried many times to persuade him to refer to her by her forename, without getting through. This, along with her discovery of the necklace, provoked her thoughts further, and she noticed when he quickly realized what he held in his hand and put it in a pocket, apparently hoping she had failed to notice. Sam did not intend to disillusion him.

This was not the right time to challenge him about any of it, therefore she remained silent so she could mull over it later. This was a time to mourn the loss of her husband, and not let anything intrude on that, although some distraction from her grief might have been useful. As the implications might be more difficult to face than her sorrow, however, Sam did not comment.

Besides, she suspected her knowledge would mortify Teal'c and it would make him uncomfortable if she mentioned it. Sam did not want that because she needed his friendship right here and now. She needed those sturdy arms of consolation, his quiet and placid strength.

"Morning Teal'c," she said with a faint smile.

"General Carter," he replied, realizing his mistake and regretting it. He had sworn never to call her Samantha again. It brought back too many bitter and sorrowful memories, although the simple act of seeing her did too.

"I'm retired, Teal'c. Samantha or Sam would probably be more appropriate."

Although he inclined his head as if in agreement, this idea disturbed Teal'c and, certainly, he could not envisage referring to her as Sam. This was O'Neill's name for her and would always remain so. He would always respect that and the man who he had been pleased to call a friend. Teal'c had to differentiate his intimacy with Samantha from O'Neill's, which is why using that name had become his practice on board the Odyssey.

O'Neill's loss had hit him hard, but not as hard as he imagined it had hit Samantha. It was important to be here on Earth to support her, no matter how much he ached inside for the death of O'Neill and her loss. Even the passing of the years had not rid him of the deep feelings he held for his lost love.

"I'll make some coffee," she said, getting up and stretching to iron out the kinks in her ageing body. Teal'c said nothing, which she took to indicate agreement to her intent, and she headed for the kitchen.

This section of the cabin consisted of one large room, with the kitchen adjoining the living room in an open plan style. A breakfast type counter divided the two, and she could close shutters on that divide if she wished, although there was no door between, just an open space where a door or wall could have been.

As Sam made coffee, she kept glancing through the open shutters toward Teal'c, who sat silently waiting. She recalled thinking how much older he seemed, but now she came to look more closely she saw he still appeared to be fit and strong, with muscles bulging as they always had. His hair was grey and he bore some ageing lines, but these were the only outward signs of his advanced years.

Sam suddenly realized how little she knew about the life he now led. It had been a few years since they had seen him last and, unsurprisingly, she had been too preoccupied the previous day to enquire. Now, she was not sure she wished to intrude. Teal'c was a very private man, just as her husband had been. He may not thank her for curiosity.

"How have you been, Teal'c?" she asked, thinking that very general question might suffice.

"I have been well, General Carter."

"Sam!" she retorted.

"Samantha," he responded, and she smiled. To Teal'c the name on his lips spoke of an intimacy that did not exist and therefore seemed strange, but he could not deny her request any longer.

"Samantha…" she said, echoing him, "I like that, Teal'c. It seems right coming from you."

She noticed the short bow of his head, but silence followed and she poured the now ready coffee. "Cream? Sugar?"

"Thank you, no."

Placing the cups on the coffee table, Sam sat next to him. "You certainly look well," she said as if there had been no interruption of her enquiry about his health.

"I am an old man."

"We're all old," she replied with a reassuring smile. "Do you miss fighting?"

Teal'c sighed, slightly surprised by her question. "I am old enough to wish for peace, but I miss it."

"And you get peace?"

"Indeed."

She heard the signs of stirring in the cabin and knew their time alone would not be long enough to probe too much further.

"Are you going to stay long, Teal'c?" she asked, wondering about his plans for the coming days.

"I do not wish to intrude."

She smiled sweetly and reached out an arm to squeeze his affectionately. "You couldn't intrude and, right now, I don't think I want to grieve alone. I'd like you to stay for a few days if that's okay."

"If you wish it, I can not refuse. I will stay for as long as you need me, Samantha."

His words warmed her heart considerably, along with the use of her forename, as if he had always referred to her thus. "It's so good to see you again. I've missed you. We both did."

"Likewise. I regret that I did not see O'Neill before he died. I did not wish to become a stranger. Time passed." He knew it was a poor excuse, but there was far more to it than that. Samantha, however, could not know he had grieved her loss so much and for so long, or how painful it had been to see her and O'Neill together, even while that had also been a comfort in his loss.

"You could never be a stranger, Teal'c, and you have nothing to feel sorry about. Please don't regret."

He smiled faintly. "I will try not to."

"I think we're about to be interrupted by Daniel and Vala. I hope we get the chance to talk alone again."

"I would like that, Samantha."

"Good. Then we'll make it so."

She grinned, a smile that reminded him of the Samantha he had known years ago. It lit her eyes, making it appear she could temporarily forget her loss and be happy. Teal'c wished that for her more than anything, but realized the coming days and months would not be easy. However, her smile had always seemed to gladden the hearts of the rest of SG-1, and it gladdened his now.

Then, with the appearance of Daniel and Vala, their moment was lost, which they both regretted. Such a moment might be hard to evoke even in years of trying. They might not have enough years left.

Teal'c stayed for a few days, and Daniel and Vala moved into the cabin Daniel had rented, which was as close as they could get without moving into Jack and Sam's place. Sam was not certain how she felt about them living so close, with the option of interfering in her life on a day to day basis, but appreciated the sentiment.

She knew they cared deeply and were concerned about how she would cope without Jack. They wanted to be around to support her. Sam, however, understood she had to learn to live with her husband's loss, and how to be alone again. How could she do that with Daniel and Vala around all the time? She said nothing, deciding to deal with it when it became necessary to put her foot down. Everyone needs their own space, after all, and both Jack and Sam had appreciated that during their marriage.

So, Sam was never alone much for days after that. Although she and Teal'c spent time together over those days, they never recaptured that moment, just as they had both feared would be the case.

Before he returned home, Sam insisted he should take a memento back with him. She wanted him to have something of Jack's. Teal'c seemed startled by such an idea and ruminated about what object he should choose. He would never forget O'Neill, and did not need anything to prompt that memory, but the offer pleased him greatly.

When he chose Jack's fishing tackle, Sam nearly laughed aloud. She knew Teal'c had never enjoyed fishing, so his choice was surprising and a little ironic. When she questioned his selection, Teal'c smiled enigmatically.

"I will learn to fish in memory of O'Neill. That is fitting, is it not?" She nodded agreement with a grin. "This place reminds me of my own home. Many trees and a lake close-by. Not as close, but close enough. My lake teams with fish."

He sounded proud of the fact and turned to look at her sitting next to him on the couch, a sardonic smile on his face. Sam laughed. For Jack it had never been about catching fish but the act of fishing. She knew Teal'c had never really got that.

"I will be honored to fish in that lake and remember O'Neill," he added.

"I like that idea, Teal'c. So would he."

"I am certain it would raise a wry smile, an arched eyebrow, and possibly an acerbic comment."

"Absolutely," she said with a chuckle in her tone. "The place where you live is very beautiful?" she asked curiously.

To the surprise of everyone, Teal'c had not returned to Chulak to live out the remainder of his days in the retirement he'd chosen to take. He had made his home in a Jaffa settlement on another, mainly agrarian, planet. Here, the Jaffa chose to live in peace: farming, forestry, hunting and trading.

Teal'c no longer participated in the wider affairs and politics of the Jaffa, despite that his status gave him that right, and the frequent requests that he do so. He sought peace after the long years of fighting for causes and freedom and had found it.

"Extremely. And tranquil," he claimed, and she noticed a slightly far away look in his eyes as if he was remembering and missing home. No doubt he was. Earth was no longer his home, and it had never been the home of his heart.

"I wish I could see it."

"You would always be welcome, Samantha."

"I'll bear that in mind. Perhaps we could go fishing," she said with a wistful smile.

"Perhaps," he responded, thinking that could be a satisfying pastime with Samantha sitting by his side in still and silent companionship, but not expectant of it ever becoming reality.

She rose and walked over to the shelves lining one wall of the living room, picking up a photograph of her and Jack at their wedding and looking at it wordlessly for a while. Teal'c knew the photograph and its frame were special. Samantha had given it pride of place wherever she had lived over the years since their marriage. However, he would have been surprised that the moment was not one of grieving for her husband, but one of mourning for Teal'c himself and the fact he would leave soon. Sam had found his company invaluable.

Turning with the picture in her hand, she rejoined Teal'c on the couch. "I'd like you to have this," she said, handing it to him, and her suggestion stunned him.

"I-I cannot. That is far too precious to you. A-a gift beyond value," he stammered uncertainly. Sam was amused by his un-Teal'c like behavior.

"It would mean a lot to me if you'd take it. I could probably replace the photo if I want to, and I have others."

"O'Neill gave you the picture frame. I remember it well."

The frame had once held a picture of SG-1. O'Neill gave her the picture in the frame as a birthday present many years before when he was still their team leader. He suspected Samantha cherished it. She still had the team shot, and it took its rightful place elsewhere, but when they married she had loved the silver frame so much that she had replaced that photograph with the current one.

"I don't think he'd mind me giving it to you. I figure he'd appreciate it. Teal'c, you being here for the last few days has helped me so much. I'll always be grateful and I want to give you something tangible to… well… as thanks I guess. If what I give you has no value to me, it would be meaningless."

Those words provoked a memory for Teal'c as she had said something similar when insisting he take the necklace that had once belonged to her mother. He had tried to resist, but she had been determined. The Jaffa knew he would fight a losing battle again now, so did not deny her the pleasure she obviously took from giving. Accepting the valued gift gave him pleasure too.

Simultaneously, Sam realized that this was exactly why she had given him the necklace on the Odyssey. They must have been very close for her to do that. She wondered what he was thinking but, once again, did not feel inclined to raise the subject. That would wait for another day, another chance, and Sam knew she would make that chance a reality one of these days.

TBC

Author's Footnote: Apologies in advance but it might be a couple of weeks before I post another part of this. I have to go away to visit my family and deal with some important and pressing family issues, so may not get the opportunity to participate on line much while there. I might try, but am not making any promises. RL beckons with a loud and insistent cry!

Also, please forgive me if I am slow at responding to feedback because of this. I will respond as soon as I get the opportunity!


	4. Chapter 4

I've returned home, at least for a while, and thought I should take the opportunity to update the website while I can, and post a new chapter of my Enduring Time series, amongst other things. Sorry for the inevitable delay while I was away dealing with some family issues. Hopefully, I will post more while I take a breather from real life, but my fantasy world could be interrupted abruptly again at any time:-)

On with the show…

Summary: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… how exactly did Teal'c acquire Sam's precious necklace? 

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Author's notes: Thanks to Denise once again - the use of her inspiring plot bunny continues into this chapter. Also, many thanks are due to my patient beta reader, ImmerRDA, for her helpful thoughts and suggestions. All remaining errors are entirely down to me. I am also eternally grateful to those of you who are reading this series and who have sent me such wonderful feedback and words of encouragement. 

**Enduring Time: Chapter 4**

_Previously:_

The frame had once held a picture of SG-1. O'Neill gave her the picture in the frame as a birthday present many years before when he was still their team leader. He suspected Samantha cherished it. She still had the team shot, and it took its rightful place elsewhere, but when they married she had loved the silver frame so much that she had replaced that photograph with the current one. 

"I don't think he'd mind me giving it to you. I figure he'd appreciate it. Teal'c, you being here for the last few days has helped me so much. I'll always be grateful and I want to give you something tangible to… well… as thanks I guess. If what I give you has no value to me, it would be meaningless."

Those words provoked a memory for Teal'c as she had said something similar when insisting he take the necklace that had once belonged to her mother. He had tried to resist, but she had been determined. The Jaffa knew he would fight a losing battle again now, so did not deny her the pleasure she obviously took from giving. Accepting the valued gift gave him pleasure too. 

Simultaneously, Sam realized that this was exactly why she had given him the necklace on the Odyssey. They must have been very close for her to do that. She wondered what he was thinking but, once again, did not feel inclined to raise the subject. That would wait for another day, another chance, and Sam knew she would make that chance a reality one of these days. 

_The story continues:_

_Flashback to the stranded Odyssey, many years before…_

The end of their enduring time together approached rapidly as the five occupants of the Odyssey prepared to implement their plans. Plans that would leave four of them without any memories of the years spent on board the ship, but safely out of harm's way. As she added the finishing touches to the arrangements, Sam Carter was so preoccupied with ensuring she got it right and didn't inadvertently kill them all, that she had not spent much time with Teal'c lately. 

Now, her mind drifted away from the work and to Teal'c. She felt guilty because they had little time left to be together, and because she genuinely loved the deeply devoted and affectionate Jaffa. Sam stretched her weary old bones and muscles, rose from her chair, and temporarily abandoned the project to seek out her lover. 

Teal'c gave her a will to live when all hope faded with the passing years. He fought tooth and nail to keep her sane. In the absence of her husband, Sam genuinely believed she might have despaired and gone mad had it not been for Teal'c's steadfast support and love. Now, she feared how Teal'c would endure once they returned to Earth and she reunited with her greatest love, Jack O'Neill. Everyone except Teal'c would forget her long affair with the warrior. 

The notion was disturbing; even though Teal'c claimed he was prepared and would have no regrets, apparently accepting that he would lose her to his friend O'Neill. He genuinely seemed to believe this was where she belonged. Sam agreed because she still loved her husband, despite also loving Teal'c, but she did not think for one minute it would be that easy. On the other hand, what other options were there? None, as far as she could see. 

Sometimes, Sam pondered on Teal'c's relationship with Ishta. Before they left on this mission the pair had still been involved, but Teal'c and Sam never talked about it back then. He never referred to it now, although she had tried to encourage it every so often. Sam supposed the subject was difficult for him to discuss, especially with her, just as the subject of Jack had been between them since they had become lovers. 

She did not know if Teal'c loved Ishta or not. Reluctantly, she admitted to feeling the odd twinge of jealousy about the relationship, although realized that was more than a little unfair, as well as hypocritical. However, she figured Teal'c was probably jealous of Jack. He never said anything but it seemed likely. 

Sam fervently desired Teal'c happiness, wanting him to find lasting love with someone other than her. It so would not be fair for his life to be otherwise because Sam knew with certainty that she would be happy with Jack for the rest of her life. Teal'c loved her, and she understood those feelings ran deep and true. If she could love two men at once, then he could love two women, couldn't he? She hoped and believed it would make things a lot easier on Teal'c if he could return to that relationship with Ishta once they turned back time.

It was not until she moved away from her work bench that Sam realized how much she needed a break. She was tired, old age she guessed. At one time, she pulled all-nighters almost without batting an eye. These days, she was dead beat after a relatively short time. 

Slowly making her way to the ship's communal space, she popped her head around the door to find Daniel and Vala alone. The couple prepared food, but Sam walked in on a loving moment between them that reminded her they would all lose something extraordinary once they returned. Except for Cam. Poor Cam. And Sam herself – she would lose but win at the same time. Jack for Teal'c. 

Although sorrowful about the loss of Teal'c, she could not help but look forward to the day she would return to Jack. It was probably a good thing she would not remember these years. How hard would that be? Sam knew she was the lucky one in this respect. No memories, so no regrets or guilt. 

She hoped that, despite his memories, Teal'c could accept his radical change of status and that the friendship they had once shared would continue. If it did not, she would always wonder why not and never know, but it would break her heart. The couple had discussed it of course, and Teal'c had pledged his continuing friendship, but what he said now and what reality might bring could be different.

Daniel and Vala broke each other's gaze, turning to look at her with a smile.

"Seen Teal'c?" asked Sam.

"I think he's doing something with Cam… somewhere or the other…" Vala replied, her hand waving vacantly into the air to indicate the rest of the ship. 

"Everything okay, Sam?" Daniel asked, and she was not sure whether he meant her personally or her work, so decided a vague answer was required. Sam did not want to stand around chatting with Daniel and Vala. She wanted to spend every spare moment that she could with Teal'c. Besides, the pair needed time together too; time for goodbye to this past before they said hello to a different future.

"Peachy," she responded with a wink, and Daniel grinned. "I'll go find him." Before the couple could reply, she was gone.

Sam found Teal'c with Cam, playing chess. Once upon a time, she might have found them in the gym, sparring, but those days were long gone; leastwise for Mitchell, even if not for Teal'c.

Her lover glanced up as she entered, and smiled, his eyes lighting up at the sight of her. Usually that look never failed to cheer her heart. There had always been something soothing about it because Sam could plainly see how Teal'c felt about her and it made her happy to be loved so. Normally, it thrilled Sam that Teal'c continued to look her that way, despite that she was old and wizened and he still appeared relatively young. He made her feel good about herself. 

Now, the look tore at her heart rather than cheering it because she knew once they returned home he would be obliged to hide all such feelings. It was a poignant moment. 

Teal'c cocked his head, a questioning expression appearing on his face. "You need me, Samantha?" he asked, standing up with an apologetic bow toward Mitchell for interrupting their game. 

She smiled, approaching and taking his strong, large hand into her frail, delicate one. "I didn't mean to butt in, I just…"

"I am certain that Cameron will not be offended by the interruption."

Cam waved a dismissive hand in the air. "You two go right ahead. We can finish this later." 

His air was casual, but deep down he resented them, both of them, as well as Vala and Daniel. Cameron Mitchell was a lonely man, embittered by that solitude and regretting it even more than he regretted the loss of his real life, in addition to the interminably boring years spent stuck on board the ship. Going nowhere with nothing truly useful to do was not the way he had ever pictured his future. 

Cam tried hard not to feel resentful, but it was difficult. The others seemed so happy and content, but he was not - never had been since the first day they were stranded on the Odyssey. He learned to live with it because he had no choice but, even after all these years, his anger and bitterness seethed inside. Normally, he chose not to show it to the others, taking it out on inanimate objects privately, but sometimes it slipped out. He would become irritable or downright argumentative and obnoxious, deliberately picking a fight just so he could shout at one of the others. Old age had amplified this propensity. 

They did not blame him. Indeed, they thought it understandable and sympathized. They could all get on each other's nerves. That was human nature at the best of times, but enhanced for these five by their imprisonment in a confined space from which there was no chance of escape. 

This small group of people had not seen a single day's sunlight for years, or breathed the refreshing palliative of real air or felt its breeze on their faces. This fact alone multiplied their predicament beyond what any human should be expected to bear. Isolation, repetitive monotony and a massive overdose of Seasonal Affective Disorder were a combustible combination. 

In Cameron Mitchell's opinion, the two couples he was forced to live with could be overly smug. He knew they tried to make him fit, to put him at his ease, but he never truly felt either. How could he? Much of the time, Mitchell felt like the fifth wheel on a precariously balanced automobile. He imagined the famous cliff hanging scene at the end of that movie, "The Italian Job". Cam was the spare wheel whose weight would ensure they all toppled over the precipice. 

The couples had each other while he had no one. Sure, he had them, but there was not anyone special. No one to love, no one to hold, no one to truly confide in, no one to make love with. Jeez, he hadn't had sex in what seemed like a hundred years. 

What he would give for that; any of it, but particularly the sex. It wasn't simply about sex, a far better way to satisfy frustration than his current solitary methods. It was about intimacy too - the lack of a certain "something" that you could only share with the person who shares your life and bed. 

On the other hand, a man has needs, doesn't he? Surely, God had not intended for men to live without sex for all those years. How the heck did priests remain celibate for life? He often wondered but figured it must be devotion to a cause, a belief, which kept them going. Stuck on this tub, Mitchell had no causes or beliefs to turn to in his long hours of need and frustration.

Cam was looking forward to getting home, and was impatient to return. First thing he would do when he got back was get a little drunk, or maybe a lot drunk, and pick up a hot and willing woman… but of course he would not remember that once they made it back. For Mitchell, this was probably a blessing.

Not necessarily so for the others, though, and he understood that. The four had mixed feelings about their undertaking, although no real doubts that it was the right thing to do. Save themselves, Landry, the ship, the Asgard technology – and perhaps humanity in the bargain. Who knew what might happen? 

Mitchell sympathized with them, but figured everyone had to make sacrifices. Daniel and Vala, Sam and Teal'c would each sacrifice what they had gained together to get their old lives back. Cam thought he was the one who had been sacrificing for all these years, so it was their turn - and about freakin' time too. 

Besides, when it came down to it, Teal'c would be the one to suffer most because he would be the only one to remember. For the rest of them, everything would revert to normal and they would never know any different. That was a comfort; to everyone except Teal'c, of course. Mitchell had to admit he felt for the big guy. 

They had all been brooding about the implications of the role Teal'c would play in their plan by retaining his added years and remembering. Although he volunteered to do it himself, Cam was secretly pleased he did not have to make the sacrifice after all. Teal'c was right that he was the logical choice for the job, but it was going to be to be tough.

Sam would go back to O'Neill, rightly, but that did not make it any easier on their Jaffa comrade. Daniel and Vala would return to their usual state of acute but unresolved sexual tension, with sometimes hostile undertones. Did they think no one noticed? Didn't they notice? He figured there was a possibility that some day they might get their acts together in real time. The stoic Jaffa warrior, however… no hope - not while O'Neill was around.

Cam was not certain he could tolerate that any better than he endured this seemingly never-ending nothingness. But at least the nothingness was ending for him in one way or another. Sam would either kill them or save them. He preferred the latter, although the former would be fine by him if it meant getting off this stinking ship or ending this interminable imprisonment.

For Teal'c the memory of this endless time would last forever. If he genuinely loved Sam as it appeared - and Mitchell believed he was devoted to her - Teal'c's torment was only just beginning. So, although Mitchell was a little resentful of Sam's interruption when he was spending some quality time with a friend, he understood the need for them to be together in the short time remaining.

Sam acknowledged Cam's words with a nod, looking up at Teal'c and tugging on his hand to hint that he come with her. Teal'c bowed to Mitchell, obeying her desire because it meshed with his own need to spend precious time with Samantha when they had so little to spare. 

On their way back to the cabin they called home, the pair said nothing. Teal'c was the first to speak when they entered and were alone at last.

"What is it, Samantha? Is something wrong?" he queried. 

"No, I was thinking about you, is all. I wanted to see you."

"That suits me very well," he replied with a wisp of a smile, pulling her into his arms for a hug as he knew this was what she needed and wanted. He needed and wanted it too. There was so little time. The notion made him heartsick. 

"Just what I wanted," she said with a sigh, relaxing into his expansive and powerful arms. Powerful those arms might have been, but Teal'c was as gentle as a kitten when it came to demonstrating affection, something that had surprised her at first, while also delighting her. These days she was used to it. 

"Do you wish to lie down, Samantha?" he asked. Feeling her nod against his chest, Teal'c gently led Sam to the bed, and they lay side by side, cuddling. 

"You must be tired," he commented, fingers combing softly through her long grey hair. 

"I am. Back on Earth I'd have retired years ago and be sitting with my feet up playing bridge or something with all the other old girls and waiting for the nurse to come and change my diaper."

Teal'c chuckled lightly at her imagery, hardly able to conceive of Samantha doing any such thing. He had seen such scenes on TV and, as far as he was concerned, they did not depict any woman who was remotely akin to Samantha Carter. She was one of a kind - a very singular woman. 

"That seems unlikely," he said, his thumb scraping over her scalp.

"What do you think I'd be doing back there at my age?" she asked, meeting his affectionate actions with similar ones of her own by smoothing her fingers over his back.

"I have no doubt you would be making waves of some kind."

"Making waves?" she queried looking up into his dark eyes, which twinkled humorously. 

Sam recalled that, many years ago when she had first met Teal'c, he had appeared formidable - both humorless and dispassionate. She knew better than that now, of course. He had learned much of human behavior over his years at Stargate Command. Sometimes she had even begun to suspect he was more human than the rest of them. He simply hid it well because he had little option to do otherwise. 

His humor had seemed so alien – go figure! But that had evolved just as he grew through his contact and friendship with the Tauri. Now, someone who did not know him might be puzzled by his demeanor, and miss that dry drollness he was given to using, believing he had no sense of humor. But wit was something that Teal'c did not lack in any way. His use of the English language to crack witticisms was subtle, yes, but very human. 

"You are a person who will never cease to make waves, Samantha," he added with a smile. 

Once, Teal'c had found smiling difficult, it seemed. His lips would form into a grimace as if he'd never had any practice at smiling. She could remember Jack jokingly telling him to practice because his attempts to smile had been unnatural. They made him appear forbidding and scary for those they wished to befriend on other worlds. 

Since then he'd had lots of practice and his smile was natural. It lit his face in a way that made him friendly and welcoming. He still used those muscles of his face sparingly, however, even after all this time. Sam found that smile adorable and could not fail to return it in kind. So she grinned inanely at him for a short while before burying her face in his chest and snuggling up closer.

"I'm worried, Teal'c," she said after a lengthy pause.

"You are having difficulties with your solution to our situation?" 

"I meant for you, about you," she replied, looking up and searching his face. 

He had no wish for her to be concerned. Squeezing her gently, and then starting to caress her back with his hands, he well understood what was bothering her. 

"You need not."

"Yes, I do. This is going to make you unhappy and I don't want to make you unhappy." Although he continued to caress her, Teal'c failed to respond. When she pulled away from him and sat up, he was surprised. Reaching around her neck, Sam unclasped the necklace she wore so frequently, and held it out to him. 

"I want you to have this. A token of love, of remembrance," she said.

Teal'c appeared taken aback by her offer of such a token and propped himself up on an elbow, staring at her and shaking his head. 

"I will never forget, Samantha. I have no wish to forget."

She smiled, but her hand reached out for his free one and tried to press the necklace into it. "Please take it."

He looked dismayed. "But this was your mother's necklace. It is precious to you. I cannot." 

Samantha had spoken to him about her mother many times; how much she loved and missed her. She had revealed her past, her heartbreak and sorrow. He knew the necklace was one of the few truly tangible possessions that reminded her of that past and of her mother's love. 

After her mother's death, Jacob Carter gave her the necklace, placing it around her neck and telling Samantha that her mother always intended her to have it when she came of age. To Teal'c, this appeared to be a solemn rite and Jaffa were very familiar with the sanctity of such rites. Rituals had ruled their lives for centuries, and continued to. 

He considered that such a rite of passage should be respected and adhered to, remembered and cherished. So, although moved that she should wish to bequeath him this treasure, Teal'c was reluctant to breach the sanctity it represented. The necklace was a possession beyond value. 

"If it wasn't precious to me, there would be no point in giving it to you. I love you. I want you to remember that always, even when it will seem that I don't," she persisted. Her words stirred Teal'c's heart and his hand reached up to her cheek, his thumb starting to stroke it gently. 

"I do not need a token to remember that, Samantha. I cannot accept such a gift." He was perturbed to see that his refusal upset her.

"I really want you to have it. Please," she begged. "Maybe you will need it one day. I have to know that you can look at this and think well of me, and of us, these years - of our love, of mine."

"I anticipate nothing less than thinking well of you, or us," he insisted.

"Teal'c…" she started with a doleful expression.

Sitting up now, he grasped the hand that held the necklace, without taking the gift, and interrupted. 

"You will remain in my heart forever," he said resolutely. 

'I wish I could say the same,' she thought. Of course, Teal'c was in her heart and always would be, but as a friend and nothing more. Throughout her years on this ship, Sam's heart had belonged to two men, but she knew that once time rolled back, it would belong to only one - Jack O'Neill, her beloved husband.

If not for Jack, Sam realized that something more than friendship between her and Teal'c might have been possible in their real time; if they would ever have dared to venture there. In reality, it was not feasible. Unique and extraordinary circumstances had thrown them together and would pull them apart with equal velocity and ruthlessness. 

"This is my heart, Teal'c," she said, extricating her hand from his and taking advantage of his open palm to press the necklace into it and close his fist around the gift. "This is the part of my heart and soul that loves you dearly and always will. Please take it."

Teal'c expected teary eyes filled with overwrought emotion to accompany her plea, but they did not. It was ironic that he might have been able to steel himself against tears to resist her gift, but could not when what her expression conveyed was love, not sorrow. He supposed that she realized that.

Kissing her brow, he eyed her necklace and rubbed it with his fingers. "I shall treasure it always, Samantha. I know it means much to you, and it will mean much to me. But you will not recall gifting it to me."

She nodded with a regretful air. "I know, but it doesn't matter. Its loss will remain a mystery that only you could resolve, although I doubt you ever will." 

Teal'c remembered those moments with fondness. She had been right about the necklace, which steadied and comforted him in times of doubt and pain. He would hold and caress it in his fingers, looking upon it and recalling her love, that it had been real and true and deeply felt. 

Many times in retrospect, Teal'c was pleased he had accepted the token of her love, that part of her heart and soul that had belonged to him for years. So too would he be content that he had accepted this new token of her friendship, the photograph of Jack and Sam in its frame filled with memories. It represented their enduring and deep friendship and that remained more precious to him than almost anything. 

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Enduring Time

Summary: Maybe memory could convey "essence of Jack" after all. If only Sam could have bottled that unique essence to open, breathe in deeply and luxuriate in at whim…

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story and thereby helping improve it in so many small, and sometimes large, ways. Any remaining errors are entirely my own.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 5**

_Previously:_

Teal'c remembered those moments with fondness. She had been right about the necklace, which steadied and comforted him in times of doubt and pain. He would hold and caress it in his fingers, looking upon it and recalling her love, that it had been real and true and deeply felt.

Many times in retrospect, Teal'c was pleased he had accepted the token of her love, that part of her heart and soul that had belonged to him for years. So too would he be content that he had accepted this new token of her friendship, the photograph of Jack and Sam in its frame filled with memories. It represented their enduring and deep friendship and that remained more precious to him than almost anything.

_The story continues:_

When Teal'c eventually returned to his home and Sam found herself alone, she ruminated about her gift to her Jaffa friend. He seemed pleased she had given him something he knew she valued. That was satisfying, but the act prompted her to look for her and Jack's old photographs.

Damned if she could remember where they were, she frantically searched through cupboards, desperate to wallow in the memories they would summon. Finally, Sam found them in a few boxes stashed behind some old clothes and pulled them out, taking them into the living room and lovingly placing them on the couch.

After making coffee, she curled up beside the boxes as best as her old bones would let her, starting to sift through them. Quickly finding the other wedding photographs, both official and informal, Sam began to leaf through the albums.

Jack's glorious smile beamed at her from the first one. He looked so happy, and so did she. That smile really was something. It was the kind of smile that could bowl you over and make your heart skip a beat, and it had done so frequently both before and after they had become a couple.

Sam could feel tears pricking at her eyes as she recalled that day, and the fact that she would never see that smile beaming at her again, at least in the flesh. A photograph, and even the memory, simply did not do it justice. Her husband's smiles, and personality, were so much larger than that. Some of his charisma was lost in translation and a mere camera could not capture Jack's larger than life presence.

If she closed her eyes… perhaps that was better. Maybe memory could convey "essence of Jack" after all. If only Sam could have bottled that unique essence to open, breathe in deeply and luxuriate in at whim. She sighed, unshed tears brimming on her eyelids as the memories of their wedding day assailed her.

They say getting married is one of the happiest days of your life, and one of the most stressful, and they are both right and wrong about that. The fact is, Sam was so darned scared and nervous that much of her wedding day was a blur.

Sam remembered thinking she glowed. After becoming Mrs. O'Neill, she figured the glow must have gained sufficiently high wattage to light a galaxy. She recalled walking down the aisle and seeing Jack waiting at its end with Daniel by his side. The smile that greeted her had been special, as if she was the only person in that church, and she could remember nothing else whatsoever about that walk, except it seemed interminably long.

She barely remembered the ceremony itself, had a vague recollection of vows and saying I do, but that was about it – until the priest pronounced them man and wife. That part she remembered vividly. Jack had called her Mrs. O'Neill for the first time, looking happier than she could ever remember, and he had kissed her, as was the tradition. Sam melted into a puddle and could not remember much else that had happened immediately afterwards. It was like the momentous occasion pulled her into a dream and events passed her by.

There was a hazy recollection of what seemed like chaos as people took photographs and everyone congratulated them. The next thing she recalled clearly was snatches of speeches, cutting the cake and forcing some food into her excitedly agitated stomach. If she was honest, a lot of the speech making was a blur, but cutting the cake stuck in her mind because of the way Jack looked at her. Sam imagined she had a similarly idiotic grin on her face too, and that her eyes were dancing with delight along with his.

Pulling out of her reverie, she glanced at the photo again. It captured the cake cutting, and they looked as dumbly happy and idiotic as she remembered. Was the memory born from the photo, or was it real? Sam was uncertain and it probably did not matter. She could envisage the moment so perfectly in her mind, the emotions and the way Jack looked, that the photo seemed almost irrelevant.

Tears coursed down her cheeks now. She simply could not help herself. Sam thought she had cried so much over the few days Teal'c had stayed with her that she was all out of tears. Obviously not. She still had a lot of crying left to do, so she let it come, shuddering and shaking and placing the photo album to one side so she did not spoil it with those salty tears.

Over the days following Jack's funeral, Sam was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. She felt bitter anger at her husband for leaving her, cursing about betrayal and broken promises. Jack had sworn he would never leave her. They were for always and forever. He had promised. Damn the man! She hated him. She loved him. She hated him.

Sam's fury at his abandonment seemed to know no bounds. Physical violence with the inanimate was not unknown. Things got broken amongst the harshly insulting and stridently vocal curses. This was unlike Sam but, on occasion, her rage seemed to lack the restraint she had exercised throughout the rest of her life.

Of course, these outbursts usually ended in tears. A couple of times, she swung for Teal'c as if Jack's death was his fault, and beat her hands against his solid chest. He let her vent her spleen and pummel him for a while before grasping her and pulling her close until the tears came and she trembled in his embrace. Afterwards, Sam's behavior mortified her, but Teal'c was at his steadfast and stoic best. He knew exactly how to calm her down. His enduring friendship was exactly what she needed at such times.

Sometimes, there were long silences as she seemed to enter a world of her own, thoughts unknown to all but her. Or she would disappear and mourn her loss in hushed aloneness. She might happily, or sadly, reminisce with her friends about better and less lonely and sorrowful times. Her mournful sobbing might start up quietly and suddenly, and she would ask one of her friends for a hug to chase those blues away.

If an emotion existed, Sam probably experienced it at one time or another. She supposed such violent swings were natural and would continue for a very long time as she came to terms with losing Jack - if she ever came to terms with it. Such a thing was almost impossible to contemplate.

Jack had been fundamental to her life. She loved him and missed him so much, finding it hard to imagine living without him in that life. Sam was pleased he had died peacefully and painlessly, instead of due to some long drawn out illness, but the shock of that sudden passing made it all the more difficult to bear.

This was one memory that was as vivid as if it had happened merely minutes ago, and yet it was one of the worst of her life and probably always would be. Waking up to find your husband dead next to you in bed is not a memory to cherish. No one should have to suffer that, although many probably did. The fact she probably was not alone in suffering a loss like that offered no consolation to her grieving heart.

She had tried to wake him, gently at first and then more frantically. Sam had not wanted to accept he had gone and the reality that Jack had died in his sleep took a while to sink in. Then she remembered screaming, or more of a keening actually. And she had sobbed her heart out over his unmoving and lifeless body, wetting the t-shirt he wore to bed - anger, heartbreak and a whole range of emotions bombarding her.

Sam remembered kissing him - lips, face, and neck. She had caressed his pale flesh, grasped him and held on desperately, as if he might wake and smile and say "Hey, Sam" as he had done so frequently in the mornings. He had always been a joy to wake up next to, ever since their first time of discovering that pleasure.

She recalled thinking about that at the time, the first night they had spent in each other's arms. Both of them were so nervous about lovemaking the day before. They had so much baggage that could not simply be forgotten or lightly passed over. Sam invited him to lunch at her place on the weekend of their very first date. Instead of eating food, they had eaten each other, but it had been tentative at first, despite the years of waiting and secret yearning.

Eyes closed, she could almost feel his delicate, loving touch, the pent up emotion that poured out of both of them and eventually made that first time such a delight, and so special. They giggled like a couple of teenagers on heat, as if it was the first time they had ever had sex in their lives.

Ultimately, despite their shy nervousness, the sex was great, and she recalled Jack voicing this opinion more than once. She agreed. He was hot, terrific in fact - gentle, unselfish, affectionate, and darned good at lovemaking. He excelled at those small loving moments that accompanied such an act between two people who loved each other dearly, although neither had yet declared it in words.

Jack stayed with her that night, before he returned to DC, and this first lovemaking session was not the last that day, or night. She woke and realized he lay next to her with his arms entwined around her naked body, and she felt unbelievably happy and content. Sam could not recall feeling anything quite like it before. He opened his eyes, meeting hers and saying "Hey, Sam," as if this was something that happened every day.

They spent the longest time possible in each other's arms, right up to the moment he had to get ready to leave for the airport. When he left, in an overly emotional state of mind, Sam cried because she missed Jack's embraces and caresses so much, especially not knowing when she would experience them again.

Jack called when he got back to DC, and the conversation might have been lacking, but the feeling was there. Words did not seem to matter. It was obvious they both felt something and could sense it in each other, even through the silent long pauses. He felt the lack of her presence, just as she did his, but the telephone had to suffice.

He called her a lot after that. They spoke, or not, virtually every night until they met again. She went to DC. Jack sent her a key to his place in Virginia and told her to let herself in. When he came home late from the Pentagon, she was waiting for him in bed as if she lived there, and Jack seemed delighted about that. It was so natural, so normal, so right.

They never looked back. The notion of getting married seemed natural and right too, and so unlike how she had felt when her previous two fiances had popped the question. Sam had not hesitated. She knew. Before, with Jonas and Pete, she had never really been sure - not blessed with the same certainty that she was doing the right thing.

Sam could not let go of that, of him. The time they had spent as a couple was too short, even while it had been long. Longer than many marriages, and probably way more satisfying. Accepting loss takes time, and she still had a long way to go. The funeral had seemed unreal, even the time spent with her friends afterwards, when she had tried to shed her loss in falling tears and sobs that had wracked her aging body, and her heart and soul, just as they did now.

By the time she finished crying, Sam had used up almost half a box of the Kleenex that would always make her think of her husband. Daniel had once told her a tale about Jack contacting him on Abydos all those years ago. The tissues make her recall it, and she smiled about him coming up with something so simple to prove a point. So like Jack. She loved that about him, but she loved so many things.

Her coffee remained untouched and was cold, so she went to make another before settling down with her wedding photographs once more. She looked at half a dozen before coming across something she actually remembered happening - their first dance together as husband and wife.

As they danced, it seemed as if they were the only people in the room, eyes only for each other. Jack had a grin plastered on his face, not that there was anything fake about it but because he could not have stopped grinning even if he had wanted to. She felt the same, mentally describing the feeling as deliriously overjoyed.

They had danced together before, had held each other in their arms many times, but this felt special. No doubt it was, given the situation. Once again, Jack whispered "Mrs. O'Neill" in her ear and kissed her.

Their union excited him incredibly, more than she had ever imagined he might be. After all, Jack had been married before when she had not. But this might as well have been his first time, and he could have been years younger than he was, because he felt younger. He looked it too.

In fact, he cut a dashing and handsome figure in his dress blues, dripping with the medals he'd fought long and hard to attain. He would never have asked for any of those accolades. A simple thank you and a pat on the back for a job well done might have sufficed. But Sam knew he was proud of those medals - each and every one. Jack appreciated being appreciated even if he had rarely sought it. He took great pride in his life's work, defending the country he loved so much, despite its faults.

Jack was a natural at that, and it showed. He might come over as cynical but he groomed this trait deliberately. For him, however, the honor of serving and protecting meant more than anything. It was fundamental to Jack O'Neill, something he was born to do and that he prized highly.

Most of the other events portrayed in the photographs were only vague memories in Sam's head - Cassie looking thrilled and happy, Daniel's smile, Teal'c's small bow, and hug. Even her brother and his family seemed pleased, something she never anticipated given Mark's views about the military. He liked Jack, thought he was a stand-up guy, even if he resented that she had not married his friend Pete as hoped. Mark realized this was what his sister really wanted, why marriage to Pete would never have worked. Jack O'Neill was the real deal for Sam.

The things she remembered most vividly about their wedding day involved Jack directly, and that outrageously gorgeous smile of his or his simple touch. The photograph of them getting into the car to leave brought back such a vivid memory, Sam could almost smell and feel it.

When it came down to it, what she recalled after that did not appear in any photograph, thank the Lord - Jack making love to her as Mrs. O'Neill for the very first time. He insisted on doing all the hard work, sweeping her off her feet both literally and figuratively, and out of her mind. Hot2, she thought.

Unbelievable and unforgettable even in the light of the many occasions they had made love before or since. Perhaps it was something to do with having got married, Sam was never sure, but it certainly seemed extra special.

Later in life, sex had become less important. They grew too old for it to be something they participated in so frequently, although they had their moments, even in Jack's old age.

Age mellowed Jack, mellowed both of them. Or perhaps it was nothing to do with age, but that they had mellowed each other. More likely, it was something to do with creaking joints and the onset of arthritis, the thought of which made Sam chuckle lightly, despite her self-pity. Jack and his wretched knees! Those knees always had been something of a standing joke, however serious they might be in reality.

Instead of the hot2 sex, companionship and affection became paramount in their lives, and they became pretty darned good at both of those. Jack was a demonstrative man, more with actions than words. The simplest of acts could speak of his enduring love and he felt she was similarly expressive. They were happy, content. Always.

Sure, they argued. Humdingers sometimes. One or other of them might stomp off lividly, leave the room or house and go elsewhere to cool off, calm down. They were a passionate pair, sometimes foolishly stubborn, but their military training and lives made restraint and self-control fundamental to both of them. Without that characteristic, their arguments might have been explosively volatile.

Often these rows were about something so stupid that, afterwards, they could barely recall what it was, or fathom why it had seemed so important. Frequently, it was one of those man/woman, Venus/Mars kinds of things that drove them to it, just as it was in most long term relationships.

Making up again was the best thing about their arguments. Jack always seemed to make up with her so stylishly. There was something about those moments; something about the way he did it and what he did. They hung heavily in the memory because they were unique, and Sam recalled the making up moments much better than most of the arguments that led to them.

Mostly a simple touch or kiss was enough, sometimes a gift, or a couple of words. The next thing she knew, they would be in each other's arms and all would be forgiven. She had nothing to regret about their relationship and, for this, Sam was grateful. She knew she had made him happy, just as he did her, and this meant a lot to her.

No, the only true regret she had was his death. Inevitable it might have been, eventually, but it had come too soon for her liking. She knew there never would have been a right time for it to happen so his loss ripped her heart to shreds. Sam knew her life had changed forever and, no matter how long she lived hereafter, she would always miss him and yearn for him.

But there were so very many wonderful memories, and she would have to console herself with those because there was nothing else left. Friendship and company could not compensate for her loss, but it might ease the pain somewhat.

Although tempted to continue her trawl through their old photographs, of which there were many, Sam decided against it. Getting up, she went to hide them away again, knowing there would be other days to seek them out once more. There would be other days to reminisce about their honeymoon, vacations, their parties and barbeques, and old team pictures - probably lots of long and lonely days.

When she had removed the photos from the old closet, Sam had been so preoccupied with finding them she had paid no heed to their location. Now, as she stood up from crouching to secrete them away, she realized the old clothes they lurked behind also brought back memories of Jack.

Both Daniel and Vala had offered to help her sort out her husband's old clothes and possessions, but Sam had resisted such action. She could not bear to part with him, or those memories of him, not yet. One day, she knew she would have to face that task, but why did it have to be so soon? Sam could not imagine any earthly reason why, so she stubbornly clung to what she possessed of Jack.

Her gifts to Teal'c were the first things she had parted with and, no doubt, more would follow. Daniel, for example, might want something to remember Jack by too, but there was no hurry for any of that.

Now, she found herself confronted by an array of Jack's old clothing, including uniforms. Fondly, she reached out to touch the blue fabric, running her fingers over the eagles that had designated him as a colonel, her team leader.

Old memories rushed back to her, memories of the days before they had come together as husband and wife and settled into their happy peace with each other. And, along with those old memories, the tears came unbidden to her eyes yet again, dampening the blue fabric of the uniform she caressed against her cheek.

This uniform had signified his rank as her Commanding Officer. It had meant so much to her, just as he had, inextricably uniting and bonding them, but also standing as a powerful obstacle to their feelings for what had seemed an unending time. Sam had admired, respected and loved Jack for so many years that it was almost too hard to recall a time in her life when she had not.

That love would remain with her until her dying day – always – and something about that notion made her smile. It was as if Jack reached out to her from beyond the grave. She could feel his touch, the whisper of his breath on her neck and his softly spoken words of love. The thought that he was watching over her, continuing to care for and protect her, calmed her. It always would.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Enduring Time Chapter 6

Title: Enduring Time

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Young Captain Sam Carter had heard things about Colonel Jack O'Neill, plenty…

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Thanks once again to ImmerRDA for her tireless efforts in beta reading this series. Her comments and suggestions have been invaluable.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 6**

_Previously:_

Now, she found herself confronted by an array of Jack's old clothing, including uniforms. Fondly, she reached out to touch the blue fabric, running her fingers over the eagles that had designated him as a colonel, her team leader.

Old memories rushed back to her, memories of the days before they had come together as husband and wife and settled into their happy peace with each other. And, along with those old memories, the tears came unbidden to her eyes yet again, dampening the blue fabric of the uniform she caressed against her cheek.

This uniform had signified his rank as her Commanding Officer. It had meant so much to her, just as he had, inextricably uniting and bonding them, but also standing as a powerful obstacle to their feelings for what had seemed an unending time. Sam had admired, respected and loved Jack for so many years that it was almost too hard to recall a time in her life when she had not.

That love would remain with her until her dying day - always - and something about that notion made her smile. It was as if Jack reached out to her from beyond the grave. She could feel his touch, the whisper of his breath on her neck and his softly spoken words of love. The thought that he was watching over her, continuing to care for and protect her, calmed her. It always would.

_The story continues:_

Caressing the eagle and the blue fabric of his old uniform lovingly, like an old treasure, Sam recalled the first time she ever saw Jack. He wore such a uniform, maybe this very one. A smile flittered across her lips. God, he looked so handsome that he quite took her breath away. She was nervous enough at the prospect of meeting Colonel Jack O'Neill, the man who would become her new commanding officer, and stepping through her beloved Stargate for the first time.

Young Captain Sam Carter had heard things about Colonel Jack O'Neill, plenty. After all, she had worked on the Stargate Project back in DC. One could not help but hear things about the first man who stepped though an event horizon of a Stargate to set foot on another planet millions of light years away.

And Sam had been thinking of joining NASA if they would take her. Sheesh, who needed NASA? They had not known that then, of course. Back then, they believed the Stargate only accessed Abydos. They had no concept that a whole network existed, scattered over the galaxy and beyond. Sam tried her darnedest to prove there was more to the Stargate than most people imagined. She had all but given up the notion when the powers that be decided to transfer her to Cheyenne Mountain for that trip to Abydos.

Sam admired O'Neill from afar thinking it took a certain kind of courage, if not foolhardiness, to take that first step with no idea of what you might encounter on the other side of the wormhole. She admired and envied him. As a result, she was nervous about meeting him, desperately wanting to prove she was worthy to serve with him. Hammond might make it a command, but she needed Jack O'Neill to want her on his team.

The young Captain expected some flack, so was prepared for it, but she did not expect to find herself so immediately attracted to him. He was achingly handsome and it caught her off guard. Her disappointment at his comments about women and scientists threw her for a loop and she made an ass of herself. Comments about reproductive organs being on the inside and not the outside, and suggesting they arm wrestle, among other plainly ridiculous things, for crying out loud! Not at all the first impression she wanted to make. Jack must have thought her a fool.

Indeed, she had acted foolishly. Sam did not listen to someone who knew what to expect because she was way too cocky about her preparedness for the mission, and determined to prove herself to the seemingly arrogant O'Neill. Or at least, she considered him arrogant because of their exchange, and that impression of him disenchanted her. On later reflection, however, Sam realized she had been the truly arrogant one. Oh, the self-assurance of youth. She could have kicked her own ass from Colorado all the way back to DC.

It was such a simple thing that rapidly reinstated her admiration for him. After they stepped through the wormhole, she felt so sick. She was cursing herself for interrupting the advice the colonel had been about to impart at the briefing, and for trying to be a know-it-all smartass. Sam expected him to make some kind of sarcastic comment about scientists or women not being up to the task of wormhole travel, or snotty nosed Captain/Doctors who should not be so overconfident. However, he did no such thing. Instead, he simply patted her on the shoulder sympathetically and mumbled something about eating a big lunch. His tone had been jokey, sure, but also seemed genuine.

She liked that he did not say I told you so, particularly as Sam knew she well deserved his disapprobation. But Jack rose above the petty and, with that small gesture of support, took the first step on the long and circuitous path that bound her to him forever. Bound them both together, actually, and Sam reminded herself she should never lose sight of that.

Her husband was a great team leader and CO. Sam truly enjoyed working with him over the years, and learned a lot from him. She respected him probably far more than he ever realized. Sure, he had faults, but they all did.

Jack was a master of strategy and tactics and handled weapons with unerring and chilling accuracy, including his sometimes lethal hands. He knew how to make best use of the resources he had, including the members of his team. He was acutely intelligent, even if he tried to hide it, and certainly streetwise. His special ops training stood all of them in good stead many times.

Although Jack's sarcastic humor could get him into trouble, he would use it to draw attention from his team and toward him, trying to distract their enemies to save his team at his expense - a brave and daring man. His humor also brought each of them hope where there might have been despair, and his determination and belief that they would survive against the odds often saved them.

How could she fail to fall for a man like that, flaws and all? How she resisted the impulses of her feelings for so many years still astonished her even now.

Leaning further toward the uniform she caressed so fondly, Sam buried her nose in the fabric, inhaling and imagining she could smell Jack's scent lingering in its weave. Of course, she knew this was likely to be nonsense. Jack had not worn the uniform for years. Nevertheless, she believed she could smell him, maybe borne from an ingrained memory of his masculine aroma.

Pulling the jacket off its hanger, she held it to her breast and face, moving away from the closet with it clutched in her hands and sitting down to sway back and forth in the chair. She clasped it as if the jacket was her husband made flesh again.

"Oh, Jack," she sobbed, "I miss you so much," and the tears she believed she had staunched earlier started up yet again, along with that small kernel of resentment that he had left her alone.

She tried to suppress the anger and embrace the sorrow. Sam did not wish to be angry with her husband, or bitter, although she realized she probably would be for a very long time. This was not Jack's fault. Nevertheless, she still resented him and her loss.

Jack was the one real love of her life and Sam knew she had never truly known what love was until he taught her, despite her dalliances with other men before they had finally been able to commit to each other. She believed herself to have been in love, sure, but Sam quickly learned to know better once she allowed her love for Jack to flourish. It took them a long time to get there, way too long, but their marriage was worth the wait. Those years were pure gold.

Putting the jacket to one side, she rose from her chair and wandered over to the closet again, pulling out handfuls of Jack's clothes and tossing them on the bed. Then she started to pick up individual items and hold them close, pondering the different memories that assailed her with each one.

Gasping aloud when she picked up one of his old sweaters, she recalled he had been wearing it when… it reminded her of the only time in their lives together that they had come even remotely close to breaking up. If things had been different… it did not bear thinking about, nevertheless, Sam contemplated it.

They had good sex lives throughout most of their married lives but, of course, as they aged there came a time when their love life slowed. The sex and the aftermath became increasingly infrequent, but the cuddles rarely seemed to diminish. Touch was a constant means of communication, a way of emphasizing love when other, more strenuous physical activity, could not.

There was an exceptional period, however, when this had not been so. In fact, both physical and verbal communication and contact became almost non-existent. Jack shut Sam out almost completely and she had no clue as to why, only guesses that became increasingly pessimistic in the absence of knowledge. She felt rejected, unwanted and hurt.

They argued quite a lot during that terrible phase. Over time, the tension between them worsened and they hardly spoke a kind word, or touched each other with the affection they once shared. Indeed, sharing anything seemed to be a thing of the past. All Sam could see ahead was a bleak and increasingly destructive future. Their marriage was spiraling out of control.

She was heartbroken, believing the man she loved so intensely had stopped loving her. The unthinkable had happened and there seemed to be no way to talk to him about it or communicate her sense of loss.

That was until, one day, Jack returned home earlier than expected and walked in on Sam packing her clothes. He was wearing the sweater then, just returned into the warmth of their house from the bitter cold of winter outside.

Standing in the doorway, stunned, he watched her packing silently for a while. Sam knew he was there but said nothing, irritably throwing clothes all over the place.

"Going somewhere?" he asked. His tone of voice was so low and quiet that she could barely hear the words, but it was his manner of speaking that made her listen more intently. She sensed despair and turned to face him, fury and pain welling up and making tears brim under her lids.

"We need a break."

"You're moving out?" he croaked, his tone indicating great pain and shock. Jack stood so still that this was something else that drew her attention. Stillness in Jack was a rarity and begged for attention. Clasping her hands together in front of her to stop from fidgeting, she hesitated before responding.

"I-I… um… we're falling apart, Jack."

He sucked in a jagged breath, obviously overwhelmed but without a clue as to how he should respond. The expression on his face spoke of so much heartache and sorrow that Sam was not sure he needed words, although he found them eventually.

"Y-you can't leave me, Sam." He missed a please, the plea, but it was clearly there in his voice and demeanor.

She might have snapped back at him, responding with something sarcastic and cruel like "Oh, can't I? That's what you think", but she did not. Sam did not want to leave him, still loved her husband very much and had no real desire to hurt him.

Her own acute pain, however, had led her along this dreadful path. It seemed to her that they had stopped communicating on almost every level and this became unbearable and suffocating. She needed to breathe once again, to have time to contemplate. And, perhaps, she wanted to shock him into action, to do almost anything to break the deadlock between them.

"I'm not leaving you," she countered, keeping her voice as even as possible considering the circumstances. Sam had no desire to burn her bridges. She desperately wanted a way out, a way back into his heart, to return to the wonderful relationship they had once shared. She did not know if that was possible, or if it was what Jack wanted, but she yearned for it nevertheless. "I just need to get away… just a few days. I need some time to think. You don't seem to want me. We do nothing but argue. Either that or we don't talk at all."

"Please, don't go," he said now, and she cracked, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You think this is what I want? It's not, but recently…" She tailed off uncertainly.

"You were just going to go? Say nothing?" His voice held fear and heartache when she might have expected rage.

Sam nodded mutely, feeling guilty, just as she should for considering such an option. A phrase about final straws and camels' backs came to mind, but Sam knew she was doing the wrong thing in the wrong way. How could she have thought…? No courage, perhaps.

What surprised her most was his total lack of anger. This was one reason she considered leaving without a word. Jack had been so angry lately, virtually all the time. She tried so hard but her efforts seemed fruitless.

"If-if that's what you want then…" he started calmly, but she could see from his expression that he did not really mean that. He did not want her to go and looked devastated that she might. Sam was surprised he showed it, did not even attempt to blank it out like she had seen him do so many times before. His agony was plainly there to see.

"I don't," she replied. Jack made it seem so simple but she knew it was far from that and wondered what he was thinking about the why. He still had not moved. Only his breath and the expression on his face gave any indication that he was a living being rather than a man of stone.

Sam was furious but tried to stifle it to meet his calm and quiet manner. She did not want another monumental row. She wanted to know what was wrong with her husband, why he had been acting so un-Jack like. Eventually, she summoned enough composure to speak without rancor.

"Have you been having an affair?" she asked bluntly, something that had gone through her mind many times, but remained unvoiced. Jack looked horrified.

"What? No, of course not!" he denied emphatically, anger surfacing at last as he reeled from such an accusation. "Why would you think…?" he started but realized he knew why, so did not finish and his anger subsided back into the sorrowful calm that was even more disturbing.

Antagonism, Sam could deal with, but this… this seemingly cool composure was harder, way harder. "Then why, Jack? What's wrong with you? Why have you been so…?"

"Angry?" he interrupted with exactly the word she was going to choose. Anger was only half of it. He had been distant too, and realized his wife felt rejected, pushed away. That was his fault for being dishonest and not wanting to face the truth. He feared the consequences of the truth, but now he had no choice.

She nodded and he moved at last, a hand scrubbing through his unruly hair. He could not look at her and his eyes meandered elsewhere, then he stepped forward slightly, trying to swallow his pride and summon the guts to tell her.

Sam waited, knowing he was faltering, but giving him ample opportunity to find the words he sought. When they came, they were few. Two words, quietly and desperately uttered, that told her almost everything, although Sam could hardly believe it.

"I-I'm impotent," he stated, voice filled with desperation. She stared at him wordlessly for a moment, open mouthed with astonishment.

"Wh…? No, Jack, that's insane. You can't…" she started when she found her voice, stopping dead, knowing her denial did not help. So this was why he had rejected her, why he had stopped trying to make love to her and stopped communicating?

With this knowledge, everything suddenly fell into place and Sam could not have been more stunned, and ashamed. This was not about her, as she selfishly supposed, it was about Jack - about fear, denial, pretence and shattered self-esteem. Understandably, such attacks on his manhood made him morose and lose confidence. Then, humiliated by his failure like many men in a similar situation, Jack tried to hide his dysfunction and feelings from her.

"My god, are you sure?" It was such an absurd question that she could have kicked herself for asking it. Of course, this was what he believed, that much was obvious, no matter what the truth might be.

He did not seem to notice her inanity and shrugged helplessly. "Well I haven't been able to-to… you know… I can't…"

Sam realized how difficult this confession must be for a man who had always been virile and active. Pride alone would have made it hard on him, and Jack could be very unforthcoming about intimate, private things, a habit he tried to break, but it was not always possible. She should not even expect it to be possible.

"I-I… I wish you'd said something. There's lots of things… you should have said," she stammered.

"I couldn't," he replied in a hoarse voice, the lump in his throat audible. He was on the verge of cracking.

Still Jack could not look his wife in the eye, and he had not really explained much, but she knew. Moving toward him, Sam threw her arms around him and clung tightly. For a few moments, he remained unmoving and then slowly wound his arms around her too, and they swayed together, gripping each other desperately.

"I'm sorry," he said in a tone of total defeat that Sam found alarming. He seemed so fragile, something she was unused to with her husband. Sam was not certain what he was apologizing for, his behavior, his lack of openness, or his impotence problem. It hardly mattered now she knew what he feared, what had driven them apart. "I don't want to lose you, Sam. I can't..." The words were obviously heartfelt, a truly honest and open expression of feeling.

It broke her heart that she had hurt him so, that it had come to this. Sam wished she had been able to talk to him and get him to open up earlier, before taking the drastic step she had been about to take. The plain fact was that she had been unable to. She was not sure whose fault that really was. Blame and recrimination was fruitless. They had to deal with the problem and move on.

"God, Jack, you won't. I just wish you could have told me. There are ways… things we can do. You're my husband. I'm here for you. You should have known that."

"I- thought if I told you… I might lose you. It seems not speaking up was way worse." His tone was ironic, fitting that situation.

"You think I'd leave you because of that?" It pained her to realize he had believed it, but now was not the time to say so. He needed assurances, not accusations. "I love you Jack. There's more to us than sex."

"I know, but I never was the brightest bulb in the box. I told you you'd married a dumb ass."

Loosening her grip, she pulled away and hastily swept everything that she had strewn over the bed onto the floor, sitting and reaching out her hand to him.

"C'mere," she said, echoing an expression he had used so many times when she had needed comfort. Hesitantly, he moved forward. "Come on, lie down with me. Hold me."

Jack bit his bottom lip, tilting his head in a brief nod of agreement, and then lay down with her and they held each other, not even attempting anything else. Sam wanted to, knew Jack could always find other ways to satisfy her than straightforward lovemaking. She would like to have tried to do something for him. Fearing failure, however, she did not, needing to know more about his dysfunction first. Disappointment might make things worse in the short term.

This situation must be very frustrating for him, Sam realized. She had missed making love so badly and probably Jack had too. But he was very good with his hands and mouth – no denying it – though none of that resolved his issues, only her sexual frustration. However much she wanted and needed him, right now this was what he needed; to know she loved him and that sex was not the most important part of their lives together.

This turned into one of those rare occasions when Jack spilled his guts to her. He admitted his regret and fear about the age difference between them, which hardly seemed an issue before. He believed he could not keep up with a younger wife, that he was too old and past his prime. Sam knew this was nonsense, although she never said as much in so many words. The last thing Jack needed right then was to think she was dismissive of his fears.

Impotence in older men normally occurs because the deterioration of their blood vessels means the blood fails to reach that part of their body effectively enough, although there can be other causes. The problem might sometimes be temporary, but the damage to a man's self-respect might have wreaked havoc by then, and too many give up trying, or try to hide it from their partners, just as Jack did.

Merely being older was not the problem, not in itself. What Jack did not realize was that around seventy percent of men can still function at the age of seventy or beyond, and he was way younger than that. But he believed the dysfunction was something to do with his age and that was that. Sam, of course, did the research. There was no way was she giving up, or letting Jack do so.

She tried to encourage him and bolster his ego, but he was discouraged and depressed, believing that he could not be a proper husband without providing what he thought of as real sex.

Sam went out of her way to make it fun to try with a few sexual toys intended to harden and sustain. Most of all, however, she made it clear that she still loved and respected him, that his problem had not diminished him in her eyes, or her feelings toward him. That was more important than anything in helping get their relationship back on track.

As it turned out, Jack's dysfunction was not age related in the least. He had been suffering from high blood pressure and his medication caused the problem. Unlike many couples who went through this predicament, they were lucky. Simply changing the prescription corrected his dysfunction. So, their sex lives returned to normal, although they continued to use the toys, which added a bit of piquancy to their already spicy sex lives.

Her earlier tears now dried, and still clutching the sweater that invoked the memories, Sam smiled as she ran her fingers over its woolen surface and remembered. Sure, they had less sex as they aged, who didn't? That was natural, although they continued to have sex regularly for most of the remainder of their marriage, with Jack performing normally most of the time.

She still shuddered at the notion that sex, or lack of it, had come so close to tearing them apart. It was not really the sex, of course, but the absence of intimacy, affection and effective communication that caused the problem. After that, Jack never made the same mistake again; the error of shutting Sam out, thrusting her away, not confiding. However hard that could be for him, he tried even harder to keep her close because their marriage was worth the effort, worth fighting for. After that, he never gave up again.

Deliberately, Sam pulled herself back to the present and realized she had been daydreaming or reminiscing about Jack for hours. She imagined him berating her for that, and telling her to get on with her life, but he remained a huge part of her life, even if he was no longer physically there. It might be upsetting to remember, but the memories were also a comfort. So many of them were good ones.

She could invoke him at a whim, it seemed - his scent, his touch, his smile, his voice. Although these recollections were mere phantoms, they seemed very real to Sam, and she was grateful for them.

The thoughts of phantoms prompted her to consider reality. Getting up from her chair, she went to the phone and called Daniel and Vala, yearning for the consolation of their company, and pleased they were around to provide it. Jack probably would have said something about hating it when Daniel was right, and that thought made Sam smile.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Enduring Time

Title: Enduring Time Chapter 7

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Sometimes it feels good to share with a close and dear friend. Sometimes it doesn't take much to warm frozen hands and cheer a desolate heart.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this fic and putting up with my idiosyncrasies. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 7**

_Previously:_

Deliberately, Sam pulled herself back to the present and realized she had been daydreaming or reminiscing about Jack for hours. She imagined him berating her for that, and telling her to get on with her life, but he remained a huge part of her life, even if he was no longer physically there. It might be upsetting to remember, but the memories were also a comfort. So many of them were good ones.

She could invoke him at a whim, it seemed - his scent, his touch, his smile, his voice. Although these recollections were mere phantoms, they seemed very real to Sam, and she was grateful for them.

The thoughts of phantoms prompted her to consider reality. Getting up from her chair, she went to the phone and called Daniel and Vala, yearning for the consolation of their company, and pleased they were around to provide it. Jack probably would have said something about hating it when Daniel was right, and that thought made Sam smile.

_The story continues:_

The grief stricken Sam valued the unwavering support Daniel and Vala had provided since Jack's death. Unsurprisingly, Jack's loss hit her hard and the consolation of such dear friends proved essential. Although Sam knew she had to learn to cope with his death on her own, having a shoulder or two to lean on in her bleakest moments helped keep her sane.

The couple had surprised her by renting a cabin nearby so they could see her through this heartbreaking time. Sam wanted time to mourn by herself, to lament and rant and rave as she chose, to adjust to the gut wrenching, soul destroying aloneness.

So, at first, she was concerned Daniel and Vala would intrude too much, try to take over her life. This was before she inadvertently stumbled across such a clear demonstration of Daniel's grief that she realized how much they needed each other - that sharing the sorrow and emptiness might help them both heal.

Daniel had been such a rock in supporting her since Jack's loss that it was easy to forget he must be broken hearted as well. The two men had been close, despite their many differences – like brothers or occasionally even like father and son, despite that Jack was not actually old enough to be Daniel's dad.

Sam was disappointed with herself for being so self-absorbed that she failed to truly consider Daniel's feelings. She should not, however, have been disappointed or surprised. As a grieving widow she had a right to be egocentric. Jack was her husband, her greatest love. She had always loved him and had never stopped – never would. Inevitably, Sam was miserable, feeling so sorry for herself that considering others was not at the forefront of her mind during those first days after his loss.

While she sat waiting for Daniel and Vala to arrive, Sam recalled the day shortly after Jack's funeral when she had first realized the depth of Daniel's grief and need. That bright but chilly day, Teal'c, Vala and Daniel went for a walk in the woods near the cabin, or so Sam thought. She wanted to be alone so did not join her friends, although she enjoyed walking among the trees, having frequently done so both with her husband and alone.

The woodland took on a different character and form with every season, each of its changes beautiful in their own unique way. Sam loved the diverse greens of the trees in late spring and summer, and the different shades of browns, oranges, reds and yellows in the fall. In winter, the starkness of the bare deciduous varieties could be eerie but gloriously regal. When snow lay on the ground and covered their branches, the light would take on a unique tone, and the place could become almost picture book in quality. Spring brought forth buds, which would slowly reach up and unfurl into those diverse greens again. She loved all of these moments.

On some of their many walks together, Jack would regale her with stories of the youth he had spent in this place. He might point to the dilapidated remains of the tree house in which he had played with friends, for example, amusing her with recollections of their fantasies and antics. Or he might indicate other landmarks of his past and reveal small tidbits of his youth.

In balmy weather, the young Jack had often set up camp in those woods and stayed out all night. He had fallen from the branches of one tree and broken his arm, running home in tears. His first real kiss had occurred under a different tree and he had believed himself to be in love. Once, he and his friends had come close to starting a forest fire and his mom grounded Jack for a week.

Sam loved listening to these revelations, learning about Jack's past. He had many good memories of those years and now Sam did too, both those he divulged to her and those they had shared.

When younger, and made of sturdier stuff, Jack and Sam had sometimes made love in those woods, overlooked by wildlife but undisturbed by human souls. Jack would carry a blanket, choosing a secluded spot deep within the tall ancient trees under which to unfold it and seduce her. They were wonderful times.

Until she spied him from the window, Sam was under the mistaken impression Daniel was walking in the woods with Vala and Teal'c. Instead, he was perched on the end of the dock with his feet dangling above the freezing water. His presence there on such a cold day was puzzling, and Sam grew worried when she realized he was not wearing an overcoat. So she pulled on a warm jacket and picked up his coat, slinging it over her arm. Then she ventured outside, shivering as she left the warmth of the cabin and the frigid air hit her.

Daniel did not seem to hear her approaching and as she got closer Sam was shocked to hear him sobbing softly. The peace and quiet carried the sound to her ears from a few yards away. She paused in her step to consider whether she was intruding, then purposefully made her way forward because she was his friend and Sam believed friends should be there for each other.

"Daniel?" she said as she drew near and he turned briefly, his features filled with sorrow.

"Leave me alone," he said, sounding a little like a petulant child.

"I don't think so," she replied, her tone reminding him of Jack. As she sat down next to him, he said nothing, turning his face away as if he did not want her to see his tear streaked cheeks. "What is it Daniel?" she asked, wishing he would face her.

"You don't listen do you? I said leave me alone," he replied irritably.

"Pot and kettle," she commented because Daniel was not a person who would simply leave things be either. He grunted a response. "Talk to me. I'm your friend."

He took a deep breath and turned toward her, eyes reddened with tears, and looking embarrassed as well as upset. "I didn't want you to see me like this, Sam."

She frowned, genuinely puzzled. "Why not?"

Daniel made a humph noise in his throat. "Because… just because."

If Daniel had not been so upset, Sam night have been amused by his child like tone. "What, you're a man and men shouldn't cry?" she said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. Daniel frequently wore his heart on his sleeve, so she was surprised by his reticence.

He almost chuckled at her comment, brightening slightly and thinking maybe sitting there talking to Sam could be a good thing after all.

"Jack would probably call me a wimp," he said.

"Jack cried – sometimes," responded Sam, daring to place a hand on Daniel's shoulder and squeeze it gently. He didn't shrug it off, which she thought was a good sign.

"He did?" Daniel seemed shocked. He sniffed and reached into his pocket for a tissue, blowing his nose.

"Rarely, admittedly. He didn't like it either. He never wanted anyone to see. Mostly he must have agonized and cried inside, but very occasionally…" She tailed off, sighing and thinking those rare occasions were Jack's definitive demonstration of total trust in her.

Daniel nodded thoughtfully. "That's not why. I always was a wimp so nothing's changed," he said self-deprecatingly, a half smile on his lips. "But I'm supposed to be here for you, not the other way around."

Suddenly Sam thought she understood. Daniel was trying to be strong for her in her moment of need and did not want to show his weakness.

"Is it Jack?" she asked and Daniel nodded again, this time in agreement.

"I can't believe he's gone. I'm gonna miss him so much."

"You and me both."

"Yeah."

She said nothing at first, instead proffering the coat she still held over her arm. He smiled weakly and took it from her, throwing it over his shoulders. "Thanks," he said.

She waited a moment for him to settle before speaking again. "You shouldn't feel ashamed of grief, Daniel."

"I'm not, it's just… you need me to be strong." His words confirmed her suspicions. "I've been trying so hard… I've been so worried about you that-that… I haven't had time to think about how I feel. I guess I haven't wanted to think. It-it's only just sinking in."

"Oh Daniel, c'mere," she whispered, echoing Jack, then wrapping an arm around him and pushing his head onto her shoulder and softly stroking his hair. "I know you loved him too. Just cry if you need to. If that's what it takes to mourn, then do it. We should be here for each other. It isn't a one way street."

Sam could feel tears welling up in her own eyes, realizing she should shrug off the notion that Daniel and Vala were going to be an intrusion into her grief. Daniel needed her as much as she needed him. They should mourn Jack's loss together. It was the right thing to do.

Daniel snaked an arm around Sam. They did not speak for a long time and neither of them shed any tears, but they both took comfort from each other's embrace.

"If Jack could have seen me earlier he'd have laughed his ass off," Daniel commented eventually.

"No he wouldn't."

"You think not?"

"Yeah."

Daniel shivered and drew away, pulling the coat on and groping in its pockets for a pair of gloves. They were missing and he swore under his breath, glancing at Sam. She grasped one of his hands, which was icy cold.

"I think we'd better continue this inside," she said getting up and tugging his hand gently to encourage him to follow. Sam did not know how long he had been out there before she spotted him, but probably too long in such a chill. They were both old and the elderly require warmth.

He grimaced. "I guess you're right."

"You can drink a warming brandy or two while I heat some soup. You need to thaw out."

"Probably," he agreed and they started toward the cabin until Daniel paused in his step. Sam eyed him curiously. "I just wanted to mourn my friend alone, say goodbye, you know? That's why I came out here to the dock."

She nodded understanding. "I get it, but we could do this together. If you're hanging around Minnesota for me, then let me be here for you too. Mutual support is good."

He said nothing and started walking again. When they got inside, Sam led him to a chair by the fire in the living room.

"Get yourself warm. I'll pour that brandy and put some soup on the stove."

Jack and Sam made the cabin their home and refurbished the place when they moved there permanently. During more infrequent visits, some of the less comfortable and quaint things about the cabin had not seemed to matter. Once they decided to move, Sam persuaded Jack they needed some luxury in their lives.

Thus, they extended the place, making it much larger and more visitor friendly, and they changed the furnishings to the cozier comfy kind. They stripped and replaced the kitchen, equipping it with more modern appliances. Sam wanted an easy retirement after the long years of hard work, and Jack did not take much persuading to fall in with her plans.

The couch and chairs they had purchased were the adjustable kind you could sink into and relax, covered in lushly soft dark brown leather, and Daniel sat on one of these chairs now. Cold, he took no immediate advantage of the chair's more luxurious features.

The chair's cushions were plump with soft filling. The back could tilt to a horizontal position and it had a built in footrest which extended to fit even the tallest of people. A lever on the side easily accessed all of these features. So comfortable were the chairs that one could easily sleep in their welcoming embrace. But Daniel sat on the edge of his as close to the fire as he could get, warming his frozen fingers.

When Sam returned shortly, she passed him the drink and sat on the couch opposite with one of her own. She was willing to talk all he wanted, or just sit quietly. Whatever it took.

It was not long before he returned to the subject of Jack. Now she had started him off, it seemed he needed to get some things off his chest. That pleased Sam. They could mourn, laugh or cry and become angry and frustrated together. Maybe it would help both of them.

"We were friends for a long time," he said, staring into the fire and watching its flames dance and flicker. Real log fires can be alluring, if not downright hypnotizing. "Damn it, he was my best friend! Who'd have thunk?" he added with a small smile to himself.

Sam smiled too at his use of a Jack like phrase. It was true that the two men were strange bedfellows, but circumstances had flung them together when in any other life they might never have become friends. That bonding was hard to break even if you wished to.

"A very long time," she echoed but she wasn't certain Daniel heard.

"Funny, isn't it? Jack and I were like chalk and cheese, but…" He trailed off thoughtfully. Theirs had been a peculiar kind of friendship, but a true one.

"Yeah. Actually, you always seemed more Laurel and Hardy to me," she said with a grin and Daniel laughed.

"Which one of us was which?" he enquired, glancing at her with an arched eyebrow.

"I'll let you figure that one out," she retorted with a smirk.

Simultaneously, they paused to sip their drinks, the warming liquid sliding down their throats with ease. Warmer now, Daniel sank back in the cozy chair, adjusting it so the back tilted slightly and the foot rest sprang out. Sam noted the small smile that curled up the corners of his lips and wrinkled his eyes.

"I so love these chairs. Vala and I should get a couple," he said with a contented sounding sigh.

"They are probably the most expensive single items of furniture we ever bought," she commented with a smile, "but sooo worth it."

Daniel fell silent for a while, nursing the remains of his brandy by turning the glass in his hands. "He could drive me nuts," he said suddenly and Sam looked over to him and nodded, but he remained distracted by the fire, so missed the acknowledgement.

"Sure," she agreed. "He could drive everyone nuts." Jack O'Neill could sometimes be the most infuriating and frustrating person in the world, she thought, but he made up for it in so many other ways. There was something about him. Sam did not know what it was, but just something indefinable. Charisma perhaps.

"I know I could make him crazy too," Daniel said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Yes you could. Back when we were SG-1, you two could chip away at each other all day and drive the rest of us crazy too, even the usually stoic Teal'c." She smiled wistfully at the memory.

"Did we?" he said, raising his eyes to meet hers.

"Sometimes. Actually, now I think of it, even after SG-1 you two continued to do it." She tossed back her drink, placing the empty glass on the small table at the side of the couch.

Daniel sniggered and rolled his eyes. "All of our lives. We were so different, and he never could take me seriously."

She peered at him curiously, not certain if he really believed that or not. Maybe he did, but it was not true.

"He listened to you more than you ever knew," she countered and he gesticulated with a dismissive hand.

"He never listened to me!" he declared emphatically.

"That's crap. He admired you, Daniel, respected you."

His expression was disbelieving. "Didn't seem that way."

"Well, you know Jack. He never made it easy to read him, and sometimes what we saw was what he wanted us to see, not what he held in his heart."

Daniel snorted with frustration and then nodded, shrugging. "I know," he said and a smile appeared on his face, "but he could be such an asshole."

Sam tittered. Daniel was right about that one, but it had never stopped either of them loving him in their own different ways. "Yes he could, but he was our kind of asshole," she replied.

He grinned, but it faded quickly and he appeared reflective. Saying nothing for a while, he seemed to stare off into space. Then he swiftly finished his drink but continued holding the glass and turning it in his hands.

"So how come we all loved him, huh?" he asked abruptly looking toward her. When she responded, Sam's demeanor was jokingly mocking as she widened her eyes, looked at him as if he were stupid, and waved her hands in a gesture that seemed to convey the answer was obvious.

"Duh! Because he was Jack O'Neill, for crying out loud!"

Daniel laughed outright at her comical tone. It felt good sitting there with Sam trying to cheer him up. "So that explains it?" he said, his own expression humorously incredulous.

"Amazingly, yes." She winked at her friend. "Although I suppose I could be accused of bias."

"Yes, I suppose you could," he replied with a grin. "Not sure I can remember a time when we actually agreed about anything..."

Sam raised a hand to halt him and sniffed the air. "Hold that thought. I'd better check the soup."

She got up and Daniel decided to follow her out to the kitchen. "Smells good," he said.

"Home made. I made it yesterday, so it just needed reheating." Sam was leaning over the pot of soup, stirring, and she lifted the spoon to her mouth to taste it. "Mmmm. Perfect. Here." She ladled some soup into a bowl and handed it to Daniel with some bread on a plate. Go, sit," she ordered, waving him over to the table. Then she served some soup for herself and joined him.

Daniel sipped a spoonful of soup and made an appreciate noise. "Delicious."

Sam was delighted. "I remember the first time Jack and I created that soup."

Daniel looked at her with surprise. "Jack and you? Jack never cooked. Neither did you."

"Yeah, well that's our TEI soup," she said with a grin, forming the initials into a word rather than enunciating them separately.

"Thai? Doesn't taste very Thai," he said dubiously. It tasted good, but not anything like he would expect from Thai food.

"Not Thai, TEI," she explained, which did nothing to illuminate Daniel's understanding. He saw a wicked glint in her eye and knew she was teasing but did not get the joke.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked good-humouredly, sipping another spoonful of the soup and Sam laughed.

"Throw everything in – TEI." This time she spelled out the initials.

Daniel stared at her in disbelief, his spoon hovering over the bowl, and then he laughed.

"You mean you make it up as you go along?"

"Something like that, yeah." He noticed her eyes drift off into a dreamlike state, knew she was remembering, and waited for her to elucidate. "Jack and I could be hopeless about shopping for food," she started after a lengthy pause. "So, one time when we were staying here we just threw everything we had into a pot – leftover vegetables, a little bacon, a few cold chicken scraps, tomatoes, whatever – added stock cubes and water and hey presto…"

"TEI soup," he finished for her.

"That's about it. Jack coined the phrase. You know what he could be like. It became a one of those little private jokes, know what I mean?" Daniel nodded, knowing exactly what she meant because he and Vala shared plenty of those. Sam chuckled and shrugged. "At the time we were pretty hysterical with laughter. I guess you had to be there."

Daniel smiled, tucking into the soup and bread with gusto. Sam followed suit, but he could see she had drifted into private thoughts and wondered what she was thinking.

"Penny for 'em," he said and she started, looking up at him with a huge grin.

"Can't go there. You really do not want to know what else we got up to that night."

In fact, Jack had snuck up behind her as she was stirring the soup, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the back of her neck. His hands snaked up to her breasts and he started to seduce her. They had ended up making love right there on the kitchen table, where she and Daniel now sat eating. They never ate the soup that night. Neither of them was bothered about eating in the face of other preoccupations. But it tasted surprisingly good the next day.

"TEI soup," Daniel said, bringing her back to the present day. He laughed. "You know something, Sam? Sometimes you can be just as much of an asshole as Jack."

She met his eyes and saw the mirth in them. "Of course. A match made in heaven," she said with a wicked grin and Daniel rolled his eyes.

"I guess," he replied, meeting her smirk with one of his own.

After that, they had more soup and bread, eating in silence, until Sam spoke again.

"He loved you too, Daniel. Believe me. Every time you were injured, went missing, ascended, died… you could see it in his eyes. No matter how much you two disagreed about anything, how much you irritated him… it was always there." Daniel did not respond, but she could see her words pleased him. "Feeling better?" she asked.

He knew she was not referring to thawing out from the cold. She was talking about his grief.

"Yeah," he replied, smiling.

"Me too."

And they both were, for now. Sure, they would have ups and downs while they grieved. That is the way of things when you lose someone you love. But sometimes it feels good to share with a close and dear friend. Sometimes it doesn't take much to warm frozen hands and cheer a desolate heart.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Author's notes: Many thanks to ImmerRDA for her helpful suggestions and corrections. Any remaining errors are entirely mine. Also, thanks to those of you who have been reading, enjoying and feeding back. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Chapter Summary: Sam travels a very long way to visit an old friend

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

**Enduring Time: Chapter 8**

_Previously:_

"He loved you too, Daniel. Believe me. Every time you were injured, went missing, ascended, died… you could see it in his eyes. No matter how much you two disagreed about anything, how much you irritated him… it was always there." Daniel did not respond, but she could see her words pleased him. "Feeling better?" she asked.

He knew she was not referring to thawing out from the cold. She was talking about his grief.

"Yeah," he replied, smiling.

"Me too."

And they both were, for now. Sure, they would have ups and downs while they grieved. That is the way of things when you lose someone you love. But sometimes it feels good to share with a close and dear friend. Sometimes it doesn't take much to warm frozen hands and cheer a desolate heart.

_The story continues:_

Sam called in a few favors to make this trip happen. It was a long time since she had journeyed through the gate and the Air Force had been reluctant to let an old woman make such a trip on an apparent whim. Even if that old woman was General Samantha Carter/O'Neill (retired - long retired), a name still revered in many circles. She had contacts and used them.

Two armed escorts stood in front of her as the gate sprang into life and they walked up the ramp together. She paused at the top and smiled, running her fingers over the event horizon and remembering the first time she had ever stepped through. Jack had given her a little push as she had gushed about wormholes. No doubt he had rolled his eyes and wondered what kind of officer General Hammond had thrust on him as part of his team. It was one happy memory of many.

Recalling how sick she had felt that first time, she took the final step and followed the escort they had insisted should accompany her for protection and in case she needed them. When she exited at the other side, Sam exhaled the stale air of Cheyenne Mountain and took a deep breath of fresh, clean air, as she regarded their surroundings. She was far from sick this time around, had not been for years, but Sam felt exhilarated - alive and even a little younger. The feeling confirmed she had been right to come.

"It's this way, ma'am," said Major Andrews. He had been privileged to visit this planet once before and knew the way. The young major had received the dubious honor of informing the famous Jaffa warrior, Teal'c, of the death of his former team leader, General O'Neill. He had felt honored when allocated the task of meeting such a hero, albeit under such mournful circumstances. Now he was escorting another hero, General Carter, and was suitably awed.

"I hope he's home, ma'am," he added and she smiled. She was not expected and wanted to keep it that way. This meant Teal'c could not find an excuse to avoid her, which she suspected the wily Jaffa might otherwise do.

"He will be. And if he isn't we'll wait. He won't have gone far." Sam knew enough from what Teal'c had told her to have figured that one out.

"It's a bit of a walk, ma'am." His implication being was an old woman up to it?

"Don't worry about me, major. I'm up to it."

"I didn't mean any disrespect ma'am."

"It's alright, major. I know what you meant. It's your job to be protective."

He smiled. "Yes, ma'am."

"If we hang around here for a few days you might want to consider calling me Sam," she said and the young man's eyes widened with astonishment. "I haven't been a ma'am for a long time. I'm retired, major." The notion made her smile, remembering her husband, who had frequently referred to her as ma'am in jest. They had played that game long ago.

"I-I couldn't do that, General Carter."

"Retired, major, remember?" She paused to recall the major's first name. "Michael, isn't it? Mike?"

He smiled briefly before settling his face back into a neutral and respectful mode. "Um, yes ma'am. Mike."

"Then it's settled."

He did not look convinced, but Sam determined she would drum it into him eventually. Turning to look at her other escort, Lieutenant Small, a singularly inappropriate name for such a large man, she recalled his name was Denis.

"And that goes for you too, Denis," she said and he looked horrified, glancing at the Major with a pained expression.

"Y-yes ma'am," he replied agreeably, but Sam realized he would probably continue to call her ma'am or General Carter.

Sighing, she turned her attention back to their surroundings, thinking how young the two men looked. To her eyes, they seemed to be no more than kids. That was a sure sign of getting old. Getting old? She was old. However much she might wish not to be, there was no denying it.

There was no sign of anything around the gate that resembled a place of worship or greeting. Sam wondered about that, but not for long. Perhaps this was why these peaceful Jaffa had chosen it as home. It had nothing to indicate occupation by their former masters, or not in the immediate vicinity at least. Daniel might have made something of it, or not.

The clearing in which the gate stood opened out into forest one way and what appeared to be cultivated farmland the other. In the distance, beyond the farmland, were mountains with snow on their peaks, although the current season was obviously summery.

Bright blue skies dotted with fluffy clouds lay overhead, and the sun shone radiantly and warm, looking similar to the Earth's sky. She wondered about the moon or moons, seeming to recall Teal'c mentioning there were two of them. No doubt, the night sky was prettier as a result. She had missed such alien skies. Right now, the place looked very much like home. Sam hoped to find out about the moon for herself later, assuming she was welcome.

Of course, she did not expect Teal'c to send her packing, albeit that her visit was totally unexpected. He was way too polite for that. But Sam would determine the depth of his discomfort before deciding how to play it. She hoped to stay for a few days, if he was willing. It would be good to see him again and have his company for a while.

"Pretty here, isn't it?" Sam commented.

"Lots of trees, ma'am," Mike replied and Sam chuckled throatily.

"My husband made that same observation many times, Mike."

Mike Andrews looked pleased at that, and Sam smiled at him. He was captivated. Old as she was, she still had something about her, even to one as young as he was. The smile remained a winner after all these years, as were her intelligent, wily eyes.

Indicating they should move on, the Major took point, leading the way toward the forest with the Lieutenant following on their six.

Over the months since her husband's death, Sam's state of mind had swung up and down and back and forth like one of Jack's yo-yos. Anger was frequently right up there at number one in the emotion top twenty, but pain and devastation knocked it off its top spot many times.

Her rational side understood that this rollercoaster ride was a natural consequence of loss. Reactions to bereavement, however, are not necessarily rational. The anger could make her hate Jack for his abandonment and Sam did not like hating Jack. In all their years of working together and throughout their marriage, hatred was an alien feeling for her as far as he was concerned. She had been pissed with him many times, sure, but never that.

The anger and hatred were primal emotions, not based on reason. She could no more control them than she could bring her husband back from the dead. Many times, Sam wondered if she would spend the rest of her life on this rollercoaster, never reaching stable ground. How long could she continue both loving and hating Jack? Damn, it hurt!

Sam coped with being alone after Daniel and Vala returned to their normality, but that did not mean it had been easy. However, after a while she longed to seek the comfort of Teal'c. His silent strength kept her from toppling over in the days immediately after Jack's funeral and she yearned for that strength to compensate for her weaknesses.

So, Sam had called in those favors to make this trip happen, and here she was. Being a hero who had saved the planet on a regular basis, as well as the widow of one, had some advantages. As Sam and her escort made their way through the forest toward Teal'c's home, that notion made her smile. Today was a good day.

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Teal'c was stunned that she appeared so unexpectedly. It both pleased and disconcerted him to see her, but he kept his features carefully schooled in an expression that said little.

"Samantha," he said. "Is something wrong? Does Earth require my assistance?"

She shook her head and smiled. "No, Teal'c. And I can't say I was just passing, because I wasn't," she added with a wink, "but I wanted to see you." His glance moved briefly to the two escorts and then returned to her with look of query. "Don't worry about them. Oddly enough, they wouldn't let an old woman go wandering around on her own on a strange planet millions of light years away. Go figure."

Teal'c smiled in an amused manner and then bowed his head in deference. "I am honored," he replied, hiding the tumultuous emotions that raged through him. He was not sure how to interpret this unexpected arrival at his door.

Sam, meanwhile, had hoped for something more from the greeting, perhaps a friendly hug. While pondering that lack, she studied her surroundings. From what she could see from the doorway, his home seemed to be spartan but homely. Very Teal'c, she thought. A hero of his people he might now be, but it was so like him to eschew grandeur in favor of simplicity, just like Jack had. She did not doubt he had the opportunity to live more luxuriously if he so chose.

Teal'c's humble abode stood on the edge of the forest in a clearing that opened out to more homes scattered over the landscape and a wide and attractive vista. A way off, Sam could see the lake he had referred to and more cultivated land, then more forest in the distance, which appeared to be deliberate cultivation rather than wilder, like the one that had led them to his door.

This scattered community was the first sign of civilization the visitors had seen since stepping through the gate. Its sprawling nature probably said much for the kind of community they had, so not like a close-knit village, but many independent homesteads standing in their own plots of land. Sam noticed a larger structure in the distance and briefly wondered if that was a communal space for the homesteaders to meet up. No doubt, she would find out more if her visit lasted as she wanted it to.

It appeared the closest cabin to Teal'c's was situated a couple of acres away or more, so he seemed to have a large, widespread expanse on which to stamp his mark and do his own thing. Some of his land was cultivated with vegetable plots, and some with flowers like a garden. There was livestock too. They looked like chickens and goats, or something akin to them.

Curious though she was, and somewhat surprised to see Teal'c living this kind of lifestyle, despite what he had told her, she turned her full attention to her old friend. There should be enough time for revelation and discovery later. Sam could tell he was very happy to see her, although he tried to hide his excitement and she found that endearing as well as agreeable.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" she asked.

"Please accept my apologies. You have caught me unaware."

"Don't give me that. Nothing fazes you, Teal'c," she replied in a teasing tone that brought back some painful, though happy, memories to the Jaffa. "Not displeased, I hope."

"Indeed not." He smiled. "What of your escort?"

"We can settle down out here somewhere close by, if that's okay with you, sir. We'll be fine thanks," Mike piped up. "We've brought our own supplies."

"I can only assume MREs have not improved with time," Teal'c commented tartly with a small grimace, and the two air men nodded agreement. He turned to Sam. "Do you plan to stay a while?"

"If you'll have me," she replied. "I thought we might go fishing." She smirked, searching his face to look for any sign that she was intruding but finding none. Not that this meant much with Teal'c. He could be a difficult man to get a handle on.

"O'Neill would be satisfied with the skill I have acquired in that respect," Teal'c responded and she grinned. "Perhaps you need to set up camp, then?" he asked the escorts. "There is a comfortable and warm extension to this cabin behind, used for storage, but it might suffice better than a tent. You no doubt wish to scout the area and then you can take a look. I will provide some refreshment that is a distinct improvement on MREs and energy bars. Meanwhile, General Carter will be safe in my hands, I assure you."

The two men believed it, looking grateful, and disappeared off to scout the lay of the land. Then Teal'c stepped aside to let Samantha enter.

"It is not much," he added, feeling slightly abashed as she looked around the large room. To a Tauri used to so many comforts, he thought this place must appear to be a hovel. It was not dissimilar to the cabin Samantha inhabited in Minnesota on Earth, but was far more rudimentary.

The place did remind Sam of her cabin. It was built of wood like hers but, from what she could see, was more sparsely equipped and simpler. No electricity of course, but a large fireplace that seemed to double for cooking and heating water. There was little in the form of what might be called decoration.

The walls were adorned with furs and simple, plain fabrics; functional rather than attractive. No doubt intended to keep the heat in, like tapestries might in old castles back on Earth. Many candles and cushions decked out the space and the chairs looked well padded and comfortable. Teal'c indicated she should sit on one.

Sam could see there was more cabin beyond her current view and thought there might be a bedroom hidden somewhere. If she was very lucky, there might be two of them.

"I like it. Very you, Teal'c." He said nothing but was delighted she thought so. She still understood him and, for this, he was grateful. "Did you build the place yourself?" she asked.

"With some assistance, yes. It is simple, but enough."

"Is there more?"

"Another two rooms beyond," he replied as he sat down in a capacious chair opposite her smaller one. On Earth, his chair might have been considered large enough to be a two-seater couch. "One is rarely used. The Tauri would probably call it a spare bedroom, although it is nothing so grand. If you are staying, you shall take my room and I will sleep there."

"I don't want to be any trouble, Teal'c." She felt a little guilty that her visit would evict him from his usual home comforts and was about to say something when he replied.

"You could never be that," he said in a serious tone.

"I have to admit, the idea of sleeping in a tent does nothing for me these days." Her expression was rueful and he smiled.

"That I understand. Aging bones and muscles ache all too easily. I think you will find my bedroom to be more comfortable, but it is not what you are used to."

"I try to keep myself relatively fit, Teal'c, for an old Tauri woman." She noticed his smile broaden at her remark and could not help but grin. "I'll be fine, thanks. But I can't let you give up your bedroom for me. I will take that spare room." Her manner and tone were resolute, but he shook his head.

"Indeed, you will not," he responded with an attitude at least the equal to hers in determination. "I will not take no for an answer, as you Tauri might say."

Sam could see from his face that she would be unlikely to dissuade him. He stared at her until his slightly discomforting and penetrating gaze forced her to look down at her hands and fidget. Apparently, Teal'c felt obliged to play the gentlemen and she thought perhaps she should let him. No doubt, he would give her no choice in the matter.

"Okay, if you insist," she said eventually, looking up again to meet his eyes and smiling. The intractable look softened until his mouth turned upwards at the corners to match her smile and his eyes briefly twinkled with satisfaction.

Nodding acknowledgment, Teal'c hesitated, looking slightly perturbed before continuing to speak. "Washing facilities are rudimentary, I am afraid."

Amused by his embarrassment, Sam's smile turned into a broad grin. "I'm betting I've used worse," she said, briefly considering bathroom and toilet facilities she had known and loved off-world. Some of those would be difficult to beat for discomfort. Indeed, frequently they were non-existent.

"Perhaps I can offer you some refreshment?" he said, moving swiftly away from the subject.

She seemed to pause for a moment. "Maybe later."

"Then might I inquire as to how you have been keeping?"

Teal'c so wanted to feel at ease in Samantha's company, but was at a loss as to how to behave and react. Small talk, playing host in some way, were the only weapons he had at his disposal to fight his tumultuous and discombobulating emotions. They had spent so many years relaxed in each other's company that he found his uneasiness exacerbating the disquiet.

Of course, Teal'c was Teal'c and Sam would never have guessed from his expression or motionlessness that he felt like that. If Jack had been so still, she would have known immediately that something was disturbing him. Teal'c, however, appeared impassive much of the time so she was used to it. That same impassivity was one of the traits she sought from coming to visit him.

Sam eyed him affectionately. "I'm okay, considering."

"You still miss O'Neill." It was a statement rather than a question.

"Oh, Teal'c, I don't think that pain will ever go away," she responded with a catch in her throat. "I feel like something is missing, a part of me, like there's an empty space inside." He nodded acknowledgment of her words but said nothing, presumably waiting for her to elucidate if she wanted to.

"Daniel and Vala went home. They weren't nearly as much of a pain in the butt as I'd feared. It was great having them around, actually. They gave me some space, but were still there, you know?" Teal'c nodded again. "When they left, it was great at first, but… I'm lonely, Teal'c. I miss…" She sighed sorrowfully and Teal'c found her desolate tone perturbing. "So, here I am. I just thought…" She tailed off, uncertain of what to say.

"I told you that you would always be welcome in my home, Samantha. I am very happy to see you. We can keep each other company."

Teal'c said nothing of his own feelings of solitude. He did not wish to confess them, so had nothing to say. An almost irresistible impulse, however, made him stand and approach her. Crouching down in front of her, he raised a hand to her hair and started to stroke it softly. Sam smiled crookedly, in a way that reminded him somewhat of O'Neill.

"You never need to be alone," he whispered, and she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. Although Teal'c's heart raced and tempted him to pull away, he did not. Instead, he cradled her face against his, catching his breath at the touch and warmth of her skin against his. Not daring to move further in case he revealed more than he had intended, he tried to get a grip on his emotions.

Flustered by the small hint of what he was feeling, and uncertain how to react, for a while Sam remained motionless. When he gave no further sign, she decided Teal'c would not wish her to behave as anything other than herself. They were friends, right? She made this journey to seek the comfort of those strong arms just as friends should.

Saying nothing in reply to his statement about never needing to be alone, Sam embraced him and Teal'c let his hand drop from her cheek to hug her in response. His hope was that she had not caught his slip, that she had merely seen this as the gesture of friendship and consolation he had originally intended by approaching her. Fighting to control his breathing, he drew back, regarding her with a quizzically concerned look, as any friend might.

"I'm fine, Teal'c," she said reassuringly, squeezing his arm.

Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself and stood, pulling her up with him and leading her over to his somewhat larger chair. After encouraging her to sit upon it, he joined her and placed an arm around her shoulder. Smiling at him, Sam laid her head against his chest, taking one of his large hands in hers and settling down. The short moments that had seemed so fraught with difficulty and confusion for Teal'c had passed. At this very moment, he was simply happy to be her friend.

After a lengthy but companionable silence, Sam felt the need to strike up some conversation and this prompted a question.

"You live alone?" she asked. She'd always thought Teal'c would remarry but they had never discussed such a thing.

"I do."

"I'm surprised a beautiful Jaffa woman hasn't swept you off your feet. I'd guessed you might have settled down again by now." Briefly, Teal'c wondered if she was teasing him but he decided she was not.

"I have my family, they are enough." Truth be told, sometimes his family were not enough, but this was not something he could voice aloud. Like Samantha, Teal'c was lonely. Not always, but often enough.

"Your family? Ry'ac?" she queried and she felt his head nod.

"Ry'ac, my grand children and great grand children."

The statement startled her and Sam lifted her head to look at him in surprise.

"You're a great grandfather? Wow! That makes me feel old." She chuckled somewhat musingly. "What am I saying? I am old."

"As we both are. You do not appear to look old, Samantha."

Her nostrils flared slightly as she bit back a tart comment because Sam knew she did, but she toned down the words that wanted to spring from the tip of her tongue.

"Teal'c, you flatter me way too much. You must need glasses." Her expression told him she was skeptical.

"I most certainly do not," he retorted, and his huffy tone amused her. She did not rise to the bait, however, returning instead to the subject of his family.

"So Ry'ac isn't a warrior anymore? What, a farmer?" To Sam, this seemed a curious turn of events. Ry'ac had always longed to follow in his father's footsteps as a proud and strong warrior.

"Jaffa warriors are a dying breed. Ry'ac decided to give up the old ways and join me here. This is true freedom, the old ways are not."

"I think I understand, but it doesn't sound very Teal'c like," Sam replied contemplatively. He did not respond and she wondered if that subject made him feel uncomfortable. Clearly, much had changed for the Jaffa and she made a mental note to try and probe Teal'c further while she was there, if he would let her.

"So they live close by?" she asked, shifting the emphasis of the conversation.

"Indeed. No doubt, you will see him whilst you are here, and meet our family. They give me much joy and comfort in my old age, particularly the children."

Sam squeezed his hand encouragingly. "You're not so old for a Jaffa, are you?"

"Old enough that I feel it, Samantha," he replied seriously and, much to his surprise, she chuckled.

"So we're both a couple of old codgers who should probably be living in a retirement home, huh?" she retorted with the laughter still on her lips.

A wry smile came to Teal'c's face. "Indeed."

She beamed at him and he found his heart leaping again, admonishing himself that old men should not have the kind of thoughts that sprang to his mind. Those days were gone, were they not? Undoubtedly, Samantha would think so.

As she rested her head against his chest once again, Teal'c wished it was otherwise. However, he was virile no longer; only fit to welcome peace and death, which he believed would not be too long coming. The old Jaffa welcomed this respite, the chance to enjoy the pleasing company of Samantha once again before he died, and would content himself with that.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Enduring Time

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Teal'c felt sure she would see his emotions all too openly if he exposed those dark eyes to her…

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: I am once again grateful to ImmerRDA for her thoughts and suggestions when beta reading this story. Thanks my friend! Also, the feedback sent to me by you folk who are reading this continues to thrill me. You keep my muse alive, and wanting to write more.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 9**

_Previously:_

Sam squeezed his hand encouragingly. "You're not so old for a Jaffa, are you?"

"Old enough that I feel it, Samantha," he replied seriously and, much to his surprise, she chuckled.

"So we're both a couple of old codgers who should probably be living in a retirement home, huh?" she retorted with the laughter still on her lips.

A wry smile came to Teal'c's face. "Indeed."

She beamed at him and he found his heart leaping again, admonishing himself that old men should not have the kind of thoughts that sprang to his mind. Those days were gone, were they not? Undoubtedly, Samantha would think so.

As she rested her head against his chest once again, Teal'c wished it was otherwise. However, he was virile no longer; only fit to welcome peace and death, which he believed would not be too long coming. The old Jaffa welcomed this respite, the chance to enjoy the pleasing company of Samantha once again before he died, and would content himself with that.

_The story continues:_

The early-summer sun beat down on them from a bright blue sky that had turned virtually cloudless, the previously large fluffy shapes now thin wisps of white. Welcoming Samantha's suggestion that he show her around, at her insistence the pair leisurely walked arm in arm through the dry warmth while they surveyed his small holding.

Teal'c's apparent enthusiasm about what he grew and how he occupied his time with bringing new life to this world warmed Sam's heart. She could not recall having seen him quite as animated before. So human and not at all like the stern and stoic Jaffa she had first met many years ago. How things had changed for all of them in that time.

Sam had a hat perched upon her head and wore sunglasses for protection against the powerful rays. She'd had the forethought to pack sunscreen, much needed on such a gloriously warm and sun drenched day. Unlike his companion, Teal'c did not wear the protection of headgear, or sunscreen, but the sunglasses he had acquired on his last visit to Earth covered his eyes.

Months ago, Sam had bought him those very sunglasses. One day after Jack's funeral many light years away, she took him shopping in a small town close to the cabin in Minnesota. Teal'c expressed a desire for sunglasses, a practical Earth accessory he had missed, but he had no Tauri money with which to purchase them. She got half a dozen pairs for him to take home, so Teal'c had back-up after back-up, just in case. Her action amused him greatly. He was not, after all, Daniel Jackson, who broke pairs of spectacles with regular monotony.

At first, Teal'c was hesitant to accept the gifts but, in Minnesota, they did not use the barter system of his adopted home. So, he had little choice but to take her offer if he wanted a pair. On such a dazzling day, he was grateful she had persuaded him. They not only provided him with protection from the glare, but also from her penetrating gaze. Teal'c felt sure she would see his emotions all too openly if he exposed those dark eyes to her.

Sam was more than happy to allow Teal'c to barter with her over the sunglasses, and he found ways to repay her kindness by undertaking chores around her cabin and its surrounding land. Before he would let her purchase the glasses he had persisted in making this arrangement. She had agreed, knowing Teal'c wished to preserve his pride rather than accept the intended gifts without payment.

The landscape surrounding Teal'c's cabin was a cornucopia of vivid color with every shade of green one could imagine, and plants and flowers of varying hues and beauty. From scanning her surroundings right up to the horizon, Sam could see that each smallholding, including Teal'c's, grew practical vegetables and fruits in abundance, but were also festooned by less practical, but pretty, flowers. A rainbow of color, clearly cultivated and cared for. Wild flowers and grasses grew on the uncultivated land, some of which appeared familiar, similar to poppies and daisies, and some not, but no less decorative and wild.

Sam's escort accompanied them at a discreet distance, despite protestations that there was nothing to fear. The men had their orders and knew what would happen to them if General Carter came to harm. So, they remained alert with their weapons at rest but ready to press into use at a moment's notice.

When they saw someone approaching them from a distance, the watchful men looked wary, cautiously tightening their hands around the guns. Sam was amused. Even from this distance, and with ageing eyes, she could see the man who walked toward them was unarmed.

"Ry'ac!" she exclaimed with a grin, when he got close enough for her to recognize him, although he was much changed. "It's good to see you," she said.

Ry'ac smiled, stepping up his pace and, when he was upon her, took her into his arms for a brief hug. The younger man glanced at his father, wondering what he was thinking. Although they had never discussed it, he knew Teal'c had grieved for someone or something, and had speculated a guess that he had greatly missed his Tauri friends. He had no inkling about Teal'c's true feelings for this woman, but realized the pair had been close and welcomed an impromptu visit from her.

"You also, General Carter."

"Please call me Sam," she said insistently.

"I will, Sam, thank you," he replied with a slight bow that was reminiscent of his father.

"Samantha!" his father said sharply. "You should call General Carter Samantha."

His reaction took Sam aback. "Teal'c!" she exclaimed, not able to fathom his uncharacteristic churlishness.

"We should not dishonor the memory of O'Neill by utilizing his name for you."

Sam smiled at him indulgently, starting to understand, but wondering about his reasoning. Many people apart from Jack called her Sam. She commonly went by the name.

"He called me many names, Teal'c, and not all of them pretty ones sometimes," she retorted humorously. "Don't be so old fashioned." Noticing he bristled at that remark, she took his hand and squeezed it, not wishing to slight him. "That's kind of sweet," she added in a placating tone, "but not necessary."

"It is indeed necessary," Teal'c persisted peevishly, and Sam gave Ry'ac a helpless look.

"Then, Samantha," Ry'ac started, acceding to his father's wishes, "you shall come to dinner tonight with my father and our family. Kar'yn suggested I ask father, and you must come too."

"I would love to meet everyone, Ry'ac. Teal'c tells me you have quite a family now. I find it hard to believe you're a grandfather. You look way too young."

He was, of course, many years older than she remembered him. When Ry'ac had married Kar'yn, he had still appeared to be but a boy, but that boy had now matured into a handsome man, and filled out like his father. Muscles rippled under his plain, homespun tunic, his torso and legs had thickened and he had grown a dark thick beard and moustache. Although he looked so different, he remained recognizably Ry'ac.

"Many years have passed, Samantha," Ry'ac commented. "Although the children are still very young."

The latter remark appeared to be slightly whimsical and the wry smile on his face reminded her of Teal'c, although his features resembled those of Drey'auc more than his father. Sam figured that, had the universe remained the same, his forehead might have shone with the gold of a First Prime rather than the black of his Jaffa tattoo. She was glad Ry'ac did not have to live in such a universe anymore.

"And a great joy," Teal'c inserted with a smile, his earlier snit apparently forgotten.

"Then you will come?" Ry'ac asked.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, glancing at Samantha to ensure acquiescence. Happily agreeable, she gave him a look that clearly meant "of course".

"And what of your men, Samantha?" Ry'ac queried, eyeing her escort who remained guardedly quiet, watching attentively from a short distance away.

Sam grinned at the suggestion that these two strapping youngsters were her men and turned to face them.

"This is Mike and Denis," she said as introduction, indicating each man appropriately. "They are here to protect me, although quite what sin they committed to get stuck with that dubious babysitting honor, I have no idea."

Her thoughts wandered to Jack and how frustrated he would get about the assignment of such a seemingly lowly and dull mission. Mike and Denis, on the other hand, seemed honored to accompany her, showing no outward signs of irritation. But then they would not show it, would they? Not like her older, more experienced and skeptical husband probably would have.

The notion that they felt honored by the assignment was just an impression she had gleaned from their earlier conversation and their demeanor, and Sam thought she should take an opportunity to get to know the two men better.

"What about you guys?" she asked. "Do you want to put on your glad rags and party, Jaffa style?"

Realizing that her tongue was firmly in her cheek, Mike Andrews suppressed an amused smirk and schooled his features into a neutral military mask. The notion of dining with Jaffa in their home excited him. It would make quite a tale for his friends and family back home, and for his children and grandchildren too one day, he thought.

In fact, in his opinion, this whole trip was a buzz. These people had made history and were the living embodiment of a glorious past he envied. Mike wished he had lived back then when the Stargate Program had truly meant something - courage and heroism, fighting for causes that no longer existed.

These people had conquered dangerous enemies and worlds and made important allies and lasting friendships with the unusual and wonderful races of the universe. They were the first true space explorers and that was pretty wild, and courageous beyond almost anything else he could imagine.

"We cannot intrude," he replied, wishing he did not feel obliged to decline. "We're here to do a job, ma'am."

"Well, back in the day, doing my job never stopped me from being sociable when the time was right," she retorted.

"You must join us," Ry'ac insisted. "Any friends of Samantha Carter are welcome in my home, and I will not have you standing watch like two members of the Palace Guard."

Mike glanced briefly at his comrade, and shrugged, his face lighting up with a smile as he turned back to face the younger Jaffa. He found it difficult to grasp that this man was a grandfather. What they said about Jaffa must be true. He wanted to learn more.

"We would be honored, sir," he responded, bowing in the Jaffa manner he had been taught.

"And you shall honor us by attending," Ry'ac replied, meeting the bow with a similar one of his own. "Then it is settled," he added, turning back to face Sam and his father. "I shall leave you in peace and look forward to the opportunity to converse with you later. I must go home and inform Kar'yn we have additional guests for dinner, although she always makes enough food to feed a small army so there would likely be a sufficiency."

Once again, his droll smile reminded Sam of Teal'c, and she began to see his father's image in that face alongside his mother's. The young Jaffa had that all-knowing, serene look about him, just like his dear old pa.

Giving Sam a peck on the check, Ry'ac smiled at his father, reaching out a hand to squeeze his shoulder and give him a short bow. A Jaffa gesture of respect.

"Later, then," he said, turning and striding away purposefully.

Sam sighed and looked at Teal'c. "You must be proud of him."

"Indeed. He is a good man, a good husband and father."

"He looks so much like Drey'auc, although I see you in him too."

Teal'c sighed wistfully at the reminder of his late wife. "Yes, Drey'auc gave him much to commend him. His daughter, Sha'lok, is very much in her image, and his son, Bra'tac, resembles me."

"They named their son for Bra'tac? I bet he was thrilled."

"It gave him much pleasure before he passed on." He glanced at her. "Although it has been many years, I still miss him."

"Losing someone you love is hard, Teal'c."

"Indeed," he agreed, and her expression told him that her thoughts had turned back to O'Neill and that unbearable loss. Although he knew that such a loss became more tolerable with time, he also realized that it was probably still too soon for that. "Shall we walk on, Samantha?" he suggested, hoping to occupy her mind with pleasant thoughts.

"Yes, let's. I want to see everything."

"You have time enough for that. I do not wish for you to tire yourself."

"I'm too excited to be tired, Teal'c. This trip is like a breath of fresh air. It felt good to walk through the gate again. I feel fitter and younger than I have for months."

"I understand."

Sam linked her arm through his again. "Okay, so what's that over there?" she asked, pointing to a crop she didn't recognize, and their tour started again.

When they finally reached the lake, some way off, the pair sat down on a large log to rest their weary old bones, leaning their backs against a tree. Sam's silent escort seated themselves in ready watchfulness close by, but at a respectful distance to protect the privacy of the two friends.

The shimmering sun on the lake made its surface flicker and dance with light. Their position provided a closer view of the cultivated forest land Sam had seen from a distance before, and the conifer like trees swayed in the light breeze. The lake was large, stretching in front of them into the distance. A good way off she could see what appeared to be small boats bobbing in the water. The only sounds, however, were the rustling greenery, the blue water lapping on the shore and birdsong.

"It's really beautiful and peaceful here, Teal'c, just like you told me," Sam said as she looked this way and that, taking in their surroundings.

"It pleases me that you think so, Samantha," he replied and, glancing at him, she glimpsed a self-satisfied smile.

"You fish somewhere around here?"

"I do."

"Nice spot. Jack would have loved it. Are those boats I see in the distance?"

"Some of my brothers fish these waters and trade the fish for other goods," he explained, "although some merely do it for pleasure, as do the Tauri."

"The place seems almost idyllic."

"It is not always an easy life, but it can be satisfying."

Sam wondered about the easy life comment, supposing working the land had never been a life of ease, but she did not probe.

"Don't you ever miss the hubbub of life on Chulak or Earth?" she asked instead.

"Rarely. I enjoy this life, Samantha."

"But you're alone. Don't you get lonely?" She peered at him closely and he turned toward her, steadily meeting her gaze.

"You are alone too."

"Not by choice."

"Indeed not."

When Teal'c said nothing further about his aloneness, Sam did not press. Instead, the pair sat in quiet contemplation looking at the view. After a while, she rested her head on his shoulder. At first, Teal'c did not react, at least outwardly. Once again, inside his feelings were a confusion of complex mixed thoughts and feelings. Samantha Carter still had the ability to make his heart race and his blood quicken.

Then, he moved his arm to wrap around her and kissed the top of her head. She snuggled up to him. This was something she had wished for from this trip - the strong and comforting arms of the serene Teal'c around her in a gesture of enduring friendship.

"This is nice," she commented in a low tone. Teal'c said nothing, and she did not expect or need him to. Words were not important. "Tomorrow, we should come here to fish," she suggested.

Unsurprisingly, the thought raised the specter of her late husband. But Teal'c's presence made the memories bearable in a way that they were not when she brooded alone. Samantha Carter was very pleased she had made this journey - very pleased indeed.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Enduring Time

Title: Enduring Time

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: When it comes to communicating, misunderstandings are way easier than clarity.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Grateful thanks to ImmerRDA for her continuing help with this series. Thanks also to those of you who continue to read and enjoy this story, and let me know you do. Such things keep my muse going.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 10**

_Previously:_

Then, he moved his arm to wrap around her and kissed the top of her head. She snuggled up to him. This was something she had wished for from this trip - the strong and comforting arms of the serene Teal'c around her in a gesture of enduring friendship.

"This is nice," she commented in a low tone. Teal'c said nothing, and she did not expect or need him to. Words were not important. "Tomorrow, we should come here to fish," she suggested.

Unsurprisingly, the thought raised the specter of her late husband. But Teal'c's presence made the memories bearable in a way that they were not when she brooded alone. Samantha Carter was very pleased she had made this journey - very pleased indeed.

_The story continues:_

Fishing became a special and entertaining recreation in Jack and Sam's lives. Her father and brother had never been into it, and neither had any of the men she had dated, so the first time she had ever fished in her life was with Jack.

He had invited her to the cabin a few times, and she had always declined, finding an excuse, generally work related. In the end, he seemed to give her up as a lost cause, and she could not blame him for that. It probably appeared that way to him and, despite his bluster when she said no, Sam figured she must have hurt his feelings.

She had not really thought so at the time, but looking back once she had become closer to Jack, Sam regretted her previous refusals. Hurting Jack was not something she ever intended, but it seemed she had done so nevertheless. When Sam pondered of this part of their past, something she tried to avoid, she could think of many things she had done to hurt him. Rejecting his invitations to the cabin was merely the tip of the iceberg.

Sam could list a few of them, and the list mounted up to more than she had ever imagined. All too frequently, she had been the one to rebuff him, yet he came back for more, continuing to care for her. She would always be grateful he never gave up, despite everything she did to destroy his feelings for her, albeit unintentionally.

Stupid, stupid woman! She always had been a dunderhead when it came to affairs of the heart. Agreeing to date him, and then marry him, had probably been two of the very few wise acts she had ever taken in her life when it came to Jack. After that, she had more than made up for her earlier ineptitude.

Sam refused Jack's invitations to his cabin for good reasons. She had been too afraid of what might happen if she went. Even that first time, she had only agreed because Daniel and Teal'c were going and could act as chaperones - as if she had any honor to protect, for crying out loud. Freakin' ridiculous!

She'd been too stupid and blind to realize Jack meant for something to happen between them over that weekend. Something that would start them off on the road he sought to take with her. She had shunned him again, in all innocence admittedly, but it had hurt him deeply. After that, he had taken an age to pluck up the courage to ask her out on a date, and he had not been able to face her to do it, but asked over the telephone from DC.

These awkward, embarrassing Carter moments were the ones Sam regretted, even if she did not regret much she had done once they had become a couple. These were the moments that could make her heart sore when she thought about her late husband. Sam preferred to consider the good times, the times she knew she had made him happy. Thankfully, there were many of those to ponder.

Despite everything else that happened that weekend, the first time they had fished in his fishless lake in Minnesota had been one of those happy times. They were so content to sit on his dock, exchanging a few words here and there, and feeling extremely comfortable in each other's company. She recalled telling Jack that they should have done it years ago and his wry retort about not dwelling, a little dig at her previous snubs.

Fishing was peaceful and relaxing and, that weekend, Sam began to see its merits, and appreciate why Jack enjoyed it so much - not catching the fish so much as the act of fishing. In the frantic, threatening and often painful world in which Jack lived, this one thing could bring him peace. He could lick his wounds, recover the parts of himself he had lost along the way, and make himself mainly whole again.

Although Sam had started her train of thought with the fishing, the many times she and Jack fished together since that first memorable occasion, she could not help but recall that first weekend, and the others things that had happened. The hurtful things. When it comes to communicating, misunderstandings are way easier than clarity.

The mix-up happened when the pair went for a walk, leaving Daniel and Teal'c back at the cabin. Sam teased them about slothfulness, unaware their friends were being discreet by staying out of the way. It was not until much later she found out Jack had wanted the opportunity to speak with her alone, make that move, and she screwed that up with her blundering misconceptions. He had played his part in the travesty, however, so it was not all down to her.

Jack guided Sam through the forest, his sullen, pensive mood making her edgy. She could not imagine why he had asked her along if he wanted to brood alone. It never occurred to her that he was tense and nervous. A tense, nervous Jack either talked too much, chattering away jokingly to conceal his unease, or talked too little. At this point, he was taking the talking too little route but she misconstrued his motives.

Sun dappled through the trees, which swayed slightly in the warm breeze, so shadows danced and flickered around them. It was pretty, but their mutual discomfort meant neither Jack nor Sam noticed.

"So the hating trees thing is a myth, sir?" she asked, saying almost anything to break the awkward silence that had descended.

"You know me. Life isn't worth living if I've got nothing to complain about."

Her response was to laugh slightly too much and look self-conscious. Jack's unease deepened as he struggled to find a way to relieve the palpable tension. He could not figure it out. They had been fine sitting on his dock, fishing. Relaxed like old and close friends. Now, the whole forest seemed to be pressing in on him and he so disliked that feeling. What was it with her? Of course, he had no idea that her reactions were borne from his actions.

"I hoped you'd relax and enjoy yourself, Sam. You seemed pretty relaxed when we were fishing," he said after another long pause. Glancing at her, he grinned, hoping to elicit a smile. "I guess you'd rather be back at the mountain playing with your doohickeys."

The smile came, but there was something distant about it and Jack's heart sunk. "No, sir, I'm having fun." Her cautious tone belied the words.

"Fun?" he made a shocked face, trying to ride out the anxiety and make it through to the other side. For his purposes, he needed Sam to loosen up and that seemed unlikely right then. Loosening up seemed beyond his reach too. "I thought science was fun for you and everything else was the hard work."

Slightly disgruntled because his moroseness had dampened her mood, Sam was uncertain how to react to his comment.

"I do know how to have fun, sir," she snapped and he bit back a sarcastic quip. "It's nice here. Pretty."

He looked at her sideways, trying to ignore the snarky tone of her original retort as if it did not bother him, but it did. Jack was quickly losing any courage he had managed to muster. "Glad you think so, Sam. I thought I told you to call me Jack this weekend."

She shrugged in a careless manner, somehow feeling wrong footed and defensive. "I know, but it seems so inappropriate."

He hitched a breath at those words. "Inappropriate? What the hell does that mean?"

His eyes remained fixed firmly on her face, but she was not looking at him. If she had, she might have seen something to ease her doubts, but she did not dare. The whole situation was making her increasingly uncomfortable.

"Um, it's never really been appropriate, has it, sir?"

Her sentiments and emphasis on the overused 'sir' seemed intended to put him in his place, at a distance. So he turned his eyes away and missed the confused look she gave him, which might have told him a lot. And those few seconds, those few words, nixed Jack's plan. Having gone as far as to think he might take a chance, Sam blew it. In fact they both did.

Jack was pissed, angry and upset, and deeply hurt. The anger showed, but not much else, and Sam could not figure out what she had done to annoy him. All she could see was the ire, and his wrath always upset her.

As a result, Jack cut the walk short, leading her back to the cabin in haste. The silence that sprung up between them was awkward and they both carried internal scars on the journey, each fuming in their own way.

When they reached the cabin, Daniel and Teal'c eyed each other with dismay. It was hardly rocket science to surmise things had not gone as they had hoped. Something was wrong, badly wrong.

Jack, of course, would not talk about it. In fact, he hardly spoke at all for the rest of that day. Instead, he chopped some wood for a fire later, using considerable force to vent his anger and pain. He felt rejected, once again, just as he had so many times. Sam did not even get it. All she knew was that he was angry about something, but she failed to understand what had provoked him.

The earlier act of fishing, during which they had felt so at ease with each other, turned out to be their best moment. On the surface, Jack reverted to his normal self after the walk incident, but he ensured they were rarely alone and closed down to her. He became the genial host again, but nothing more.

It was something of a miracle that he ever even bothered after that, made the last ditch effort that had led to their marriage. It could have been so different and where would she have been then? Probably a very lonely spinster with many regrets, instead of a lonely widow with many happy memories.

Jack told Sam about it eventually, after they were married. They were in bed canoodling and he asked if she remembered. It did not take him long to realize she had absolutely no clue as to what had been going on, so he told her. Sam's heart ached because she had been so clueless and hurt him, even if unintentionally, and she regretted that wasted time.

If she had understood over that weekend, dared to follow her heart and contemplate what Jack wanted, they would have had a few additional months together. Now he was gone, that was surely something to regret. As far as Sam was concerned, they had not had enough time - but they never could have.

Then she recalled one of their conversations just after she returned from that fateful trip on the Odyssey. Jack told her he was never alone during all those years because, no matter what else was going on in their personal lives, she had been there by his side. He was right, they had made a great team, and she had never really been alone either, because of him.

None of those years waiting and wanting had truly been wasted. They forged what the pair became, what they meant to each other, how they loved and why. They made their extraordinary marriage possible, bonded them together and strengthened them. She should not regret that lost time. Jack would never have wanted her to. Life is too short for regrets, right? Life is for living, so live it. He would have said that.

They talked about a lot of things on the night he spoke to her about that first trip to his cabin, a lot of the grief they had given each other over the years. Obviously, Jack was feeling inclined to open up and Sam was not missing the opportunity. She never knew what motivated him to do it, but she learned a lot.

Sam could hear her late husband's voice in her head, admonishing her. She could see his bright smile, glistening dark eyes and feel his arms holding her. Tears brimmed under her lids and she brushed them away, the memories of that night helping her to realize she need not regret causing him pain, because he did not regret.

They had both hurt each other over the years, so it was not all one sided by any means. It really did not amount to much once they became a couple. The many happy years far outweighed the long and painful wait.

To Jack it was the past and what counted was the present. They were together and each of them deeply loved and respected the other. That past had made what they shared both possible and special. He had made that very clear.

To Sam, her list of misdemeanors seemed long. She had done so much to cause Jack pain. Before their marriage, they had never discussed the whole Pete Shanahan fiasco, and that night they exorcised his demon, amongst others, or appeared to. Sam knew her engagement to Pete must have hurt Jack; even the mere fact of Pete in her life. Jack had always told her to get a life, ordered her to do so, but he surely could not have expected or wanted to lose her in the process.

The day she showed Jack her engagement ring, told him about Pete's proposal, she hoped he would stop her. The fact that he failed to do so, that they misunderstood each other that day too, pushed her further into Pete's arms and away from the man she had loved for so long. That conversation had been too coded, and neither of them had been able to decipher it.

"What about you? If things had been different ..." she asked, trailing off and leaving too much unspoken. If things had been different? What things? How had she imagined he would understand what she was thinking, her doubts and fears, her true purpose?

Jack looked at her for a moment before responding. "I wouldn't be here," he replied and that, for all intents and purposes, was that.

When she repeated the words back to him that night he opened up, Jack regarded her with stark amazement.

"You thought I was pushing you away?" he asked, smoothing her bare arm with his thumb. "I just wanted you to be happy, Sam. I thought you loved him. What else could I think?"

"I don't know. I was so confused. I think I wanted you to stop me making a mistake. I wanted to know if there was any hope for us."

"And I didn't give you any?"

"No. I didn't really know what you meant."

He chuckled and leaned forward to kiss her nose affectionately. "You were talking about having a family, how work might affect that, going through the gate and leaving your kids behind. I thought you were talking about Sara and Charlie; asking what I would have done if I'd still had a family."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "That's what you thought? I… oh… I…"

"That's not what you meant?"

"No. I meant if things had been different with us. If we didn't have the regs standing in our way, all of that."

"Oh." Jack thought about that for a while, staring somewhere past Sam's shoulder and then looking at her again and laughing. Her response was a deep frown. "Sorry. Not funny, I guess," he said, trying to look contrite, but failing to succeed. "Come on Sam, you have to admit it's funny."

"I don't see why," she replied huffily.

"If Charlie hadn't died, I would never have become part of the program. We probably wouldn't have ever met."

He sighed heavily and felt the need to explain more. Sam did not seem to get it. Maybe she genuinely knew nothing about that dark part of his history. Jack lay back and stared at the ceiling as he spoke, his thumb continuing to stroke her skin, but absently, as he remembered and told her the truth she did not seem to know.

"When Charlie died, I was suicidal. I thought you knew. That's part of why they chose me for that first Abydos mission. It was a suicide mission. I had the right training and nothing much to lose. They never thought I would make it back. None of the people on that mission had families. It was too much of a risk. I was supposed to get them home if I could, or rather Daniel was. I was meant to die with Ra. Go out in a nuclear blaze of glory."

She sucked in a breath, stifling a sob. "I didn't know."

Sam was stuck for words, was not sure how to react. She could not imagine Jack feeling suicidal. He loved life way too much. Sure, she realized he was willing to sacrifice himself for something he believed in, but that he contemplated taking his own life seemed unthinkable.

"Obviously." Jack was deliberately avoiding her eyes, his expression emotionless, as blank as she had ever seen it.

"Suicidal?" she repeated, awe struck by the implication. "That… God, Jack, that's so unlike you. It was always you who never gave up; who kept us from giving up."

"Yeah, well I guess Daniel has a lot to answer for," he said and Sam gave him a puzzled look. "Daniel, Skaara and the rest of the Abydonian kids. They made me realize dying isn't an option. Not if there's another way. I never wanted to go to that murky place again, although I've… had moments."

Jack shuddered, meeting her eyes at last and, when he did not clarify further, Sam reached over to brush his cheek lightly with her fingertips. He smiled, taking that hand in his and kissing it.

"Then there was the Stargate Program, SG-1, you…" he continued, shrugging when he trailed off. "You know, stuff that made life worthwhile again. Gave me a mission, a cause to fight, people to care about."

"Jack…" she started, wanting more, but his eyes held a plea, telling her not to probe further. If he wanted to talk, he would talk. It seemed he had said his piece and thought it was enough. "So, that day I showed you the ring…"

"Misunderstanding I guess."

"I nearly made one of the biggest mistakes of my life because of it."

"If the only reason you were going to marry him was because you thought you couldn't have me then I suppose it was quite some mistake."

"I thought I loved him. I wanted to love him, wanted normal. But my feelings for you… they were kind of a huge honkin' stumbling block."

The comment made him smile, despite his slight discomfort at discussing her ex, and he reached out to pull her toward him. It was true he had been hurt, but also that he had failed to fight for her. They had both given up, at least for a while.

"So you wanted normal but you got me instead," he said, giving her a squeeze.

As he nuzzled into her neck, Sam wondered if he deliberately hid his eyes from her gaze, knowing she might be able to read something he did not want her to see. He might have opened up a little, but for Jack there was such a thing as too open.

She had not figured where to draw those lines with him yet and did not particularly want to cross them. Sam wanted him to cross them willingly because she was his wife and should be his best friend. Over the years they were together, this had happened just as she wanted, but for then she contented herself with what she got.

"How could I have been such a fool, Jack? You should have hated me for everything I did," she muttered, after a long pause for reflection.

"Hate you?" he responded, with genuine surprise, drawing back from her and capturing her eyes. "I could never hate you, Sam." He appeared horrified by the notion.

"You had good cause. I'm sorry."

"You never gave me cause to hate you. I screwed up too. We both did stuff we probably shouldn't have, that hurt each other, that we regretted. But we're here now, together, Mrs O'Neill."

She snuggled into his arms again, continuing to ruminate as she watched his face. Despite the apparently gloomy subject matter, his eyes shone and seemed to show a joyful heart.

"I don't get it," she ventured. "After all that, you still asked me on a date. Why? How did you do that, find the courage?"

"I don't know. One day I realized I just hadn't tried hard enough, I guess. I was nuts about you, Sam, then and now. You were worth a shot, even if you pushed me away again. My last chance. If you'd said no, I probably wouldn't have asked again."

"Thank heaven I said yes." She leaned in to kiss him, and he took the opportunity to deepen the brief peck she had started. Pulling away, breathlessly, he eyed her again.

"Yeah, thank heaven you said yes. All that's over and done with. It's history. What matters is now."

She smiled, squeezing him gently. "I can't promise never to hurt you again, Jack, I wish I could, but life isn't like that. We'll have arguments, probably lots of them. But I can promise to try my best."

"Then that's enough. You're my wife and I know you love me. Just continue doing what you do."

"Loving you? I think I can handle that."

"Feel like proving how much?" he replied, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, yes," she agreed with a lascivious smirk. "I can definitely handle that!"

And this was where his candidness ended for the moment. Then he opened up to her in an entirely different and fulfilling way. Sam remembered their lovemaking that night well too, and the memories made her smile, but miss him even more.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Enduring Time

Title: Enduring Time

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: The family gathering at Ry'ac's home was just about the least peaceful affair Sam could have imagined…

Sequel/Series Info: Continuation from Chapter 10 of Enduring Time and sequel series to Unending Time

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story and keeping me on track. Any remaining errors are entirely my own. Particularly in the short section of this chapter that has not been beta read because I added it later! Thanks also to all of you who continue to read and enjoy this story, and tell me so. My muse is inspired by your encouraging words.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 11**

_Previously:_

"I don't get it," she ventured. "After all that, you still asked me on a date. Why? How did you do that, find the courage?"

"I don't know. One day I realized I just hadn't tried hard enough, I guess. I was nuts about you, Sam, then and now. You were worth a shot, even if you pushed me away again. My last chance. If you'd said no, I probably wouldn't have asked again."

"Thank heaven I said yes." She leaned in to kiss him, and he took the opportunity to deepen the brief peck she had started. Pulling away, breathlessly, he eyed her again.

"Yeah, thank heaven you said yes. All that's over and done with. It's history. What matters is now."

She smiled, squeezing him gently. "I can't promise never to hurt you again, Jack, I wish I could, but life isn't like that. We'll have arguments, probably lots of them. But I can promise to try my best."

"Then that's enough. You're my wife and I know you love me. Just continue doing what you do."

"Loving you? I think I can handle that."

"Feel like proving how much?" he replied, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh, yes," she agreed with a lascivious smirk. "I can definitely handle that!"

And this was where his candidness ended for the moment. Then he opened up to her in an entirely different and fulfilling way. Sam remembered their lovemaking that night well too, and the memories made her smile, but miss him even more.

_The story continues:_

The family gathering at Ry'ac's home was just about the least peaceful affair Sam could have imagined. The family set up tables in their garden, and they almost sagged under the weight of food and drink.

The garden had an expanse of lawn and was dotted around and about with various flower beds of toning hues: reds and oranges, blues and purples, whites and yellows, and so on. Obviously, it was well cared for and Sam found herself increasingly surprised by how it could so easily have been a garden of any community in America.

The main difference was that some of the flowers were unfamiliar and alien, although not in any disconcerting way. Sam did not get the feeling that they would bite, which had been a feature of some of her many travels to alien worlds.

While cooler than the heat of midday, the evening was warm and balmy, with fluffy clouds returning to scatter across the bright blue sky. Sunglasses perched on her nose, Sam sat in a comfortable chair with Ry'ac close by and Teal'c at the opposite end of their table near his grandchildren. He appeared to relish that grandfatherly role, keeping an affectionately watchful eye as they ate and played, talking and interacting with them as any grandfather should.

Sam figured he had missed so much of Ry'ac's childhood while fulfilling his duty and dreams that he was making up for it now. His geniality toward the children delighted her, and she realized what a wonderful father he would have made if given the chance and the universe and Goa'uld had not intervened.

In the spirit of this Jaffa planet, Ry'ac and Kar'yn invited their neighbors as well as family. The children noisily played and tussled all around them as the adults sat and talked over each other, like people do in many homes throughout the universe.

Her ubiquitous babysitters, Mike and Denis, quickly got into the swing of things, throwing their caution and their weapons to the winds to play with the kids. The two men were thoroughly enjoying themselves and rapidly realized that Jaffa children's games were not very different to those they played on Earth.

Young Brat'ac's wife, El'ra, had a baby at her breast, and Ry'ac's daughter, Sha'lok, had two young toddlers, who were the handful one might expect to find anywhere from children of their ages. But the children that played around them varied in age from young teen to babe in arms, and provided the gathering with the jolly and boisterous atmosphere of an extended family at rest and play. Sam realized these were the first generations of Jaffa to be born truly free and she wondered about the impact of such momentous changes to a race and its culture.

The food was excellent; locally caught fish and game, eggs and milk from home bred chickens and goats, vegetables and salads, and fruit and fruit juices that mainly originated from produce grown on Ry'ac's own acres of land.

Sam was amused when El'ra handed Teal'c her baby and the old Jaffa warrior cradled him in his arms, fondling him and murmuring baby talk with a huge soppy smile on his face. She could not recall having seen such a smile on his lips before now and his joy at playing great grandpapa delighted her.

As she watched, her friend raised his eyes to meet hers and seemed flustered by her gaze, as if embarrassed to be caught out in such an act with his family. She grinned, eyes clearly sparkling with the delight she felt at the sight, and the nature of Teal'c's smile changed. It was as if he smiled only at and for her, a secretive smile of the type that only very close friends exchange.

Ry'ac, who sat next to her, noted it, and turned to whisper in Sam's ear. "I think your presence is good for my father. He appears brighter than I have seen him of late. I am very glad you are here, Samantha. He has missed his Tauri friends greatly, I believe."

The words broke the spell between her and Teal'c and she turned to respond with an equally low whisper. "I miss him, too, Ry'ac. He's been a great friend, one of the best anyone could wish for. Your father is a good man, and he was such a comfort when Jack died."

Ry'ac's tone turned more somber. "I was sorry to learn of his death. He, too, was a good man. I wished to accompany my father back to Earth at the time, but he insisted on going alone."

"I'm sorry you could not come," she replied but her secret thoughts told her otherwise. She was thankful Teal'c had come alone as she had derived so much solace from his quiet, solid company. Ry'ac's presence might have spoiled that dynamic.

Sitting back in silence, Sam observed Teal'c's family and soaked up the atmosphere. She was tired. An old woman now, she realized she had probably extended herself too much for one day. There had been a lot of excitement since she had walked through the gate that morning, a lot of walking, wrought emotions, and now this. It was exhausting just watching all the activity.

Watching Teal'c, she wondered that he did not feel it too. He did not seem in the least fatigued. Sam had no real idea how old he was in Jaffa terms, how many more years he might be expected to remain healthy or live. She wished for him to live long and be able to take full advantage of the pleasure he so obviously got from his family and their children.

Evidently, Ry'ac and Kar'yn were still very much in love. At first, Teal'c had been against their marriage but before they came here this evening, he admitted to Sam he had been wrong. He feared they had been too young, that his son did not yet understand what love and commitment truly was. He was anxious that Ry'ac's partnership with Kar'yn would hold him back from whatever ambitions he had.

They were natural fears for a father to have for his son, but they had turned out to be groundless. Teal'c did not seem to mind admitting his error. Their contentment made him happy - their children and their children's children even more so.

Sam wondered if Teal'c might secretly envy such contentment. Whether he wished his life could have been different. She was very fond of her Jaffa friend and wanted the life for him that he might have desired. He had paid dearly for his freedom and that of his Jaffa brethren, although Sam was not certain he would regret the high price.

Maybe sometimes. Everyone has regrets, but this does not necessarily mean they made mistakes. On some levels, the right thing can also be the wrong thing.

Like Jack, Teal'c sacrificed much to achieve his goals. But Sam had always hoped her husband reaped some reward from his long and happy marriage to her. It seemed he had thought so. Teal'c had not been so lucky. One of those sacrifices had been his wife. He was alone despite his family.

It was not that Sam really believed everything in life came down to having a good life partnership. Far from it. Happiness is about way more than that. However, she knew from experience how much such a relationship could mean because she'd had one.

Before Jack, her life had been full and she had achieved much. The intimacy and sharing of life with Jack, however, was a bonus that was beyond price. It defied description. Sam would not have missed it for anything. Although she might never have known differently, she was happy she had.

Looking at him now, Sam envied Teal'c the energy he seemed to have. It was something she could probably never muster again. An adrenaline rush must have kept her going up until recently, but she could feel it seeping out of her.

As the evening drew on and the sun waned, she continued to glance at the sky with interest. Although still light, one moon appeared, seemingly closer and larger than the moon on Earth, and she briefly wondered how that affected seasons and tides on the planet.

The setting sun was a thing of astonishing magnificence, a rich tapestry of color ranging from deep and unusual oranges and reds to tinges of green, blue and purple in various shades. She stared at it in wonder, as if she had never seen a sunset before, and she hadn't. At least not on this planet. Her various travels might have prepared her, but it had been a long time since she had ventured to alien worlds, and Sam had learned that alien skies could be very different and more extraordinary than what she was used to back on Earth.

Then, as twilight followed and it darkened, the second moon made its appearance. It seemed smaller than the first, or perhaps only more distant; difficult to tell for sure without instrumentation with which to measure it accurately. The night sky twinkled with many stars, and lack of Earth-like artificial light made it a spectacle to behold with some awe. As Jack might have said, this just never grows old.

While she had viewed the universe through the eyes of a scientist, the apparently cynical and world-weary Jack had seen the beauty and marvel of the skies, and taught her to do the same. The memory of their many nights of stargazing made her smile. Nights spent staring at the heavens, Jack pointing to various stars and constellations talking about them as if he knew each one intimately.

His awe rubbed off on her. Although he traveled the stars for his work, Jack never tired of the more familiar ones within his own field of vision. Stars spied either with the naked eye or through his telescope from the rooftop; or while they lay on a blanket in each others arms after a picnic in the countryside; or while they sat on the porch or the dock at the cabin, holding hands.

He would whisper to her as if introducing her to old friends, and then they might kiss, caress and fondle, as if the stargazing were foreplay to a seduction, which sometimes it was. They might make love then and there, under the canopy Jack admired so much, with the woman he also prized, and it was as if this was their own little world, and no one else existed in the whole universe.

Sam chuckled to herself at the sheer corniness of her meandering thoughts. Jack would probably laugh too if she voiced such notions to him, although deep down he had a heart for romance, When it came down to it, his romantic side was probably greater than hers, much more so than Sam had ever anticipated.

If the scientific wheels of her mind started spinning, Jack would give her a look, utter a word, or squeeze her gently, and Sam would realize she was sucking the fun out of it and shut up. Her husband had taught her to look at so many things with different eyes, his eyes, and those eyes had been worth looking through. Sam would always be grateful for the Jack O'Neill world view, and how it had changed her life and mind. She missed that so terribly that it continued to wrench her heart and feel like a sucker punch to her stomach.

"Ma'am, are you all right?" a voice asked, and she glanced up to see Mike Andrews looming above her with a concerned look. Smiling, she grabbed his hand with the little strength she could summon.

"I'm just a little tired, Mike. Why don't you sit down and keep me company for a while?"

He hesitated briefly, as if thinking, and then squatted down beside her. Ry'ac touched him on the shoulder and he turned to look.

"You wish to sit here with Samantha?" he asked, rising from his chair and making room. The younger man nodded, taking Ry'ac's place beside her once he had moved.

"The lieutenant and I could take you home, ma'am," he offered. "You look in need of a bed."

"I thought I told you to call me Sam," she said with a faint grin. Her face had paled and the Major tried to hide his anxiety.

"Ma'am…?"

"Please don't make me go home yet. I just need to sit here a while. Get a second wind. I'll be fine." Mike glanced around, indecisively. "Tell me a little about yourself, Mike."

She still gripped his hand, and the strength with which she held it surprised him. Reaching over to the table, he poured some water and handed it to her.

"Perhaps you need some water, ma'am?"

Sam did not think she did but humored him, taking the glass in her free hand, having a sip and then returning it to the table top. Glancing around, she realized that the tables and garden were now strewn with so many lights that they rivaled the glory of the numerous stars that had caught her attention and made her drift off into daydreams. The candles within lanterns swayed and shimmered gracefully like twinkling stars.

It looked pretty, but she turned her attention back to her companion. "I asked you a question, Mike. Are you going to keep an old woman waiting?"

"We really should take you…"

"Soon. Humor a grumpy old crone."

Mike laughed. "Crone? No way ma'am."

She grinned, eyes lighting up, which suddenly made her appear full of life, and Mike returned her smile. "Sam," she said, persistently.

"I-I shouldn't," he said, and Sam chuckled as he seemed to have gone shy on her, like a small toddler. She could have sworn that he would have hidden behind his mother's skirts had she been present.

The man was so young. How she wished… but there was no point in wishing for the impossible. With advances in medicine and technology, human life spans were longer now. Sam envied the young their futures, the things they would take for granted and the new advances and wonders they would live to see. She regretted that she would not live to see that future and suspected this was something that gave most old people pause for thought.

Despite that, Sam was not sure she would really want to be young again, not unless she could raise her husband from the dead and make him young too. Life would be worth living all over again if that could happen.

"Come on, Mike, it's a party," she said in a jolly tone that disguised those thoughts. "We're all friends here. So?"

He sighed, deciding to accede and relaxing slightly. "What do you want to know about me…Sam?"

"Better," she replied with a mocking smirk. "Tell me about the things that interest you. Tell me about your family. Where do you come from? Anything…"

"I'm really not that interesting."

"Sure you are. We all are. Unique, individual, human."

He pondered that for a while before replying. "You've done so much in your lifetime. I couldn't hope to ever be as interesting as that."

She laughed, figuring the young man suffered from some kind of hero worship. Flattered though she was, this was not something she sought.

"I was a young Major too, once."

"Yes, ma-Sam. I've read a lot about you."

"Well, I know all about me. It's you I'm interested in."

Her persistence thrilled him, made him feel good about himself. The great Samantha Carter/O'Neill was interested in him. That really was a tale to tell his grandchildren. So he settled down to talk to one of his heroes, to tell her what she wanted to know.

"I come from a large family a little like this one. The youngest. Four sisters."

Sam chuckled at that thought. Poor guy. How brow beaten he must have been, and how spoiled.

"I had lots of aunts, uncles and cousins, though - some of them like brothers. This shindig reminds me of the parties we used to have back home. The whole family would gather in someone's yard. We'd have trestle tables weighed down with food, lots of games for us kids."

"A happy childhood, then?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, ma'am. My four sisters would bully me sometimes, but mainly in fun. At least I got used to women. Love 'em."

"What man doesn't?"

"I know quite a few, ma'am."

"You're slipping," she admonished at him addressing her as ma'am again.

Chuckling and then smiling broadly, he corrected himself. "Sam."

The smile had a similar quality to her husband's and Sam thought the young man looked handsome and charming, just as Jack had.

"Good," she said, trying not to drift off into thoughts of Jack. "Are you married, Mike?" She noted the lack of a wedding ring but took nothing for granted.

"No." There was something in Sam's manner that invited confidences, so he continued. "There's someone special, though."

"Ah!" she replied with a grin. "We all deserve a special someone in our lives."

"I'm not sure she feels the same."

The comment piqued her curiosity. "Not your girlfriend?"

"Wish she was."

"You haven't asked?"

The young Major looked uncertain about continuing, but after a long pause, clarified.

"She works at the SGC."

"I see. Frat regs?" she asked.

"Something like that," he replied wistfully. Her grip on his hand tightened and he felt forced to meet her eyes which burned into him with an intensity that made him shiver.

"Don't waste your life wanting and loving and doing nothing, Mike." He noticed a distant expression come over her face. "Jack and I wasted too much time, understanding, misunderstanding. Everything else came first; careers, fighting the enemy. Sometimes I wish we'd just gone for it."

Mike hung on every word. She was talking about his hero, the great Jack O'Neill. He dared not say anything in case he disturbed her train of thought. Samantha Carter was hero enough in her own right, but to hear about her husband from her mouth was beyond anything he might have wished for, short of meeting the man while he was still alive.

"He was the one," she continued. "I knew, but tried to deny it, fight it. He did too. Jack seemed to think I should get another life when what I wanted was a life with him. I thought fighting by his side was enough, and it wasn't until much later I realized it never had been. It was adequate, great really, but not enough. Not compared to what we found later."

When she trailed off, he waited to see if she continued but she did not, so he prompted her.

"But you got a life with him, ma'am. I guess you got lucky," he said with an encouraging smile.

"Sure, eventually. When he was my CO, how could we? Darned frat regs. We worked together for years, watched each other hurting, caring more than either of us should. We should have fought for more, but we didn't. We waited, came close to screwing up, and we could have had more years."

Mike nodded, remaining silent as she continued, still eager to glean whatever he could direct from a source who knew. Briefly, he wondered if he could get her to talk about their adventures as SG-1. He had read stories, reports, but he was betting there was a lot more she could tell him than anything on a written page.

"Working by his side was one hell of a ride. He taught me so much. I'll always be grateful for that. He was a great team leader, a great general, one of the best men I've ever been privileged to know; courageous, a real hero, although he never thought so. He was so modest. Sometimes, to outsiders, he could appear quite different to what he really was, but if you knew him… Marriage, living with him day after day, waking by his side, his smile, his touch, his companionship, his love - that was so much more. Extraordinary.

"Don't get me wrong. Jack wasn't perfect. Far from it. He was human, just like the rest of us. I didn't always agree with him. Sometimes he could be hateful, a total bastard, but Jack had a moral code of his own. Mostly, he did the right thing for the right reasons, but he wasn't always right. He could be stubborn and unforgiving, or quite the opposite. A complicated man who liked to think he was simple. Liked to pretend he was dumb too, but he wasn't, of course."

She paused for thought for a short while and then continued, almost as if she was talking to herself rather than to Mike. "Jack gave so much of himself that sometimes I wonder how he had anything left."

Then, Sam loosed her grip, dropping her hand to her lap, and Mike feared she would stop, so prompted her again.

"You loved him very much," he said, a statement rather than a question. The answer was blindingly obvious.

"Ya think?" she replied with a chuckle, knowing he would not get the little joke, but he would understand the gist. Patting his hand, she sighed. "And there I was thinking we were talking about you."

"Oh, but Jack O'Neill is way more fascinating."

Sam eyed him with amusement. "Quite the hero. One of yours?"

When he looked flustered by the question, her amusement deepened.

"Um, yes ma'am," Mike admitted falteringly. "I've read everything I can lay my hands on about him, you, SG-1…"

"Me?" she queried. "I was the boring scientist."

Mike laughed at that. "Me too. Physics." She nodded and smiled, delighted by that discovery. "But you were way more than that, ma'am."

"I could tell you some stories…" He waited hopefully, but when she continued, it was not to reminisce but to issue an invitation.

"You should come to the cabin in Minnesota one day. Maybe I could tell you some then." She laughed at his reaction; mouth hanging open in a dumbstruck, awed kind of way, eyes as big as saucers. "I mean it Mike. If you can stomach an old woman's company. But only if you bring that young woman you're so crazy about along with you. So, you see, you have to ask her."

"I-I-I'd be honored, ma'am." Mike couldn't believe his good fortune. The great General Samantha Carter had actually invited him to visit her in the cabin where Jack O'Neill had lived, where he had spent much of his childhood, where he had fished, the place that had become the marital home of Jack and Samantha O'Neill. This was too good to be true - incredible!

Only problem was, he'd have to ask Jane. It seemed to be a condition of his visit. Mike was not sure he could pull that off, but he liked the old woman even more for wanting him to.

"And one word of ma'am in my home will get you thrown out, young man," Sam said mockingly and Mike laughed.

"I'll try my best, Sam. Getting Jane to come with me might be the bigger problem."

"Jane? That's her name? Nice name. She'll come. How could she resist a handsome young man like you with that wonderful smile?" Sam smirked at Mike's responding blush.

'Wonderful smile? Cool!' he thought but did not express those thoughts aloud. "I figure that might be easier than her saying yes."

Sam of all people could relate to that because of the number of times she had turned down Jack's invitations to his cabin. Saying no was always the easiest option, while also being the most difficult. She often wondered what might have happened if she had accepted years earlier.

"If she says no, I'll call her up to give her a piece of my mind," she said. "I turned Jack down too many times. Wish I hadn't. I longed to say yes, but lacked the courage. Maybe your Jane will have more courage than I. I hope so."

Mike waited for her to say more and when she remained silent, peered at her closely. Her head was drooping and he experienced a brief moment of panic, worried she was ill, or worse.

"General Carter?" he said softly, and then with increasing loudness, "General? Sam?"

Teal'c heard and looked up, hurriedly passing the baby back to El'ra and rising to rush to Sam's side. She looked pale. Too pale. Squatting down, he took her hand, moving his other hand to feel the pulse in her neck. It was throbbing gently and he sighed with relief.

"Samantha?" he whispered softly, gently touching her face with his fingertips and then looking up at Mike. "I believe she is asleep."

"Thank god. I thought…" Mike replied with palpable relief. "She did seem tired. It's been a long and energetic day for a woman of her age."

Teal'c glared at the younger man. "There is much life in Samantha yet," he retorted with an angered tone.

"I-I'm sorry, sir, I didn't mean any offense. She's not Jaffa, she's human."

"Of this I am aware," snapped Teal'c, and then he sighed regretfully, inclining his head into a bow. "Forgive me. You are correct. We should take her home to bed."

Despite his advanced age, Teal'c stood and then bent to lift her into his arms. She was so light; frail and… old, but not too old. He was sure she had much more life to come, if she wanted live it without O'Neill. Teal'c feared that she might not. He dreaded the day a young man like the Major would knock on his door to break that sad news. One day, perhaps… but not today. He thought Samantha could easily outlive him.

"We'll carry her, sir," the Major offered, nodding toward his lieutenant, who had magically appeared by his side ready to assist.

"I will do it. Samantha is no burden to me," Teal'c replied. "You will accompany me."

"Yes, sir," the two Air Force officers agreed in unison, muttering numerous thanks to the gathering for their hospitality.

Teal'c bowed to his friends and family, asking forgiveness for leaving so peremptorily, and stalked off, led by the two airmen with torches, and holding Sam with tender care and attention. She murmured and stirred slightly a few times, but did not awaken.

Although she seemed to weigh increasingly more as they walked, Teal'c refused to show his discomfort and insisted on carrying her all the way home. Not far, but far enough for an old Jaffa, he thought regretfully, realizing that age and frailty were not confined to his human guest.

When they reached his cabin, the two men followed him in to light the way, lighting some candles in his living space and bedroom. They watched as he gently laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. Then he politely dismissed them, and remained standing over his sleeping friend watching the rise and fall of her breath.

For one brief moment back at Ry'ac's, he had been alarmed, thinking she might have passed on, and Teal'c needed to ensure she was all right. Having sat in a chair to watch for a long time, stirred by memories of the bed they had shared for so many years, he got up and kissed her forehead. Tenderly, he swept her hair away from it with his surprisingly light touch, and left her to sleep alone - but he was wishing it did not have to be that way.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Enduring Time

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Being alone sucks…

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Thanks very much to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story for me. Her advice and suggestions help me a lot! And thanks to all of you who are reading and enjoying this series, and letting me know that. Your feedback encourages and prompts my muse. :-)

**Enduring Time: Chapter 12**

_Previously:_

Teal'c bowed to his friends and family, asking forgiveness for leaving so peremptorily, and stalked off, led by the two airmen with torches, and holding Sam with tender care and attention. She murmured and stirred slightly a few times, but did not awaken.

Although she seemed to weigh increasingly more as they walked, Teal'c refused to show his discomfort and insisted on carrying her all the way home. Not far, but far enough for an old Jaffa, he thought regretfully, realizing that age and frailty were not confined to his human guest.

When they reached his cabin, the two men followed him in to light the way, lighting some candles in his living space and bedroom. They watched as he gently laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her. Then he politely dismissed them, and remained standing over his sleeping friend watching the rise and fall of her breath.

For one brief moment back at Ry'ac's, he had been alarmed, thinking she might have passed on, and Teal'c needed to ensure she was all right. Having sat in a chair to watch for a long time, stirred by memories of the bed they had shared for so many years, he got up and kissed her forehead. Tenderly, he swept her hair away from it with his surprisingly light touch, and left her to sleep alone - but he was wishing it did not have to be that way.

_The story continues:_

Upon waking next morning, the comfort of the bed and coziness of the room surprised Sam, and belied Teal'c's words about his humble home. The bed was not exactly like the comfy mattresses back home, but it had been more than enough to allow her to sleep soundly. The activities of the previous day had exhausted her, so she probably could have slept almost anywhere.

Realizing she was still fully clothed, Sam tried to remember leaving the party and returning to Teal'c's cabin, but could not. Then she seemed to recall she might have fallen asleep there. Oh my, what an embarrassment! She really was an old woman. That seemed unfair because her heart still felt so young.

Sam recalled talking to Mike, and she tried to recollect the conversation, relieved at remembering almost every word. Not so old then, or not mentally anyway.

Mike seemed thrilled by the invitation to visit her in Minnesota, although Sam could not imagine why such a young man would want the company of an elderly, doddering woman. Perhaps because Jack was one of his heroes, go figure. He would probably lap up any morsel she cared to divulge about her husband.

It could be good to talk about the old days and Jack with someone who had not been there and was curious. Perhaps it was time to write those memoirs, she thought, chuckling to herself at the notion.

Sam remembered telling Mike he would have to invite the young woman he longed for if he expected to visit. Perhaps she was putting undue pressure on the man, but she could not help but feel he should take his chance, and anything that might spur him on must be a good thing.

What was the point of making mistakes unless you learn something from them, whether they be your mistakes or someone else's? Though she realized people generally have to make their own mistakes and rarely learn from those of others - or even their own. Sam wished they would, so it did not hurt to try did it?

Slowly, she sat up and looked around the room to study it more closely. Like the living area of his cabin, Teal'c's bedroom was simple. As well as the practical fur and plain fabric hanging on the walls, the room contained storage; home made cabinets with drawers. She thought them quite attractive in their simplicity. Candles covered virtually every surface, as was Teal'c's habit.

Briefly, Sam wondered if he missed television and the other more sophisticated trappings he was used to on Earth. Probably not. He seemed happy with his lot in life, the minimalism and back to basics lifestyle. The whole family appeared to be content, and Teal'c glad to be surrounded by them even though he lived alone. She wondered about the latter, however, and thought she might ask him about that.

Getting up, she stretched to galvanize her weary old bones and muscles. Sam could hear Teal'c pottering around next door and she thought it was time to go and join him. Then she noticed something that surprised her even more than the cozy embrace of the room. By the bed, Teal'c had what might be called a nightstand. Perched on top amongst the ubiquitous candles, was the photograph of her and Jack she had given Teal'c before he left Minnesota.

Sam picked it up, sitting down again on the plain wooden chair next to the bed and staring at it for a long time, longingly reminiscing about her husband, as she did so frequently. Holding the glass to her lips, she kissed his image and then hugged it to her breast, wishing he were with her now, and always. No doubt, it would ever be thus.

She remembered returning home from their honeymoon. After many jokes about Antarctica, Alaska and Iceland, or other cold places, Jack surprised Sam by whisking her away for a lazy and luxurious beach holiday in Hawaii. Sun, hot white sand and gloriously blue sea, water sports, food, and lots of sex - as much as they could fit into their busy, while also relaxing, schedule.

That was quite an amazing couple of weeks, and neither of them wanted to return to reality. They flew into DC to stay at Jack's, with a couple of days to spare before they had to separate again for their respective jobs. Both dreaded that separation and wanted to make the most of the short time they still had together. As was the way of things in their line of work, they did not know when they might get the chance to spend a few days in each other's company again.

Grumbling about his poor old knees, and making her giggle incessantly, Jack insisted on sweeping Sam off her feet to carry her over the threshold, pulling her into his arms on the other side of his door for a stupendous kiss, which quickly stopped her laughter.

"There's nothing funny about my dilapidated knees," he said with a smirking frown as he pulled back from the kiss.

"I never noticed you had that much of a problem," she replied with a lascivious expression, recalling his athleticism when it came to lovemaking.

"Right, I get it," he said with an equally lewd look.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he pushed her back and turned toward the door to pull in their luggage. Then he left it in the hall and took her hand, leading her to the bedroom.

"You'll kill me," he commented with a grin, as his nimble fingers unbuttoned her blouse.

"Not if you kill me first," she responded, groping his crotch.

He drew in a ragged breath, a slight moan on his lips. "I'll do my best."

"By all means keep trying."

"Every opportunity I get, Mrs. O'Neill. I kind of like being married to a sex maniac."

She laughed. "I'm the sex maniac?"

"I'm getting past it."

"That's what you think!"

Jack waggled his eyebrows and grinned, removing the rest of her clothing in double quick time and maneuvering her to the bed without so much as another word. His dilapidated knees seemed to stand up to the test exceedingly well.

Her husband was far from being a selfish lover. Sam's experiences had led her to believe that way too many men were, but not Jack, or rarely. Most of the time, he went out of his way to ensure she enjoyed it. He seemed to get more satisfaction from doing so. For Jack, it wasn't simply about sex, but all the other things that surrounded the sexual act.

Rarely did he slide off her afterwards and just go to sleep, a male habit Sam had found irksome in the past. Jack, however, took immense pleasure from both the foreplay and the aftermath, as well as the in between - holding and caressing her, and whispering in her ear. And she loved returning this affection.

That night in DC, the sex was as impassioned as the foreplay, fast and furious rather than slow and tender. This did not mean Sam failed to enjoy it just as much, far from it. Fiery intensity is exciting and fun. The post-coital activity that followed, however, was as leisurely and loving as it could come, which served to enhance their feelings of fulfillment.

They were both silent and at peace for a long time, and the only reason they knew each other were still awake was because the light touch of fingertips continued to languidly caress bare flesh.

"I never thought I'd get here, Sam," Jack whispered. Her head was snuggled into his neck, and she did not move it to look at his face.

"You mean married?" she asked, seeking clarity.

"Yeah. After Sara, I never believed it would be possible again. When she left me, it hurt like hell. My fault, but that didn't stop it hurting. I thought I would never stop hurting. Charlie, Sara… I lost everything I cared about, everything that had kept me sane and human."

Sam felt a pang of jealousy about his ex-wife. She realized it was unreasonable, but reason is not always easy. As Jack rarely spoke about his wife, or Charlie, Sam figured she should just take his words for what they were; a need to talk, to confide.

Normally, when Jack did that, she did everything to encourage his confidence because she appreciated that the private and guarded man she loved did not open up lightly or for no reason. She also treasured that he did so with her when things might have been very different, even though she was his wife.

Sam reasoned it was natural to feel jealous of a man's ex. She knew Jack had been happy with Sara for many years and, if Charlie had not died, she had no doubt they would still be married. Jack was that kind of man. He had loved his wife dearly, loved his marriage, his son, the whole package.

That was Sam's problem right there. She knew some little part of Jack's love for his ex had never died. Although he claimed to be at fault, he had not initiated the break-up. Probably he never would have, even though he had deliberately distanced himself from Sara after Charlie died.

This was how he coped, how he mourned. It had nothing to do with his love for his wife, although Sam was not sure Sara had truly understood that. From Sara's perspective, Jack had withdrawn and failed to support her when she needed him most. This withdrawal was the final act in destroying their marriage, although the death of a child is a common cause of break-up in those circumstances. However, Sam had seen them together only a year or so after they had split up, and she saw how they both felt then. It was obvious they cared deeply for one another.

She figured they could have healed in time, if Jack had tried. He hadn't tried. If she knew her husband, he had probably feared trying, dreading failure as well as believing he deserved whatever punishment he got. So he had not welcomed it, but he accepted his fate.

If the break-up had been acrimonious from Jack's point of view, then things might have been different. As it stood, Sam knew he still held Sara in his heart and soul. She had no doubt that her husband loved her, but she resented and envied the kernel of love for his ex that remained.

If she confessed this to Jack, he would probably tell her she was being foolish. It was not something she wanted to risk admitting, or not yet, and she certainly did not want to discourage him from talking about his marriage and son if he felt so inclined. Trying to brush off her jealousy, therefore, she kissed his neck and gave him a supportive squeeze.

"I didn't think I could ever risk love again," he continued. "It was too painful and I didn't have the stomach for it. But you came along." He paused to run his fingers down her spine and then shifted position so he could look into her eyes.

Sam opened her mouth to say something and he held a finger to her lips to stop her, wanting to finish what he had started before she spoke.

"I think I was still in love with Sara when we met, but then I started to fall for you. I was attracted to you from early on, but that isn't the same thing. It took me a long time to realize I was falling, Sam, but I fell good and hard. Something always stood between us, and it wasn't just the regs. I couldn't let myself go, I couldn't go there again. Or that's what I thought when I let myself think at all. You know me. I try to avoid thinking altogether. It makes my brain hurt."

He grinned and she giggled, but said nothing, simply meeting his gaze with what she hoped was a reassuring expression.

"Now…" he said, "I don't know how I waited so long for this. I should have retired years ago and gone for it."

"You wouldn't have been happy doing that," she said, speaking up for the first time since he had started. "And we needed you, Jack - the SGC, SG-1. We weren't ready for this, neither of us."

He looked thoughtful, seemingly rolling her words around in his mind and considering. "Maybe. But there were many times when I did need exactly this. Maybe I forgot what I was missing, but being alone sucks."

"I know," she agreed with a small nod and wistful smile, although she had never understood what she was missing, not until she started sharing her life with Jack. This was a new experience for Sam. Her previous long term relationships with Pete and Jonas had not prepared her. With Jack, it was entirely different.

They lapsed into silence again, settling into each other's arms, and Jack's soft and steady breathing lulled Sam. His eyes were closed but his fingertips kept moving over her bare skin, so she knew he was awake, and she watched his peaceful face, thoughts remaining on Sara. Finally, she plucked up courage to probe about one of the issues at the forefront of her mind.

"I always wondered why you never got back with Sara." Jack opened his eyes, snapping his head back to look at her and appearing surprised by the comment. His pause prompted her to continue. "You said you still loved her after you broke up, so why didn't you try?"

"If that's what she had wanted, she wouldn't have divorced me." He sounded so certain that the words gave Sam pause to consider whether she had been wrong, but she decided she was not.

"You know that's not true," she said earnestly. "I don't think you even believe it yourself."

"What are you, a mind reader?" Surprised and troubled by what he detected in Sam's tone, his manner seemed slightly snippy and defensive. He stopped caressing her with his fingers, and that bothered Sam. Instead of getting upset about it, though, she softly started to trace her index finger over the contours of his face.

Not sure how to read his reaction, she wondered briefly whether to press on or not, but went for it. 'Why the heck not?' she thought, realizing she might not get another opportunity for a while.

"Jack, I saw you together, remember? It was so obvious she still cared about you and you about her." Jack half smiled at her, leaning into her fingertip slightly, and sighing.

"Sure, we cared. You don't just stop caring about someone you loved. But it was too late for us. Our time had passed." He studied her face carefully, placing his hand over hers on his face and grasping it gently to make a point. "Does it bother you? Me and Sara? That I was married before, had another life, another family?"

"Sometimes," she replied reluctantly.

He was forcing her to confess her fears, confront them. This was not what she wanted to happen, but Sam figured she asked for it by persisting with the subject.

"I love you," he said, sensing hesitation and unease and speaking in a quiet, reassuring tone. He continued to clutch her hand, moving it to nestle in his against his chest. "I don't want anyone but you." Sam found the rise and fall of his chest against her hand as reassuring as his words, but still picked him up on what he was telling her, curious to hear his response.

"But you still love her, don't you?"

He stared at her for a while, uncertain how to respond and biting his bottom lips fretfully. Then he managed to find what he hoped were the right words of reassurance.

"Not in any way you should worry about. For crying out loud, Sam, this is what I've wanted for a very long time now – us! It will always be you. That's why I regret waiting so long, that's what I started out to say. I guess I led myself astray. I shouldn't have mentioned Sara. I just wanted you to know you make me happy. I never thought I'd get that again."

"Oh, Jack," she replied, leaning closer to peck him on the lips. "I suppose I just envy all those years she got with you, all that time you loved her. It's stupid, isn't it? Irrational?"

"Not irrational," he replied with a small smile as his thumb traced over the back of her hand. "Sara will always hold a special place in my heart, and if she was in trouble and needed me I'd help her. You understand that, don't you? But you're my wife, the woman I'm in love with. I chose you… this." Suddenly he let go of her hand and allowed his to dance in the air in a wild gesticulation at nothing in particular. "Your place in my heart is in the here and now, and the future, not in the past. We'll get our years."

Sam smiled softly and gave him another squeeze, hoping he was right about those years. The more the better as far as she was concerned.

"I love you, Jack, and I don't want you to stop talking about Sara just because you think it makes me uncomfortable. I like you telling me about your past, learning new things about you, how you feel."

"We're gonna have one hell of a marriage, Sam," he commented with a grin, kissing along her jaw and over her cheek, and then her lips and mouth with increasing passion.

"One hell of a marriage?" she said when the kissing stopped and he was caressing her naked back. "Yeahsureyabetchya!"

Smiling, Jack kissed her forehead, nuzzling his lips into it before whispering softly. "I hope I make you as happy as you'll make me."

"I'm staking my life on that."

Their conversation descended back into silence, and it was then that Jack started to drift off into a doze, holding her in his arms, and Sam closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift off with him.

Saddened by memories of Jack and how lonely she was now he was gone, she found herself cheered by the notion of going fishing with Teal'c. The act of fishing reminded her of her husband, but what did not? The salving peace of casting a line and waiting for a fish to bite or not, with the tranquil Teal'c by her side, might be just the diversion she needed.

She hoped he felt as rested as her, that he had not suffered an uneasy night because she had usurped his rightful place in his comfortable bed. Replacing the photo on the nightstand, Sam determinedly thrust thoughts of her husband from her mind and went to join her old friend, hoping she could help with any chores that needed completing before they set off for the lake.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Enduring Time

Title: Enduring Time

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Sam and Teal'c's fishing trip uncovers some astonishing revelations

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes:

1. I realize I have kept you waiting for this chapter for quite some time. I was on a long and well deserved vacation in Canada, attending Gatecon in Vancouver and then travelling around. Sorry and all that, but Richard Dean Anderson came first! Rick, Vancouver, Gatecon, other Gatecon guests, the great fellow fans I met at the con, playing tourist around other parts of British Columbia and the Canadian Rockies, and so on... oh, and the bears. Mustn't forget the bears! Did I already mention Richard Dean Anderson, btw… and Gatecon… and the bears? :-D

2. Thanks to ImmerRDA for reading through this story and making helpful suggestions. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own. Also thanks to all of you who are reading this series and letting me know how much you enjoy it. I truly appreciate your feedback and encouragement!

**Enduring Time: Chapter 13**

_Previously:_

Saddened by memories of Jack and how lonely she was now he was gone, she found herself cheered by the notion of going fishing with Teal'c. The act of fishing reminded her of her husband, but what did not? The salving peace of casting a line and waiting for a fish to bite or not, with the tranquil Teal'c by her side, might be just the diversion she needed.

She hoped he felt as rested as her, that he had not suffered an uneasy night because she had usurped his rightful place in his comfortable bed. Replacing the photo on the nightstand, Sam determinedly thrust thoughts of her husband from her mind and went to join her old friend, hoping she could help with any chores that needed completing before they set off for the lake.

_The story continues:_

Teal'c slept uneasily, not because of the different bed on which he lay, but because of the woman who occupied his. Her unexpected arrival confounded him when he believed he had found some equilibrium once more after his trip to Earth for O'Neill's funeral.

The loss of his friend had been bad enough, but staying with Samantha had dredged up memories and emotions he had wanted to suppress, and his yearning for O'Neill's wife at such a time was difficult, inducing additional guilt. His old friend was dead and Teal'c mourned the loss. It was dishonorable to think of his wife that way when he was there to pay his respects. Any occasion made such a meeting with Samantha hard for Teal'c, but that one had been doubly so.

Now he was nonplussed all over again. She was so close he could touch, but only as a friend might. Even after all these years, he still longed for more. Restless and haunted, he tossed and turned, sleeping little and remembering better days - days lost to Samantha but never to him. Also remembering his friend, O'Neill, what he owed him and the life they had shared.

It had never been Teal'c's intention that his woman would be one of the things he shared with O'Neill, but he could do nothing to change that despite often wishing he could. At other times, he felt no remorse because those years spent with Samantha had been too extraordinary to regret. That night his conscience troubled him, despite the conversation with O'Neill when he appeared to forgive Teal'c for something his friend had not known for certain to be true.

Clearly, O'Neill believed it possible. Despite any heartache or resentment this might have caused, he had not wished for his wife to suffer, apparently preferring that she be happy rather than lonely and dejected. This made him an exceptional person. O'Neill loved Samantha enough to let her go if necessary. He cherished freedom and free will.

It had always been so and Teal'c had seen this from the very beginning, admiring that trait in his friend. It had puzzled and frustrated the Jaffa when it came to the unresolved nature of O'Neill and Samantha's relationship for those many years.

Samantha had wounded O'Neill deeply when she chose to betroth herself to another man, but his friend had not fought for her when Teal'c believed he should have. Teal'c thought he understood O'Neill's very human motives to some extent, although they were not necessarily the ways of Jaffa.

O'Neill believed what Samantha did with her life was her choice and it was not his place to intervene. He wished for her to be happy and was not sure he was the person who could bring her that happiness. Besides, he was not in a position to pursue Samantha at that time because he was her commanding officer. It was a complex situation fraught with difficulties for both O'Neill and Samantha.

Nonetheless, her feelings for O'Neill were apparent to Teal'c, although they obviously had not been so to his friend. The couple made it in the end, after a long hard struggle. Then, there was the Odyssey and O'Neill once again demonstrated his tendency to sacrifice himself for her. He offered forgiveness for what he suspected might have happened between them during those lost years.

Teal'c considered Samantha blessed to have found such a man, because he was not sure he could have done likewise had their situations been reversed. Although he forgave Drey'auc for her marriage to another man, that situation was quite different. The memories of his late wife troubled him even more, heightening his restlessness.

Now, as he pottered around in his large living space with senses ever alert, he knew Samantha was about to enter the room before she opened the door. Teal'c took a deep breath to prepare and turned to face her. A broad smile made her shine as she came in, and he smiled back and bowed.

"Good morning, Samantha. You slept well I hope."

"Your bed is very comfortable, Teal'c, but maybe I slept too well. What must your family have thought when I fell asleep at their party?"

"Do not concern yourself. They understand."

Sam sighed regretfully. "Getting old is a pain in the ass."

"Indeed," he readily agreed, his eyes dancing with merriment. Teal'c had heard her utter those words before, and they evoked O'Neill as he could imagine his old friend saying the exact same thing.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asked.

"Very well." The lie tripped from his tongue as if it was the truth because he dared not be truthful. Truth would raise too many questions that he was not prepared to answer. He turned back to what he had been doing, deliberately evading her gaze.

Silently and curiously, she watched him for a short while. He stoked the fire of the stove and placed a pot upon it. Roughly hewn plates and mugs sat at the side of the stove along with sturdy pots and pans. They were plainly crafted, but nonetheless attractive and practical. For the first time, she noticed jars on a shelf close to the stove. From the rafters above them hung bunches of drying herbs.

"Do you feel up to giving me a cuddle?" she asked in a small voice with a touch of plaintiveness. Teal'c turned and stared at her wordlessly for a few moments, heart pounding, before he moved and opened his arms to welcome her.

"Always, Samantha." She snuggled against his broad chest and Teal'c enclosed her in his embrace. "You think of O'Neill," he said, assuming this was why she required comfort.

"Yes. I think about him a lot."

"Understandable." He smoothed a hand over the small of her back and she sighed contentedly before speaking.

"The photograph…" she started as if explaining.

"Perhaps I should remove it…" he said in a tone filled with concern, and Sam felt him stiffen, apparently about to pull away.

"No!" She looked up at him and their eyes locked. Briefly, she saw a depth of feeling in his gaze that shook her slightly. Then he pulled his eyes away and looked down so she could not read his confusion and anguish.

"I take great pleasure in that photograph," he said more evenly than he felt. "It reminds me of old friends, and old times. You made a handsome couple."

Teal'c often stared at the photo at night, remembering their camaraderie, the good and bad times they had spent together, and his years with Samantha. He was pleased to have a photograph of her, although O'Neill's presence made it both harder and easier to bear. As ever, this issue perplexed Teal'c. The complexities of the emotions frequently tore him in two. It perturbed him that two of the people he loved most dearly in this universe outside of his own family should elicit these conflicting emotions.

"Thanks, Teal'c, that's sweet. I always thought so," she replied, and he caressed her back affectionately for a while before pulling away slightly, ready to withdraw his embrace. But he still did not move.

"We must eat," he said, "and then I have some chores to attend to before we depart for the lake."

"I'll make breakfast, then I can help."

"Breakfast is almost ready. I do not wish you to overtax yourself, Samantha."

"You worry too much. I'll be fine. I'd like to help, really I would. Don't make me sit around on my butt all day doing nothing. I do enough of that back home."

Sam sniffed the air, luxuriating in the familiar smells that assailed her nostrils. She had been too preoccupied to take much notice of her sense of smell.

"Coffee? Bread?" she queried, eyebrows arching with surprise and wondering about her sluggish senses, as she surely should have noticed before. Must be getting old, she thought once again, with regret.

He smiled and nodded, explaining. "I have already prepared coffee. There are some things about Earth that I miss, and coffee is one of them. Daniel Jackson has much to answer for, including my craving for caffeine."

Sam laughed. "You get coffee?"

"Along with the regular supplies of tretonin for those who require it."

"And food?"

"This morning we have fresh bread, from dough that Kar'yn supplied, and preserves made by Sha'lok. I have placed oatmeal on the stove to make porridge. I am afraid there is little to do as I have already done it. There are some freshly laid eggs if you wish…"

"Porridge and fresh bread for breakfast sounds good." She sniffed the air again, grinning at the enticing smell. "I'd almost forgotten what fresh bread smells like."

"My family treats me most royally."

"Indeed," she replied with a wink, and Teal'c's smile broadened. It felt good to have Samantha there to share his home. Too good. His arms still hung loosely around her, but his consternation about such thoughts made him drop them, take a step back and move away.

"I shall inform your escort that breakfast is ready," he said as an excuse to cover his actions and discomfort.

Sam said nothing as he left the cabin to find Mike and Denis, who returned with him shortly. She smiled a greeting to the two men, muttering good mornings, and spoke little as Teal'c approached his fireplace and started to clatter around with plates, cups and breakfast.

"Let me," Sam said spying a basket on the floor. She picked it up and started putting supplies into it to give the airmen. Teal'c watched as she did so, distracted by her movement. She handed Mike the basket, filled with bread and preserves and two bowls of porridge, along with mugs of coffee to Denis. The men acknowledged the food and drink with thanks and took the hint, leaving to eat outside.

Teal'c looked on as she moved around, silently but gracefully, his thoughts filled with secret yearning and nostalgia for what once was. It was true that Samantha had grown old. He could not deny that, they both had. However, she was still beautiful and simply watching her gave him much pleasure.

Despite the grey hair and lines on her face, he continued to be attracted to her just as he had been throughout their many years as companions on board the Odyssey. Although they might have aged, it seemed what lay in their hearts never had.

Samantha's love for O'Neill remained strong and always would, just as his feelings for her would haunt him forever. Teal'c knew he would always love her, until the last breath left his body. It pained him to think so, but he could deny it no more than he could deny the passing of the years.

Then, as she started to place food on the table for the two of them, he broke out of his reverie. "They could have joined us, Samantha," he said and she grasped his arm affectionately.

"We get little enough time alone, Teal'c."

"Then I welcome what time we have," he replied, holding her gaze for a while before tearing his eyes away and sitting to eat.

Leaning over him, Sam placed her hands gently on his neck and kissed his forehead. Teal'c would have liked nothing better than to pull her closer and rest his head in her ample breast, but dared not move. He could barely even breathe.

"It's so good to see you Teal'c," she whispered and he reached his arms up around her waist and squeezed her softly.

"Likewise. I am pleased that you came," he confessed, fighting an urge to pull her onto his knee and kiss her.

She drew back, moving to her own place at the table, opposite Teal'c, and they ate in companionable silence. For Sam, the occasion made her think of her husband and feel grateful for the easy company she had missed so much. For Teal'c, it reminded him of different times, a different reality, and both of them felt some contentment that neither of them had for quite a while.

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The day was cloudless and warm and Sam could see the sun reflecting brightly on the lake as they ambled slowly toward it. Once again, the rippling water glinted and shimmered as if fairies danced upon its surface.

'Nice day for fishing,' she thought.

Sam walked with her arm laced through Teal'c's, her head dipping onto his shoulder. In their free arms, she held their fishing rods and he carried a basket with some provisions for later, with water and a drink similar to lemonade that Kar'yn had made from a local citrus like fruit. She had taken a small sip before they left and declared it delicious. It zinged on the taste buds, sharp yet sweet at the same time, and thirst quenching too she imagined.

Mike walked ahead, apparently relaxed, although Sam knew he was subtly vigilante, and Denis brought up their rear. Earlier, she had sought out the two men, ostensibly to collect the basket and dirty earthenware. She told Teal'c that she would clean the dishes while he carried out other odd jobs. This gave her an opportunity to speak to Mike and follow up their conversation of the previous night.

"I meant what I said about you coming to see me in Minnesota if you want to," she reiterated.

"I sure would like that ma'am. It would be an honor," he replied with a deadpan expression, pleased with her confirmation. He wanted to take her up on that offer and talk about her very full life, and her husband's.

"An honor? Oh puleeze!" she said in a tone something like Jack might have used. "You'd be doing me a favor. I'd like the company, and reminiscing. Old people get like that you know." She winked and flashed him a teasing smirk. "And maybe then you'll call me Sam."

"Maybe." The corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile and she grinned, forcing a bigger smile.

Her grin faded as she considered the terms she had given him for his visit. "I don't want to force you into a difficult situation with that woman you told me about."

"Jane."

"Yes. Seriously, Mike, you can come alone if you like. I just wanted… wanted…"

"You didn't want me to make the same mistakes you think you made, right?"

"Right."

"Maybe waiting was the right thing to do ma'am. Maybe it was the right time for you and General O'Neill."

She looked at him thoughtfully, nodding and the smile reappearing. "You could be right about that. I've often thought about it."

It was true that this was something she had considered. Their time came when they were ready for it and not before. If they had got together any earlier, perhaps they would have failed. It was conceivable.

"You might want to at least consider doing something about her, though. Let her know you are waiting," she added.

"I'll think about it, Sam. Thanks for the advice."

She smiled at his use of her forename and grasped his arm lightly, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

"Okay. That's all I can ask." She moved away. "I'd better take these back, she said indicating the basket. After that, the relationship became more formal again. The protector and the protected.

Now as they walked, she turned her mind to her companion, Teal'c, raising her head to glance at him. He missed the weight, its absence reminding him of how much he would miss her when she returned to Earth. His gut roiled at that notion and he wished she could stay for the rest of their lives, but knew it was improbable. Teal'c realized he had to be practical about this and just live the moments while they lasted, nursing his heartache once she left and seeking solace in his ever growing family.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" she asked and, although Teal'c looked slightly uncomfortable about the idea he said nothing to deny her and merely nodded agreement. She took a breath and plunged on. "What happened to Ishta? Why are you alone? I always thought…"

She did not finish as Sam knew he understood the intent of her probing. He paused in his stride, and she stopped with him, looking at him expectantly. Typically, he remained silent for a while, as if weighing up his reply long and hard.

"I loved her in my own way, Samantha, but neither of us loved enough," he responded eventually, meeting her gaze at last.

"I guess you were both too independent and strong-willed."

He smiled wistfully, as if remembering. "Perhaps that is so. Leading her people was always more important to her, just as my fight for freedom was more important to me. Rightly so. I have no regrets and nor, I suspect, does she."

"Do you ever see her?"

"Not for a few years, although we stayed in contact with each other for a very long time. We were together whilst also remaining apart."

Sam thought she got his drift. The pair had remained lovers, but that was all. Something like friends with benefits, she imagined, although Teal'c would probably never acknowledge such a concept.

"So you were unsuited for something more… permanent, I suppose," she commented. "That's a pity. You deserve more."

"Do not pity me, Samantha," he said with feeling, his gaze remaining firmly on her eyes. "Pity is not something I seek. I have been happy enough. I have lived well and, more to the point, I have lived free."

She smiled. "I don't pity you, Teal'c. I just wish things could have been different for you. But, I'm happy you got everything you wanted in life."

"Not everything," he replied, his eyes leaving hers and moving away awkwardly to look at the ground. "But enough."

Sam said nothing, pondering those words, and she gave him a slight tug, indicating they should continue. Teal'c was grateful when she did not probe further as he was not sure he could bear that.

When they reached the edges of the lake, Teal'c led them to a suitable place for fishing. Much to her surprise, there was a small wooden dock built out onto the lake. Moored at the dock were a couple of small boats.

"A dock? It's lovely. It looks a bit like the one at our cabin."

"I built it, modeling it on O'Neill's," Teal'c replied proudly.

"Oh?" The thought pleased her. "Why didn't you bring me here yesterday?" she queried.

"There is not much to show you within easy distance of my cabin Samantha. We live simple lives that must seem too uninteresting to a Tauri used to more. I thought to keep it as a surprise."

"It's certainly that." She squeezed his arm affectionately and grinned. "But I doubt I'll get bored Teal'c. I'm enjoying your company. That's enough. It's what I came all this way for."

He returned her smile, delighted she said so. "If you stay long enough, perhaps I can borrow the horse and cart from Ry'ac and take you further afield."

"A horse and cart? He has one of those? I guess you must get around somehow, but I never really thought about it."

"We could travel to the foothills, or the next settlement. There is a larger settlement a few miles from here. What you might call a town or perhaps more of a large village in Tauri terms. A market is held there each week."

"I'd really like that, Teal'c. I'd love to see how you live here and meet more of your friends."

'There is more to this place than meets the eye," Sam thought, pondering many questions she might ask about Teal'c's lifestyle and adopted home. She believed these could keep for now so things could unfold gradually, and so Teal'c could surprise her if that pleased him. It was more fun that way.

"Then I will make it so." Having enjoyed her close proximity, Teal'c relinquished her arm reluctantly. "We should fish," he said.

"Yeah. That's what we're here for. Um, just a thought but what are we going to sit on?" This was something that had not crossed her mind until now. She had not expected the dock to be here and had supposed they would find a log or something like they had the previous day.

"That is another surprise." Teal'c said and Sam nearly laughed at his unexpectedly boyish expression, but thought this might hurt him unintentionally. He looked to be enjoying himself tremendously.

He walked toward the dock and she followed him, taken aback to see him veer from that path over to a small rocky outcrop close by. From a fissure in the outcrop, he pulled out a waterproof tarpaulin and underneath it were some comfortable looking folding chairs.

"I still enjoy some Tauri luxuries in addition to caffeine," he explained.

Sam decided she could now loose that laugh she was bottling up. "Oh my god, Teal'c, that's priceless!" she exclaimed with amusement.

"Indeed," he agreed with a smirk. "I keep them here to protect them from the weather. This is one reason I chose this spot for the dock."

"You just leave them there? Doesn't anyone steal them?"

"There is little criminal activity here," he responded. "My Jaffa brethren are free to use both this dock and these chairs should they so desire, although this stretch forms part of the family's land."

Sam's eyes widened at that. It was quite a large parcel of land. "This, your place and Ry'ac's?" she queried.

"Far larger than you imagine, Samantha. Much of what you see when you turn to face inland belongs to me. I share it with my family and friends. When I am gone, it will pass to Ry'ac."

From these words, it sounded to Sam like he was the equivalent of a landowner with tenants. "Do the other Jaffa that live on your land pay you rent?" she asked curiously.

"We have little use for money here. This is a community, Samantha. One we have built up over a long number of years. We barter and they pay me with their generosity, support and kinship."

"Teal'cland?" she quipped and he chuckled with amusement at the idea.

"You may call it that if you wish. I call it home."

Sam could not resist giving him a cuddle for that so she approached and wrapped her arms around him briefly.

"Sweet!" she said, reminding him of her husband.

Mike and Denis stepped forward to help with the chairs, taking one each and placing them in strategic positions on the dock. Then, they moved away again, keeping their distance to give the pair their privacy, but sat watchfully while Sam and Teal'c set about fishing.

"Jack used to sit for hours like this," said Sam as she cast her line. "He could relax, think - or not!" she laughed and Teal'c smiled. "It was one of his ways of healing, taking stock, getting his sanity back. I never really understood that, not for years. I don't think any of us did. We should have gone to the cabin with him more often."

"O'Neill was more reflective and philosophical than most people supposed. I believe he often preferred being alone when fishing. He did not wish for his peace to be disturbed."

"Yeah, you could be right. And he sure could be a very intense man. Deep. You got that about him quicker than the rest of us did."

"Perhaps."

Teal'c was sitting to her right and Sam glanced at him sideways, taking her fishing rod in her left hand and reaching over with her right to squeeze his. He caught her eye and she smiled, withdrawing the hand and looking back out over the lake.

"He related to you, Teal'c. Better than to the rest of us, I think. You had a bond with him quite unlike me and Daniel," she said.

"I loved him like a brother."

"He felt the same way about you." She turned to look at him again and he inclined his head in acknowledgement.

"I am aware."

"Good. I'm glad you know."

The pair fell silent for a while, both staring out over the lake. Once again, in the distance a few craft bobbed up and down on its calm blue water. Sam's mind boggled at the notion of peaceful Jaffa fishermen. It seemed odd, but times change.

"Do these belong to you too?" she asked Teal'c, indicating the two small boats tied up alongside the dock.

"The family."

"The extended family?"

Teal'c nodded. "Indeed. Do you wish to take one out onto the lake?" he asked, looking in her direction.

"That might be nice. Another day perhaps." She sighed. "This is so peaceful. Relaxing." Teal'c did not reply and turned away to watch his fishing line. He agreed but felt no need to say so. He was happy to sit there tranquilly with Samantha.

They spent much of their time fishing in companionable silence, with snatched exchanges sneaking in here and there. Sam brooded, however, with something on her mind she wanted to raise with Teal'c. Eventually, she decided that as no time was the right time, now was as good as any. When she finally spoke up, she said something that made Teal'c's heart leap into his throat and disturbed him deeply.

"Teal'c, tell me about my mother's necklace. I know you have it so I must have given it to you. What happened?"

She was not looking at him when she spoke but out of the corner of her eye, Sam saw him stiffen. Worried he might withdraw from her, she dropped the fishing gear and grasped his arm, hoping that doing so would stop him from retreating.

It was Teal'c's natural inclination to do so as the question perturbed him. When she tightened her grip on his arm, however, he refrained. The old warrior was enjoying her proximity too much, something he found disconcerting after all this time. But, a thrill ran through him too. It was confusing and Teal'c tried not to reveal that uncertainty.

This was a totally unexpected turn of events. As his friend O'Neill might have said, oh crap!

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Enduring Time

Author's notes: Many thanks, as usual, to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story and thereby helping me improve it.

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Teal'c believed Samantha would never learn about the lifetime they had spent together on the Odyssey. Is she about to uncover his long held secret?

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

**Enduring Time: Chapter 14**

_Previously: _

They spent much of their time fishing in companionable silence, with snatched exchanges sneaking in here and there. Sam brooded, however, with something on her mind she wanted to raise with Teal'c. Eventually, she decided that as no time was the right time, now was as good as any. When she finally spoke up, she said something that made Teal'c's heart leap into his throat and disturbed him deeply.

"Teal'c, tell me about my mother's necklace. I know you have it so I must have given it to you. What happened?"

She was not looking at him when she spoke but out of the corner of her eye, Sam saw him stiffen. Worried he might withdraw from her, she dropped the fishing gear and grasped his arm, hoping that doing so would stop him from retreating.

It was Teal'c's natural inclination to do so as the question perturbed him. When she tightened her grip on his arm, however, he refrained. The old warrior was enjoying her proximity too much, something he found disconcerting after all this time. But, a thrill ran through him too. It was confusing and Teal'c tried not to reveal that uncertainty.

This was a totally unexpected turn of events. As his friend O'Neill might have said, oh crap!

_The story continues:_

Teal'c's silence seemed long and Sam was just about to press him when he spoke. "If you cannot remember, then you know there is good reason that I should say nothing."

"The Odyssey," she started, looking at him at last, but he refused to meet her eyes. It reminded her of Jack, who frequently did the same thing when the discussion was awkward or upsetting. "Could it hurt to know after all this time? I'm an old woman, now, Teal'c. What difference can it make?"

With difficulty, he sought the courage to face her, but finally did so. "What do you wish to know?"

She had guessed, of course, why else would she have given him her necklace? His reaction confirmed her thoughts, but Sam wanted to hear it from him.

"I know this is a biggie, but tell me what happened between us on the Odyssey."

Teal'c thought his heart might have stopped briefly and he fought to control the emotions that still boiled within him after all these years. He had missed Samantha - confiding, sharing, loving, and so much more.

As he said nothing, she pressed. "You're surprised I asked, aren't you?

"Indeed." He longed to pull his eyes away from her penetrating gaze but found himself helplessly enmeshed, as if entranced.

"And surprised I might have considered it possible?"

"Perhaps."

"You shouldn't be surprised. We were close friends."

"Who betrayed another close friend," he said impassively. Teal'c was a model of self control. He could not let his feelings out or the floodgates might open and that notion scared him – how he might react, how Samantha might. O'Neill would have been proud of his restraint.

She heaved a big sigh. "So, I guess that means we were lovers, right?"

Sam wanted him to admit it, to confirm it for sure. Hints did not help much, although she knew in her heart that they had been. Searching his face, she tried to discern his thoughts and feelings, but could not. His expression was studiously neutral, once again just as her late husband's might have been in similar circumstances. When he did not reply she continued, provoked by her own thoughts.

"Sometimes you remind me of Jack. You hide your feelings too well."

Her tone was sad and he tried to pull his arm away, while she tried to hold onto him. He did, however, manage to rip his eyes from her thrall at last and turn them toward the ground so he could hide his thoughts. It seemed to Teal'c that Samantha had been reading him as her eyes captivated his.

The idea was unsettling and he would have been surprised to realize that, to her, his expression seemed indecipherable. Teal'c could have sworn that what lay in his heart was obvious in his face.

"Please, Samantha," he pleaded, and she acceded to his wishes and loosened her grip, letting her arm fall to her side.

"I'd really like to know," she persisted.

"Why? That is the past, and one you do not even remember. You did not live it."

"Yes, I did. I just don't remember it. But you do."

He took a breath. That he could not bring himself to look at her told Sam a lot. With his head bowed, she just about heard his next words.

"Not long before our final night together, you gave me the necklace as a token of our love. You knew you would not remember but that I would never forget. It was all you could give to express how you felt. It meant much to you and it made the gift more precious. I will treasure it always."

Although it broke his heart to confess after all this time, Teal'c knew he could not lie or pretend with Samantha.

Sam choked at those words. "We must have had something special."

She was certain of this because, if not, she would never have opened herself to such a relationship; not while she and Jack were together. And she must have been very lonely and desolate indeed to have contemplated such a thing. Teal'c too. It would take a lot for either of them to betray the man they both loved and respected so greatly - a man that valued loyalty highly and considered betrayal as the worst possible offence.

Teal'c said nothing and she longed to touch him, to comfort him, but was not certain he would appreciate that. "It must have been hard for you when I returned to Jack and remembered none of it." He remained silent. "Teal'c, please say something."

He turned his head to glance at her, his tone slightly irritated. "What would you wish me to say? I accepted. I endured. You belonged with him. We always knew that. What happened… it only occurred because we were both so alone. We required comfort, companionship…"

"Intimacy," she inserted, remembering well the conversation she'd had with Jack when she returned from the Odyssey.

_"That's in the past, honey," he said on that first night together after her return, referring to any other relationships they might have had. "And it's not like I won the Nobel Prize for Chastity or something, is it? I don't give a damn about what happened with Pete Shanahan, or on the Odyssey. Whatever..." _

_"It's irrelevant. You're here now and we're together. If anything happened on the Odyssey… I'm not sure I'd blame you. Life's too short, right? I've always tried to encourage you to live it. Living it with me is better, but…" he paused contemplatively, a small smile turning to a chuckle. "You don't remember anything so I'll comfort my ego with that." _

_His next words, however, were more serious. "We'll never know what really happened on the Odyssey, but I do know you love me. I'm not trying to imply… Sam, I trust you, don't think for one minute…" He sighed, not quite able to find the right way to express his meaning. "I really wouldn't blame you for wanting... this."_

_"This?" she queried, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on his. _

_"You know what I mean. Sex is great, Sam, but it's not everything. It's the intimacy that really means something; sharing the little moments with someone you care deeply about and who cares deeply about you. This."_

Yes, intimacy. She understood the necessity. The need she must have had for that kind of relationship with Teal'c while stranded together for all those years.

Jack had forgiven her, even though he had never known for sure about Teal'c, because he understood it too. And because he forgave and they had lived such a good life as husband and wife, she could not bring herself to feel guilty. They were happy together and Sam knew it. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Sam imagined, however, that Teal'c might feel otherwise.

"Indeed," Teal'c responded to her intervention, obviously agreeing about the need for intimacy.

"There's no shame in that, Teal'c."

He said nothing, removing his eyes from her gaze once again. Teal'c could be a frustrating man to converse with, she realized. This conversation was akin to squeezing blood from a stone. But she understood his reticence. She must have hurt him. This she regretted.

The pair remained enmeshed, Sam continuing to grasp Teal'c arm and he had not pulled away because he had no genuine desire to. Now, she reached out with her free hand and took hold of his chin, forcing him to face her. He conceded to her desire although it made him feel awkward and inept. Teal'c did not like the feeling. He was used to being in control and it seemed he was losing this with her. It troubled him that she had such power.

"Was I good to you?" she asked, taking him by surprise with that question.

"Yes." The simple reply, along with his look of fondness, told her a lot, perhaps more than he wished it to.

"I'm glad. You deserved better than someone who was married to another."

"It was not like that," he said and Sam thought his manner to be somewhat defensive.

"Then tell me what it was like," she retorted in a tone of frustration. Her hand dropped away from his chin, but they continued to hold each other's gaze.

"I am not certain that I can, or that I should."

"I told you, I'm old now. What does it matter?"

Teal'c smiled somewhat pensively, she thought. "I remember you when you were much older," he replied, and she chuckled. "It matters to me."

"I'm sorry." She looked away, staring into the distance across the lake, eyeing the boats dipping up and down. It was her turn to feel awkward.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Samantha."

"Then why do I feel I do? I'm sorry if I hurt you. I would never have wanted that." She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth, a sure sign of unease.

"It is of no consequence." Teal'c had no desire to make Samantha feel badly about him, so he took a hand in his and she turned to face him again.

"How can you say that? Obviously it was. Still is. I'm not stupid even if I might act it sometimes."

"You are very far from stupid, Samantha. I am content that you lived a long and happy life with O'Neill. You were happy were you not?"

"Yes, of course." She smiled softly, eyes holding a wistful air.

"No doubt you believe your time together was too brief, but none of us have enough time. Life is too short, is it not?"

She chuckled at his use of a well-worn O'Neill phrase. "Indeed," she replied with a humorous glint in her eyes and Teal'c responded with a grin, equally amused that her rejoinder employed one of his own most used expressions. During their long lives together on the Odyssey, such exchanges had been frequent. Samantha exploited that single word with wit, mockery and endearment. In the blink of an eye, she could turn his mood with its application.

Then Sam noticed a rueful expression steal that brief merriment from his features and wondered what he was thinking. He had spoken of betraying a friend and she knew that would have hit him hard. Jack was one of the last people Teal'c would have wished to be disloyal to.

"Jack would have forgiven you, Teal'c. He would have understood better than most people would imagine." Her tone was comforting, but Teal'c did not require her reassurances.

"I am aware. He said as much."

Eyes widening with astonishment, she stared at him with speechless shock for a moment. "He knew about us? You discussed it?" Sam's responding tone was incredulous.

"As much as one ever discussed matters of a personal nature with O'Neill," he said understatedly and she smiled faintly. He was spot on with his thoughts about Jack. "Do not concern yourself Samantha. He did not know about our relationship, he simply considered the possibilities. He extrapolated. O'Neill was no fool. He was a deeply thoughtful man and understood people better than many of them understood him." Sam nodded agreement. If anyone knew that, she did.

"What did he say?" she ventured to ask. It shocked Sam that the two men had ever discussed such possibilities and she was intrigued. Jack was never the talking type. Not about the personal. Not about feelings.

"Nothing, but much," he replied.

Sam wished Teal'c was not so darned enigmatic with his responses sometimes. But then he would not be Teal'c and she was very fond of him just the way he was, despite her frustration.

"A little like you then," she commented, her small smile broadening to a grin, and the corners of Teal'c mouth turned upwards, his eyes lighting up with the smile.

"I am flattered that you think so."

She pondered their situation silently for a while and then spoke again. "Did I love you well?" Sam probed and she heard him hitch a breath as he withdrew from her grip at last, as if her touch pained him. Had she hit such an exposed nerve? It seemed so.

"You should not ask so much." Pulling his eyes away, he stared out over the tranquil blue water.

"Please," she said, wishing he would look at her again so she could see his expression. Tentatively, she reached up a hand to his cheek and stroked it softly with her fingers. Much to her disappointment, Teal'c recoiled.

"Do not do that," he said with a plea in his tone and she withdrew the fingers as if they burned.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… You still feel it, don't you?" she pressed. "Us. Me." He had loved her. Still did, she realized.

"We can not speak of this or you will have to return to Earth and I am not certain I could bear you to. Not yet."

His response was an indirect answer to her question and she felt tears welling up behind her lids. When he heard her sobbing, Teal'c turned back to her.

"Please do not cry, Samantha."

"I can't help it. I can't switch it off just like that."

He said nothing, but responded by pulling his chair closer to hers and placing a broad arm around her shoulder, gently resting her head on his chest. She buried herself in him, dampening his tunic with her sorrowful tears. When her sobs faded, and he felt her shoulders ceasing to shake with them, he spoke again.

"Last time I saw you cry was after O'Neil's funeral. He deserved your tears when I do not."

"I wasn't crying for you, Teal'c, I was crying for me."

"Why?" he asked, puzzled.

"Because I wish I remembered something that must have been special, but I don't and I never will." Her voice was remorseful and Teal'c smoothed her arm with his fingers.

"No. Sometimes I regret that, but you would never have forgiven yourself. Your guilt would have divided you and O'Neill and I could not allow that to happen."

She did not respond, but raised her head to look up at him, replying with a question instead. "Am I the reason you and Ishta…?" Sam tailed off uncertainly and then summoned the courage, although her question was slightly different. "Is that why you are alone?"

"Perhaps," he said in a low voice as he steadily met her gaze, determined not to turn away. If they were going to have this conversation, Teal'c would meet it head on. "We had many happy years together, Samantha. Very many. We lived a lifetime and then it was lost." He strained to keep his voice even as his heart and breath stuttered.

Although he felt uncomfortable with the subject, Teal'c was obligated to be truthful. Now the subject was out in the open he had no wish to pretend either.

His words wrenched Sam's heart. It could not have been easy for him to watch her with Jack after so long, to be so close and yet so far away. He knew she would never return his feelings. Not in their new lifetime. How did he do it? Teal'c never showed her any sign. They remained close colleagues and friends when they returned from the Odyssey. Sam was not sure she would have had that strength.

"Not lost, Teal'c. Not to you," she said, taking his hand in hers to demonstrate her affections. He continued to embrace her and this was a comfort. As long as he kept that arm around her, Sam knew they would be all right. If he withdrew again, it would break her heart. "I do have feelings for you, but those feelings are… different."

What she said was true. Sam felt very close to Teal'c, loved him as a cherished friend, but this was not the Odyssey. They could never go back. Teal'c was not Jack, whom she continued to love very deeply. Always. Yet she would always love Teal'c too, in that different way she alluded to.

"Your feelings for me were always different, Samantha. I know that. I always knew that." Teal'c also understood they could never go back. He had already lived that life with her.

Sam felt uncomfortable with the subject too, even though she had raised it. She did not want things to change between them, to lose what they shared, and hoped that would never happen. But she could not be certain it would not, so she struggled to find the right things to say.

"You're very dear to me and I'm sorry if I've embarrassed or hurt you," she said. "Maybe I shouldn't have come here after all."

"Do not say that," he replied reassuringly. "I am happy you came. I have no regrets. I value you highly as a friend, Samantha, and I enjoy your companionship. I do not wish to lose that friendship but..."

"You'll never lose that, Teal'c," she interrupted hastily. Sam wanted to believe the revelation made no difference, although she had some doubts in her heart, fearing it might change the dynamic of their relationship. "I don't want that either. I should never have said anything, but I had to know for sure. Darn my curiosity."

Teal'c smiled at this, thinking her curiosity, her thirst for knowledge and empirical evidence, was one of the things that made her special. Curiosity was a trait that made humans what they were.

He listened silently while she continued, her fingers smoothing his hand, while he caressed her arm. They were still looking into each other's eyes, which Sam took to be a good sign.

"The morning after Jack's funeral, I saw the necklace in your hand. You hid it quickly once you woke up but it was too late. I'd seen it. That was the wrong time to say anything, and perhaps it was never the right time, even now. At heart, I knew what it meant, or at least suspected. But that wasn't why I came to see you, Teal'c. I came because you are my friend and I need that friendship. I will always need it."

He sighed, thoughts in turmoil, although that consternation barely showed on his placid features. "I did not believe you would ever know."

"And now I do…?"

Teal'c seemed to ponder those words for a while before responding. The truth was they both needed time to digest the revelation and consider how it impacted on their relationship. He had lived with the knowledge of it for a long time but Samantha had not. Her new found awareness probably changed things for both of them. Now she knew, Teal'c was no longer sure how he should behave with her. Some adjustment was probably required. Or perhaps not. Perhaps they could go on as before. The perplexing predicament unsettled him.

Right now, he had no answers to his questions but thought he probably should not treat her any differently than he always had, if he could. Was it possible? There might be some discomfort between them for a while but he hoped they could surmount that obstacle.

Clearly, Samantha wanted to remain friends despite the revelation. Teal'c agreed because to lose that small part of her would break his heart even more than his loss of their relationship on the Odyssey. He had always known this and had lived accordingly, in spite of everything. He was not finding the situation easy, but believed he would bear it. He had to because Teal'c could not contemplate the consequences of doing otherwise.

So, now she knew…?

"I do not know what to say, Samantha," he replied eventually. "I very much hope it changes nothing, but… Perhaps we both need more time to consider."

Sam detected his uncertainty and understood. She was unsettled too. Need more time to consider? She realized they did but, even with everything they had said about continuing friendship, was fearful of the outcome of their thoughts and how all this would affect them.

"I think I understand. This can't be easy for you, Teal'c, I get that. But I never wanted to screw up our friendship," she said, her tone hinting at the sadness she would feel about such a loss. "Jack would probably have said something about thinking too much."

He chuckled, squeezing her arm and nodding. "He would, and sometimes he would have been correct. So know this - I do not believe I could ever cease to be your friend."

"That's good then, right?" she said with a small smile. He smiled back.

"Indeed," he said with a bow of his head. Then he turned his eyes back toward the lake, seemingly deep in thought.

This drew a line under the conversation, at least for now. After that, they said little. Sam leaned her head back on his shoulder and neither of them picked up their fishing rods again. They simply sat looking out over the brightly shimmering lake and contemplated friendship, revelation and change - a good way to spend the afternoon.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Enduring Time

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending", plus Season 4 of Stargate Atlantis, particularly "Reunion" and "Midway"

Summary: "Draw from your past, but do not let your past draw from you" (Teal'c to Sam in Stargate Atlantis Season 4 episode "Reunion")

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Author's notes: Many thanks to my ever patient and long suffering beta reader, ImmerRDA, for her always helpful thoughts and suggestions. Also, to all you readers who continue to enjoy this story for your encouraging and inspiring comments.

**Enduring Time: Chapter 15**

_Previously:_

He sighed, thoughts in turmoil, although that consternation barely showed on his placid features. "I did not believe you would ever know."

"And now I do…?"

Teal'c seemed to ponder those words for a while before responding. The truth was they both needed time to digest the revelation and consider how it impacted on their relationship. He had lived with the knowledge of it for a long time but Samantha had not. Her new found awareness probably changed things for both of them. Now she knew, Teal'c was no longer sure how he should behave with her. Some adjustment was probably required. Or perhaps not. Perhaps they could go on as before. The perplexing predicament unsettled him.

Right now, he had no answers to his questions but thought he probably should not treat her any differently than he always had, if he could. Was it possible? There might be some discomfort between them for a while but he hoped they could surmount that obstacle.

Clearly, Samantha wanted to remain friends despite the revelation. Teal'c agreed because to lose that small part of her would break his heart even more than his loss of their relationship on the Odyssey. He had always known this and had lived accordingly, in spite of everything. He was not finding the situation easy, but believed he would bear it. He had to because Teal'c could not contemplate the consequences of doing otherwise.

So, now she knew…?

"I do not know what to say, Samantha," he replied eventually. "I very much hope it changes nothing, but… Perhaps we both need more time to consider."

Sam detected his uncertainty and understood. She was unsettled too. Need more time to consider? She realized they did but, even with everything they had said about continuing friendship, was fearful of the outcome of their thoughts and how all this would affect them.

"I think I understand. This can't be easy for you, Teal'c, I get that. But I never wanted to screw up our friendship," she said, her tone hinting at the sadness she would feel about such a loss. "Jack would probably have said something about thinking too much."

He chuckled, squeezing her arm and nodding. "He would, and sometimes he would have been correct. So know this - I do not believe I could ever cease to be your friend."

"That's good then, right?" she said with a small smile. He smiled back.

"Indeed," he said with a bow of his head. Then he turned his eyes back toward the lake, seemingly deep in thought.

This drew a line under the conversation, at least for now. After that, they said little. Sam leaned her head back on his shoulder and neither of them picked up their fishing rods again. They simply sat looking out over the brightly shimmering lake and contemplated friendship, revelation and change - a good way to spend the afternoon.

_The story continues:_

Revelation - becoming privy to a friend's long kept and carefully guarded secret - can be an extraordinary thing. The newfound knowledge can play tricks with your mind and make you see past events in a different light. It can make you yearn for more information, wish you could ask questions and get answers to the remaining gaps in your knowledge. This is what it did to Sam now.

She wondered… Wondered about Teal'c's feelings for her before events on the Odyssey threw them together, for example. Wondered if signs of friendship had been symptoms of something more. It made her ponder their past.

Teal'c had been a team mate for many years. At first, working with him had been a little bit bizarre. She accepted him as a team mate because this was what her commanding officers wanted, but she felt slightly uneasy about it for a while. He had been an enemy. He had been Apophis' First Prime.

Jack placed his trust in him from the get go. Teal'c had helped them escape death in his bid for freedom from false gods, ergo, he could be trusted. To Sam, this seemed a simplistic way of looking at things.

At the time, she had not known her new CO for long enough to have faith in this apparent simplicity. She was not sure about his instincts, did not comprehend the intelligence, complexities and depths that lay hidden beneath his seemingly unsophisticated facade. That all grew over time, as did her realization he was right about Teal'c. She quickly learned to trust Jack's gut feelings and Teal'c swiftly proved his value, determination and loyalty to all of them.

Initially, however, she merely obeyed orders. She trusted General Hammond, the old family friend, more than she trusted her maverick CO. Hammond agreed with Jack's assessment of Teal'c and this was good enough. Her relationship with Teal'c changed over the months and years as they grew ever closer. It evolved just as he had evolved into a different person.

Sam barely noticed its evolution. It just happened. They, and he, became different. She almost took it for granted. She did not soul search or analyze, not like she agonized over her relationship with Jack. Teal'c was simply there, a good and close friend, a person she relied on and could trust. He was always there.

This is what happens with friends because such an evolution is not an overnight thing. It takes place over months and years, until it seeps into your very being and becomes such a part of you that you don't even remember when it was not there. It just exists.

Sam was fairly certain Teal'c had only seen her as a friend too. For many years, he had been by her side and sustained her when things got tough. When Jack disappeared, for example, lost with Harry Maybourne, he offered staunch support. He knew she was upset, understood she blamed herself. More than Jack ever blamed her, although she would have deserved her CO's displeasure. Teal'c watched her closely during that difficult time, sought her out in the locker room, held her and comforted her.

He knew then how she felt about Jack. He had known for a long time, possibly even before they had ever realized they had inappropriate feelings about each other - even before he had witnessed their confessions during the Zat'arc testing all those years ago. Teal'c was observant like that.

So, Sam wondered how long Teal'c had held those inappropriate feelings for her. That far back? Perhaps. Certainly, they had grown even closer in those latter years as team mates. Much closer. She probably would never know how long he had loved her before that time on the Odyssey, if he had at all. It was not a question she believed she could ask. Teal'c would probably be mortified if she probed and Sam thought she might have rocked the emotional boat enough already.

After the Odyssey, though, that was definitely different. He had loved her then, had watched her with Jack and revealed nothing. Unrequited love. How hard that must have been for him. She knew something of how it felt because of her history with Jack, although those feelings had never truly been unrequited. Rather, both she and Jack had thrust them aside - ignoring, avoiding, hiding, burying them deep.

Sam and Teal'c shared many special moments in those latter years. Moments that might have meant something different if she had known about the Odyssey. Poignant moments.

She recalled their fond farewell just before she left the SGC for her tour of duty on Atlantis. Sam was packing and thought he might have been standing in the doorway for a while before speaking, although she was not certain. She felt his eyes upon her just as he spoke.

"On the day I left Chulak," he said, announcing his presence, "Master Bra'tac said to me, "Draw from your past, but do not let your past draw from you.""

Good advice, she thought, and told him so. Now, she wondered whether reminding him of these words would help Teal'c clarify whatever thoughts were going through his mind. Back then, she said something about missing the SGC.

"And all of you," she added. How true this was. Jack in particular, she recalled, trying to shrug off those thoughts of her husband. She was way too prone to drift away into contemplating him and their past, but right now seemed the time to be thinking about Teal'c.

He smiled, she remembered. Teal'c smiled more frequently in those latter days of SG-1. He had an attractive smile and it made her want to smile too.

"I would have been offended had you felt otherwise," he replied, continuing to beam. Now Sam considered it, she wondered if that grin hid more somber thoughts.

She recalled exactly what was on her mind at the time. Somewhat regretful, like she was leaving too soon, leaving things unfinished. Ten years was a long time to work so closely with people, to fight side by side, and then to simply walk away and leave it all behind.

When she expressed these fears to Teal'c, he was comfortingly reassuring, as he so often was. Atlantis needed her now, he said, and Sam hoped he was right. Hoped she could pull it off, make him proud. Her husband too. They were sacrificing a lot for her career opportunity, but Jack encouraged and supported her all the way. Just like her friends. Just like Teal'c.

On reflection, their farewells that day must have been even harder for him than they were for her. A shared history she knew nothing about. Sam realized, had their situations been reversed she would not have found it easy.

"Your work will continue, only in a different place," Teal'c said back then. "You have been bestowed an incredible honor, Colonel Carter, and I believe you should embrace it. And know this: though we may not be leaving with you, SG-1 will never be far away." Words intended to instill confidence, and articulate a goodbye that might have been a bitter pill to swallow. On the other hand, she thought Teal'c might have been better off without her around constantly reminding him of what he had lost.

He seemed happy for her but the thoughts prompted by his words moved Sam and her voice cracked as she replied. "So I can expect you guys to come and visit some time?" Tears pricked her eyes and at some point, one or two of them rolled down her cheek.

"Undomesticated equines could not keep me away," he responded humorously, invoking another, more distant, memory.

She chuckled in response, amused and slightly cheered, but still saddened by thoughts of loss, of missing the friends she held most dear. They hugged and Sam now wondered what Teal'c had been thinking while all this was going on. Was he heart sore? She knew she was, but his emotions must have been more difficult to take. The idea was even more thought provoking.

Teal'c kept his promise. Kind of. He went to Atlantis, although it was not to see her. Perhaps his visit served double duty but, ostensibly, the serene Jaffa was there to advise and coach the less than tolerant Satedan, Ronan Dex. Gee, she even had to break up a fight, she recollected ruefully. Talk about an irresistible force meeting an immovable object!

The notion made her smile. The two men were as tenacious as they come and she was not sure which one of them was the irresistible force and which the immovable object. As a scientist, however, she understood that in terms of physics, neither could exist in reality, let alone co-exist. It amused her to know that if such things did exist in a scientific sense, one would be converted into infinite inertia, the other into infinite energy. Effectively, both would become infinite mass, collapse under their own weight and become a singularity – in other words a black hole. Figuratively speaking, the analogy seemed appropriate to the two men.

So, anyway, Sam had to break up their fight. Neither of the two pig-headed men would give up. The Satedan was good but they both were. If she was a betting kind of person, her money would have been on Teal'c but, in all honesty, she was not certain who really might have won. As it was, Sam broke up the fight, calling it a draw, and some of her gambling colleagues ended up severely disappointed. She, however, was simply happy she could put a stop to it before one of the men was severely injured.

Jeez, men and their stubborn pride! Jack had taught her a lot about that over those many years they had served together. Jack and Teal'c. What a pair they were.

Whatever the true purpose of his visit had been, it was good to see Teal'c in Atlantis. They spent little time together, but the moments they got were precious.

In fact, now she came to consider it, they mainly talked about Jack. Teal'c was in her quarters sharing some private time in the short spare moments they got. Atlantis was like a goldfish bowl, no privacy unless you retreated to your personal space, not even then sometimes.

On entering, he cast his eyes carefully over her surroundings. The quarters were not too bad, quite plain and sparse though, although decorative in an Atlantean kind of way. Sam had added a few personal touches here and there, trying to make it homier - photographs, plants, the odd ornament, pictures on the wall, a throw on the bed. Everyone in Atlantis did the same thing, so each person's quarters were unique to them even though the rooms were virtually identical to start with. Sam was relatively happy with hers although she missed home, the familiar surroundings, space and privacy.

"Sit down?" she suggested and he smiled, but did not sit, instead walking around the room and scrutinizing the possessions she had chosen to surround her while away from home. Now, Sam wondered what had been going through his head back then. Was he somehow trying to avoid getting too close? Or perhaps the opposite. Perhaps he wished to familiarize himself with her surroundings so he felt closer in his heart. She would never know.

"It's so good to see you," she said, sitting on one of her few chairs and watching her friend. "I like it here but I've missed the SGC, all of you."

"Likewise, Colonel Carter." He did not turn to face her, but continued his examination of her quarters.

"How are things with you, Teal'c?" she asked as she noticed him pick up her photograph of Jack; one amongst the many photographs of family and friends. He seemed to study it carefully before returning it to its rightful place. Had he been contemplating their betrayal? Regretting their past?

"I am well," he said, abruptly moving to sit in the chair she had indicated. "O'Neill desired that I…" He paused as if trying to recall the words. "Send you his greetings."

Greetings? Sam chortled quietly. So like Jack. They might be married but this did not mean he would send words of love via an emissary, albeit that Teal'c was a close friend. He would speak those words only to her.

"How is he?" She realized then how much she longed to spend some quality time with her husband. She had thought it many times before, of course, but the presence of Teal'c seemed to make it more palpable. This assignment was hard on both of them, but they were military and accepted its necessity.

"He is well also," Teal'c replied. "I believe he misses you, although O'Neill would never admit to such a thing."

"No, he wouldn't. Not Jack's style." They exchanged faint grins, aware that her husband did not wear his heart on his sleeve in this way. Or rarely. Not in public, leastwise. What he told her in private was another matter entirely.

"What about Daniel?" she asked. "And the rest of the team? The SGC?"

"We continue as before. We endure without you."

Sam looked at him sharply and his eyes twinkled with merriment, so she chuckled at his tongue in check comment. "Darn. You mean the whole mountain hasn't tumbled down without me?" she asked with a wink, her tone self-mocking.

"Indeed." He smirked and her small chuckle became an outright laugh.

"You can't imagine how good it is to see you Teal'c. I've grown accustomed to this place, the people. I couldn't ask for better. They're a great bunch, but…" She shrugged, unable to find the right words to express her feelings. Teal'c, however, understood.

"But it is not Stargate Command. These people are not your old friends and colleagues. O'Neill, your husband, is absent."

She nodded agreement. "Right." Teal'c got it as Sam knew he would. He stared at her thoughtfully for a while before saying anything and when he spoke, his tenor was serious.

"This is an honorable command is it not? You serve your people well as they do you."

"I hope so."

"I say this because it is what I have heard."

Those words comforted Sam and she guessed this was her friend's intention. Teal'c always seemed to know what was going on. She sometimes lacked self-confidence in command, considering herself more of a scientist than commander. But on Atlantis, the science was Rodney's domain and she had to step back and be careful not to tread on his toes or bruise his ego. She was there to command, not dabble in science projects, and it sounded like the folks back home had more faith in that leadership than she.

"Good reports?" she asked, wishing to press a bit further.

"Excellent. And why should they not be?" He looked surprised that it might be otherwise. "I was more than content to follow your lead."

She grinned, rising and approaching him. Then she took his hand and bent down to kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks, Teal'c. That means a lot to me." Squeezing the hand, she added, "But I was lucky. I had you on my team."

He squeezed back and stared into her eyes for the longest moment, his penetrating gaze making her shiver with a thrill of excitement. She recalled the feeling well, as if for a moment she felt something more than she should. Now, she wondered if this was a ghost of an unremembered past - although she could not imagine how that might be possible - and considered how he might have felt. Did he get a frisson of excitement too? Did he wish he could take her in his arms and kiss her? Make love to her?

The thought made her contemplate what their sex lives might have been like during those years on the Odyssey. She could never ask Teal'c about it, of course, but she could not help but wonder. Sam imagined him to be a fulfilling lover and hoped she had been too. For sure, Jack never had any complaints. They had been pretty darned great at it most of the time even if she thought so herself.

It seemed a long time before Teal'c let go of her hand that day. Before doing so, he bowed his head in respect, lightly touching his forehead to her hand and then raising his eyes to meet hers again. "We worked well together, Colonel Carter," he said.

She sighed in a wistful manner, nodding agreement before sitting down again. "Those were the days," she responded and Teal'c merely smiled. "Jack leading the team. Boldly going and all that."

Teal'c's smile broadened into a grin and he laughed, understanding her reference to Star Trek. The medium of television and film on Earth was like nothing he had ever encountered in his long life as a Jaffa. He had watched much of it to while away his lonely hours spent on base. With his friends too, which was way less lonely and far more entertaining because of the shared experience.

His laughter warmed Sam's heart. The ability to laugh was something Teal'c seemed to acquire in those latter years. She enjoyed that vibrating deep bass tone. Jack jokingly likened it to a small earthquake and the analogy amused her.

"It seems many years since O'Neill was SG-1's team leader," Teal'c said. "Much has passed since then."

"Sure, and don't get me wrong, I loved working with you guys once he was gone, but I missed him going out there with us."

"I concur. O'Neill was a formidable leader and comrade in many respects. Flawed, but then we all are, are we not?"

She smiled, fully aware that Jack had his faults. "No one's perfect, that's for sure, but Jack was a hard act to follow."

"Indeed."

"Quirky sometimes. Bad tempered. Stubborn. But brilliant too. I was happy working with him. I often miss that even now."

"Happy?" One eyebrow crooked upward in query. "I know that this often was not the case, Colonel Carter. You could not…" He did not complete his sentence. Teal'c had always understood why O'Neill and Colonel Carter had sacrificed their feelings for their work. Above almost anyone, he knew about placing duty above desire, appreciated what it took to serve a higher cause. Nevertheless, he also recognized there were many occasions on which both of his friends had been very unhappy because of this sacrifice.

"We couldn't be together?" she queried and he nodded, saying nothing. "Sometimes I regretted that. Sometimes it made me very unhappy. Sometimes I thought nothing would ever happen between us. I gave up. But it was worth it. Worth all that waiting."

"It pleases me to know he makes you happy," he said. "He does make you happy, does he not?"

"Oh god, yes!" Sam's broad grin emphasized her confirmation. "We're apart far too much but that's the way it has to be. For now anyway. The time will come when we aren't." She paused for a while, capturing her visitor's eyes. "Do you think I make him happy too, Teal'c?" she asked, his judgment meaning much to her.

"You doubt it?" He seemed a little perturbed by what he obviously perceived as misgiving.

"No. Yes. Sometimes." She sighed, shrugging helplessly, uncertain if she could explain her thoughts. "Don't we all doubt our ability sometimes? We haven't really been married for all that long, have we? I've got no experience as a wife. Have no idea how to be a good one. Then he was in DC and I was in Colorado, and now I'm here. Career and work first. Same old, same old. We haven't had much time for a marriage so far. Haven't had much practice at it. I would hate to think he might regret what's come from all that waiting."

Sam noticed Teal'c's unease seem to deepen; something almost imperceptible in his manner. If she had not known him so well, she might have missed it.

"Should we be speaking of this?" he asked and Sam guessed he felt uncomfortable that she should probe about a man who was a friend to them both. Teal'c was a good friend, had been there for her often, but it was not like they had serious heart to hearts all the time. Looking back after the revelation about their relationship, she realized there also might have been other reasons for his disquiet.

"Why not, Teal'c?" she pressed. "You are my friend, aren't you? I can ask the opinion of a friend?"

"O'Neill is also my friend and we rarely speak of such things."

Instead of facing her head on, Teal'c's eyes wandered the room, but Sam stubbornly persisted with pushing him. Now, she understood his agitation much better than she had then, regretting her decision to insist on talking to him about Jack. It must have hurt him to discuss her relationship with another man. But she had not known then what she knew now. If she had, many things might have been very different.

"I understand, but you can still be friends with us both and offer your opinion," she replied. "I ask you because I know you see things other people don't. You observe. You're the best in the business, and I trust you to be honest with me."

He paused thoughtfully before responding, meeting her probing eyes at last. His demeanor was composed and probably hid much.

"Very well," he said, "if you genuinely wish for my observations. I believe he was not happy for the longest time. Not when he was helpless to act on his feelings. Helplessness of any kind does not sit well with O'Neill and his feelings for you ran deep I think. Now…?" He seemed to contemplate again for a while before continuing. "Even deeper. Much happier. So, yes, I believe you make him happy, notwithstanding your separation… and your lack of practice as a wife." Teal'c's tone was slightly mocking as he spoke those latter few words and he threw Sam a small smirk before becoming somber once more. "He might miss you but he would wait a long time for you to return home to him. He has proved his steadfastness, has he not? "

She grinned. "Don't get me wrong, Teal'c, I don't doubt him. Sometimes I just have qualms about doing right by him. So, I'm glad that's how you see it."

"You believe you are incapable of giving him what he needs? I am confident of your abilities, Colonel Carter, but my thoughts on the subject mean nothing."

"Oh, but they do, Teal'c. They mean a lot to me."

Given Teal'c's unique but then unknown perspective, in retrospect his comments meant even more. Contemplating this now, Sam smiled to herself. She obviously had made Teal'c happy during their time together too and the thought pleased her immensely.

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As Sam ruminated on the past, so did Teal'c. His thoughts had little to do with Atlantis, however. He firmly fixed them on their lives together on the Odyssey. Right now, he was wishing she remembered. It might comfort her to know how happy they had been - considering everything. Considering she had had to endure the sorrowful loss of her husband for all those years. Considering Teal'c knew he did not hold first place in her heart. Considering they were not free, that they were stuck in unending time with no apparent means of escape.

He could not begin to describe the pleasure it gave him to wake up by her side. Often, he would lie there simply watching her sleep; the slow rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, the peaceful expression on her face. Such small moments would bring him great joy. A kind of joy he had never experienced before.

Teal'c had truly loved his wife, Drey'auc, but his relationship with Samantha was very different. A relationship bred in freedom with the luxury of time - ironic given the circumstances. Certainly, he and Drey'auc had been happy enough for the most part, but the lifestyle of Apophis' Jaffa did not make contentment easy.

They were slaves, Goa'uld playthings subject to the whim of their god. Jaffa lived in constant fear of that whim. At any moment, Apophis could separate them from their loved ones, even order their deaths. They were constantly aware of it and careful of acting in a manner that pleased their master and did not bring doom upon them.

It was no way to live and it was dangerous even to discuss such fearful and treacherous thoughts. There were spies everywhere, fellow Jaffa who might betray you for the slightest transgression in order to gain favor with their god.

Also, Teal'c spent much of his life away from home in service to Apophis, fighting his battles. He had little time to spare for his wife or son. Little time to live the lives they might have wished to. Yes, they had been content enough in the circumstances, but only as content as Apophis allowed them to be.

With Samantha, however, there were no such constraints. No constant fear hanging over the relationship and an abundance of time to spend in each other's company.

So, he watched the rise and fall of her breath, her peacefully sleeping countenance, and took pleasure in these simple things. It would have been impossible for him to be this content in his past life. He regretted this but made the most of what he had now found. A new discovery, a new life.

Then, the first thing he saw as she woke was her welcoming morning smile. A smile that made him feel truly at home for the first time in many years. A smile that never aged even as they did. A smile that warmed him and made his heart stutter.

"Morning, Teal'c," she said, kissing him lightly and embracing him. Laying her head on his chest and rubbing it gently with her lips. Looking up into his eyes and smoothing her hand over his cheek. Seemingly content to lie in each other's arms, for hours should they so desire, which sometimes they did.

The same each morning for many, many years. It just never got old, as O'Neill might have said.

Apart from being stranded in space and time, which Teal'c had mixed feelings about in the circumstances, O'Neill was the one factor in their lives that might have spoiled their contentment.

Teal'c was acutely aware of Samantha's heartache. It was constantly present even though he tried to make her as happy as he possibly could. He was second best, her companion only because her husband was absent, in a relationship born from their empty aloneness. This troubled him frequently. This and his guilt at the betrayal of a friend he loved and respected dearly.

His heart would ache as she smoothed the bow over her cello, wielding it in harmoniously magnificent but mournful song. Melodies that spoke what she did not. Melodies that exposed the naked, raw pain in her heart. She played for O'Neill, not for him, this he knew.

And he listened. Surreptitiously, perhaps, but listened nonetheless, and was moved. Moved to depths of feeling he previously had never plundered, feeling tears prick in his eyes where they previously had never dared to tread. It made him love her even more, even though she mourned for O'Neill, even though he knew she would never love him like she did her husband. Not like Teal'c loved her. Never.

Samantha sometimes knew he listened. Occasionally she invited him to watch her play openly and he sat and stared as his love made music for another man. A tear might sometimes roll down her cheek as she played and he would rise and move toward her, squeeze her shoulder in comfort. Then she would look up at him and smile and his heartache would be worth that small moment. He would pay almost any price for that smile.

Once she completed her lament, she would take him by the hand and lead him back to their quarters, making love to him without either of them uttering a solitary word. They would join together as harmoniously as her melodies, losing their mutual sorrow in bittersweet ecstasy.

Teal'c did not believe she ever understood the depth of his feelings for her. They spoke words of love, and both of them meant it, but he never thought she felt his love like he did. He loved her like she loved O'Neill. Deeply abiding, soul clenching love. Always and forever. She did not understand it because he did not convey those depths to her and never could.

Most of the time, the love she offered him was enough. Yes, he often yearned for more but knew he would never get it, even after many years had passed. So he contented himself with what he got. He became happy by making her as happy as he was able. He lived for each moment they had together, for each moment he could watch her, hold her and care for her. He loved her with as little restraint as possible, with his heart and soul.

And he contemplated his good fortune. Good fortune born from their misfortune, true, but Teal'c considered himself blessed. Despite everything, he was a lucky man. He lived with what he got because it was something astonishing and singular and worth many moments of doubt and pain. He endured.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Cassie's grief for Jack's loss was painfully obvious, engraved into her face.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund

Chapter length: 3,413 words

Author's notes: Thanks to ImmerRDA, who points out the errors of my writing ways in the nicest possible way. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

**Enduring Time Chapter 16**

_Previously:_

Teal'c did not believe she ever understood the depth of his feelings for her. They spoke words of love, and both of them meant it, but he never thought she felt his love like he did. He loved her like she loved O'Neill. Deeply abiding, soul clenching love. Always and forever. She did not understand it because he did not convey those depths to her and never could.

Most of the time, the love she offered him was enough. Yes, he often yearned for more but knew he would never get it, even after many years had passed. So he contented himself with what he got. He became happy by making her as happy as he was able. He lived for each moment they had together, for each moment he could watch her, hold her and care for her. He loved her with as little restraint as possible, with his heart and soul.

And he contemplated his good fortune. Good fortune born from their misfortune, true, but Teal'c considered himself blessed. Despite everything, he was a lucky man. He lived with what he got because it was something astonishing and singular and worth many moments of doubt and pain. He endured.

_The story continues:_

Brilliant but fleeting, something glinted on the lake and the reflection briefly dazzled her. Sam squinted, covering her eyes with her hands. It vanished quickly, but the abrupt flash of radiance provoked a different kind of memory from her more recent past. It had been mere months ago. She had buried Jack ninety three days earlier and had counted, and keenly felt, every minute he had been gone. Then Cassie came home.

As her adopted daughter beamed into the back yard of her cabin in Minnesota, Sam threw up her hands to ward off the bright glare. When she removed this shield from her eyes, Cassandra Fraiser was there, hair flowing in the breeze. Swiftly, they walked toward each other, the older woman smiling delightedly.

"Welcome home," she said, holding her arms open and Cassie willingly threw herself into them. They hugged, tightening each other's grip in a greeting reserved for family and close friends.

"It's good to be home. It's been a long time." She lifted her head to meet Sam's eyes. "I'm so sorry," she said, her voice husky with pain.

Cassie's grief for Jack's loss was painfully obvious, engraved into her face. She was middle aged now, her long hair highlighted with hints of grey and her eyes etched with slender, although barely noticeable, lines. She did not look her age and probably could have passed for ten years younger.

Cassie was the nearest thing to a daughter Jack and Sam ever had. While alive Janet Fraiser was the young girl's mother because she adopted her as her own. Janet loved Cassie very much and the feeling was mutual. The other members of SG-1, however, also took her into their hearts, like older sisters and brothers or aunts and uncles.

Sam spent more time with Cassie than she did with her blood relatives, a situation resulting from long estrangement, physical distance and her preoccupation with work. Cassie always felt closest to Jack and Sam, in part because of their mutual history when she first came to Earth, but also this was simply the way the relationship developed. When Janet died, that bond grew ever stronger, particularly after the pair became a couple. They became Cassie's surrogate parents and happily played that role in her life.

When not away at college, she lived in Sam's house and moved in with both Jack and Sam on the same basis once they were married. Until she left home for good, that was, and became independent. Still, the three always remained close and saw each other frequently.

Following in her mother's footsteps, Cassie became a doctor, joining the Air Force in much the same way too. Her brilliance and hard work earned her a post at the SGC, where she diligently studied both alien and human physiology and medicine like Janet had done before her.

She was thrilled when assigned to a new Human/Asgard hybrid exploration ship, 'The O'Neill'. Cassie headed the science team and was one of the medical officers on the long haul expedition. Its builders based the ship on the now better understood Asgard technology inherited by Earth and it was capable of traveling much greater distances faster than any of its predecessors.

The O'Neill's mission was to explore unchartered and previously unreachable galaxies, where no Stargate system existed. These galaxies existed in unimaginable numbers, untouched by the Goa'uld or most other alien races with which humanity was familiar. An exciting prospect for anyone assigned to the ship, and for those who remained behind on Earth waiting eagerly to learn more.

The Oversight Committee chose to start with one such galaxy and sent 'The O'Neill' on her way - a long voyage there, and exploration and return, despite the ship's advanced capabilities. The ship had returned only a few days before. His surrogate daughter had learned of Jack's demise just a short time before that, while his namesake was approaching Earth.

Cassie was as heartbroken as Sam had expected. The reality of Jack's loss was probably beginning to dawn on her, she thought. Sam knew loss could take a while to sink in and his death must have come as a shock to her, as it had to them all.

Pulling back, she grasped Cassie's face in her hands affectionately and they exchanged a mutual look of deep and enduring pain. "I know you're sorry, sweetie."

"I should have been here."

Sam felt for Cassie's heartache, understanding her frustration and regret at having missed Jack's funeral and not being there to say her goodbyes or grieve with the rest of them.

"How could you be, honey?" she responded sympathetically. "You couldn't know. You shouldn't regret it, Cassie. Jack wouldn't want you to and neither do I. Life's too short."

"I would have made it back somehow if I had known."

Sam knew this would have been impossible. There was no other way of returning to Earth except on board 'The O'Neill'. What an irony that, when he died, Cassie should be serving on the ship they had named after Jack. Sam thought something about that would have appealed to her husband's often perverse sense of humor.

She sighed softly and kissed Cassie's forehead. "I'm so sorry," she said with feeling. Pulling away from the embrace, Sam took the younger woman's hand. "Let's go into the cabin and talk, okay?"

Cassie nodded and they walked silently to the door and entered. "God, Sam, you must really miss him," she said, sitting on the couch where Sam joined her.

"Yes," she agreed in a wistful tone.

"I'm going to miss him too," Cassie replied with a small catch in her throat.

"I know, honey." She squeezed Cassie's hand, stifling a sob because she knew if she started, it would probably set Cassie off too. Sam realized this would likely happen at some point during her stay but she wanted delay it if possible. "Drink? Coffee?" she asked in a bright tone, the hostess mode helping her rein in her emotions.

Cassie shook her head. "No thanks. Later."

"I'll just get myself a coke," Sam said, seeking the distraction of doing something.

It was great to see Cassie and, after Jack's death, Sam had been looking forward to her coming home so they could grieve together. Lately, however, she had been starting to gain a modicum of self-control over her reactions to bereavement and she feared losing it again. Illogical, she knew. It seemed highly unlikely she would suddenly stop the see-saw up and down of emotions so quickly, if ever, and Cassie was one of the best possible people to share these with. But logic did not really enter the equation.

Sam so did not enjoy being the walking wreck of an old woman she had become since her husband had gone. Jack would get it because he had been a train wreck after Charlie. Nevertheless, he would whup her ass and tell her life was for living.

She had internal disagreements with Jack about the subject, pleading with him to give her a break. It had only been three months since he died. Too soon. She needed more time - months, possibly years. Years she probably did not have left to her. She would grieve for him always.

He would retort with quips and self-deprecation in his usual way, telling her she must surely have had enough of him already, that there were better ways to be living her life than in mourning for him. Life is too short, yadda, yadda, yadda. Jack was even worse than usual when it was her subconscious anger with him talking to her.

For Cassie, the loss was newer, rawer. For her, Jack's death was like yesterday because her knowledge of it was so recent. She was in the first stages of mourning and Sam knew she could easily slide right back there along with her. That time would probably come during this visit but Sam no longer relished the prospect.

"Sugar free?" Cassie asked, as if she did not already know this was Sam's preference.

"Of course."

"I'll get it!" the younger woman volunteered quickly.

Sam looked tired, Cassie thought. Although she did not appear to be as old as her age, she was an old woman, there was no escaping that. Sure, she was healthy, thank goodness, and quite fit. However, Cassie could see Jack's loss had taken its toll. She did not want Sam running around after her as it was surely her that should do the running.

Having changed her mind about having a drink, she quickly returned with two cokes, handing one to Sam. Cassie did not, however, return to her seat next to Sam. Instead, she sipped the coke from the can while perusing the walls and shelves, seeking those mementoes that reminded her of Jack the most.

"Where's your wedding photo?" she asked abruptly, quickly missing the photograph and frame that Sam had given pride of place to for so many years.

"I gave it to Teal'c."

Cassie turned and faced her, eyes widened in disbelief. "You gave it away? You loved that."

"I wanted to give him something special," Sam explained.

"Sam…!" Cassie exclaimed, scrubbing her hand through her hair in a frustrated, defiant manner. Sam had seen the gesture many times. It meant she was annoyed but Sam was not sure why she should be.

"It was important," she retorted emphatically. "As he is important."

"Teal'c?"

Sam smiled wistfully, nodding. "Of course, Teal'c. He's a great friend, Cassie, always. It was good to have him here after Jack died. He was a huge comfort."

"Given anything else away?" Cassie asked in with a touch of acidity in her tone.

Taken aback by her manner, Sam's eyes narrowed and she shook her head, her responding attitude prickly and defensive. "I can give my friends whatever I like can't I? What's gotten into you?"

Cassie looked anguished. "I didn't mean… I just don't want you to regret anything you've done when you've been vulnerable."

Now Sam got it and she smiled. "Oh, Cassie… sweetheart…" She tailed off, suddenly struck by the peculiarity of calling this middle aged woman sweetheart, like she might have when Cassie was a child. Do mothers always do that, she wondered? Her own mom had not lived long enough for her to know. Probably they did. To parents, children are always children no matter how old they get, she supposed. Then another notion about the photograph and frame occurred to her. "You aren't upset with me, are you? You didn't want it…?"

"No! I'm just worried you'll regret it is all. I know it was special."

"But so is Teal'c."

"And so was Jack," she responded in a high pitched whine.

"Ah! I see…" she said eyeing the younger woman with comprehension. It was Cassie's grief doing the talking. She moved to get up and Cassie reacted instantly.

"Don't you dare get up and come give me a hug. I might cry if you do that."

An amused smile appeared on Sam's face at her reaction, but she promptly settled back onto the couch.

"Cassie, honey, it's okay to cry about Jack. He's gone. I understand that you resent me giving the photo to Teal'c. I guess that frame meant something to you too. It's always been with me. I'm sorry if giving it to Teal'c has upset you. I didn't think…"

"It's okay. I'm the one who should be sorry. I guess I overreacted." She moved toward Sam and bent to kiss her head, squeezing her shoulder gently. "I remember that frame from when I was a kid. The old photo of SG-1 inside. I used to love that. Jack gave me a copy of that photo, remember?"

Sam nodded and pressed her hand over Cassie's in a gesture of support and comfort. "I remember. But I'd forgotten. Senior moments, you know," she said with tongue firmly in cheek. Cassie tittered and stepped back, about to return to her inspection of the room.

"I also gave Teal'c Jack's fishing gear," Sam informed her before she turned back to her preoccupation.

Cassie's eyebrows shot up. "Teal'c? He hated fishing. Jack always used to pretend he loved it but we all knew it wasn't true."

"He's going to learn how to fish in memory of Jack."

Cassie nodded thoughtfully and smiled in a wistful way. "That's kinda nice, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. He says he has a lake near his place. He thinks it's fitting."

"It is," Cassie agreed with a grin.

"I'd like you to have something too. Something of Jack's. If you want it, that is. You can choose."

"Yeah, that would be good. I'll think about it."

Sam nodded agreement and Cassie seemed satisfied. The younger woman then turned back to her previous scrutiny, running her fingers over various objects that adorned the walls and shelves in a self-absorbed manner.

Remaining quiet, Sam let her get on with it, merely watching. If this was something Cassie needed to do, that was fine by her. She was curious about the memories each item might be stirring but did not pry. If Cassie wanted to talk about it, she would.

"Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly and Sam heard the small catch in her throat. She craned her neck to determine what Cassie had seen and realized it was Jack's chess set. They had all played each other quite often once upon a time.

Jack had used the same chess set for years and the board was worn with age now. Daniel bought him a new set as a Christmas present many moons ago, Sam recalled. It was one of those ornately carved sets with an attractive inlaid wooden board. Jack had never taken to it. He preferred the simplicity of his plain old set, the feel of the smooth pieces in his hand.

Sam sincerely hoped Cassie did not ask her for the chess set as her memento of Jack because she did not believe she could part with it. There were limits to what she felt able to give away, and this was one of them. Jack had used the set often and rolled each piece in his hand repeatedly, using them as props in his idiosyncratic fidgeting.

Ironically, that restlessness was a trait which could be both exasperating and reassuring, often simultaneously. How the heck did he do that, she wondered? No matter - it was simply one of the mysteries of his innate charm. Sam smiled inwardly at the thought.

Cassie opened the box and pulled out a chess piece, turning the black knight over in her hand. She sobbed and her eyes brimming with tears for the first time since she had arrived.

"Horses. Jack always called them horses," she said and Sam's heart flipped at the memories those words provoked.

Their regular Saturday chess matches; Cassie turning a knight round and round in mid-air with the power of her mind; her close brush with death; and the dreaded Nirrti. The short conversation she'd had with Cassie about Jack in the isolation room came starkly to mind.

Cassie mentioned Jack's penchant for calling the knights horses, observing he always pretended he was not as smart as he really was. She was sixteen years old, bright and sharp as a tack - way more perceptive than most young teens were ever likely to be and possibly more so than any of Jack's closest friends.

Sam recalled the heart rending fear that Cassie might die during those terrible days. It was not the first time she caused them heartache, or the last, but it was one of the worst. Janet did her best to play the calm doctor, but this was her daughter and she was distraught with worry. Jack maintained his cool soldierly countenance as well as he could. It mostly worked, but Sam could see the dread in his eyes – the dread that Cassie, a young girl he had let into his heart and grew to love so much, might be lost to them.

Sometimes she wondered what would have happened to Jack if death had taken Cassie from them then. Could he have borne another death of a youngster he loved? His ability to bounce back from the horrors he encountered seemed endless, but what would it have taken to break him? The notion was too awful to contemplate.

Suddenly, Cassie smiled. "Horses," she said with a chuckle. "Sooo Jack. You had to love that kind of stuff about him."

"Yeahsureyabetchya," Sam replied, a well worn O'Neill expression, and the two women laughed. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine. But what about you, Sam?"

Cassie replaced the chess piece in its box, approached the couch and sat down, placing her coke on the table and putting an arm around her surrogate mother's shoulders.

Then Sam's shoulders shook and she sobbed softly. Overcome with her own wrought emotions, Cassie joined in. It had started already and Sam was cross with herself but there was no stopping it. Grief was inevitable but she disliked feeling like that feeble old woman again.

They hugged sorrowfully for a while with tears streaming down their cheeks, but then Cassie pulled herself together enough to speak. "That was a lie. I won't be fine," she admitted, hearing a faint snort from Sam. "Why does everyone you love have to die?" she asked, bursting into tears again.

It was a poignant question. Poor Cassie had already suffered so much loss in her life and now the man she had considered a second father figure was gone too. It broke Sam's heart to contemplate how Cassie must feel - her real parents and everyone else she ever knew, Janet, George Hammond and now Jack. Too many memories of death and heartache.

"I don't know, sweetheart," she replied, sniffling and reaching for the tissues she always kept close-by these days. It was probably pathetic but she had a box in every room. She must be keeping the Kleenex Company afloat. Should have bought shares, she thought wryly.

Frankly, Sam did not know what to say. Platitudes were way too easy. She fought to control her emotions, to be the strong one while Cassie went through this agony.

"I don't know how to deal with it, Sam," Cassie sobbed. "I loved Jack so much. H-he was like a father to me." At a loss for words, Sam simply held onto her tightly, smoothing her back. "I should be the one comforting you!" Cassie cried plaintively.

"W-we're both heartbroken, Cassie. We need each other," Sam managed to stammer through the tears.

"One-one day, you'll be gone too. You, Daniel, everyone. What am I going to do then?" Her tone was wretched, filled with grief. Sam pulled her head back, searching Cassie's face and caressing her dampened cheeks.

"I wish I had an answer, Cassie, but I'm planning on being around for a long time yet." She smiled and Cassie tried to smile back but the heartache was too overwhelming.

"I thought he would live forever. I never thought… oh crap!" Her tears started up again.

"I never wanted to contemplate it either."

"How do you bear it?"

"I don't."

"Oh!" Cassie sobbed, sniffing.

"One day at a time, Cassie. Most of the time, I feel like I'm going one step forward and two steps back. But one day at a time is the best any of us can do."

Cassie sniffled again. "I guess I know how that feels, what with… well, my parents and mom and all."

"You never forget, do you? You never stop hurting somewhere deep down. But it does get better, you know that. That's what I cling to. It's so hard without him. At first, I missed him every single moment of every single day, now it's only almost every moment." She shot Cassie a sardonic smile. "I don't know how I'm going to get through it, but I will. You will too. I'm so happy you're home. It helps a lot to share this with you."

Cassie said nothing, simply holding Sam and stroking her back comfortingly. She figured if she felt like crap, Sam must be feeling a minimum of double or treble times crappier. It consoled her to know she could be there for her "mom", supporting her through the grief, and that this would be reciprocated. Yes, Jack was gone and she would miss him horribly, but it was good to be home.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Enduring Time

Category: Angst, romance, friendship, drama

Content Level: Age 13+

Content Warnings: Major character death, mild language, sexual situations

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Daniel/Vala

Season: Future

Spoilers: Up to and including "Unending"

Summary: Cassie says her goodbyes to Jack. "Damn it, I never got to say goodbye. But then neither did Sam really. It was so unexpected. Jeez, typical Jack O'Neill. Always full of surprises."

Author's notes:

1. This chapter is dedicated to my mother, who sadly passed away earlier this year. Given that, in many respects this fiction is very personal to me containing as it does Jack's death and people's reactions to it. Working through the sorrow and loss for Sam and other characters, has helped me work through my own. It's strange how it has turned out that way, but also very appropriate on so many levels. Mum, you are in a better place. I'll love you always.

2. ImmerRDA did yet another terrific job of beta reading this chapter. Her comments were very helpful as always. I'd particularly like to thank her for her observations about Jack's resting place - the addition of an American flag, as is traditional for US veterans, and especially for helping with the wording on the headstone. As Daniel Jackson was Sam's helpmate in this respect, Barbara was mine! *g*

3. This moves me to dedicate the chapter to all US and UK veterans as well, both living and dead. I don't always agree with the reasons for war, but I respect those who fight it on our behalf. "Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die"*. You fight so we can be free because we cannot or do not. You die so we can live.

*"_Charge of the Light Brigade_" Alfred Lord Tennyson

_Previously:_

"One-one day, you'll be gone too. You, Daniel, everyone. What am I going to do then?" Her tone was wretched, filled with grief. Sam pulled her head back, searching Cassie's face and caressing her dampened cheeks.

"I wish I had an answer, Cassie, but I'm planning on being around for a long time yet." She smiled and Cassie tried to smile back but the heartache was too overwhelming.

"I thought he would live forever. I never thought… oh crap!" Her tears started up again.

"I never wanted to contemplate it either."

"How do you bear it?"

"I don't."

"Oh!" Cassie sobbed, sniffing.

"One day at a time, Cassie. Most of the time, I feel like I'm going one step forward and two steps back. But one day at a time is the best any of us can do."

Cassie sniffled again. "I guess I know how that feels, what with… well, my parents and mom and all."

"You never forget, do you? You never stop hurting somewhere deep down. But it does get better, you know that. That's what I cling to. It's so hard without him. At first, I missed him every single moment of every single day, now it's only almost every moment." She shot Cassie a sardonic smile. "I don't know how I'm going to get through it, but I will. You will too. I'm so happy you're home. It helps a lot to share this with you."

Cassie said nothing, simply holding Sam and stroking her back comfortingly. She figured if she felt like crap, Sam must be feeling a minimum of double or treble times crappier. It consoled her to know she could be there for her "mom", supporting her through the grief, and that this would be reciprocated. Yes, Jack was gone and she would miss him horribly, but it was good to be home.

_The story continues: _

Still silence greeted them on arrival and they were surprised there were not more visitors. The site's managers maintained it well, trimming its grass neatly. Large trees bordered the area and with patches of vibrantly colored blossoming flowers, transformed the site into a haven that was pleasing to the eye. It was quite a nice place for a cemetery, and not a bad location for Jack to spend the rest of his days.

The aroma of new mown grass assailed Sam's nostrils, a pleasant smell and one of her personal favorites. White puffy clouds hid the spring day's sun and there was a faint chill in the air. Sam was dressed appropriately, a large overcoat keeping in the warmth. She felt the cold keenly at her age and regretted that. She would love to be unencumbered like Cassie, who wore a light jacket over her black trouser suit and emerald green blouse. Sam had to dress sensibly for such a day no matter how much it irked her.

She so hated growing old, but who didn't? The resulting frailties and aches and pains were an irritation. Sam, however, was relatively fit and strong for her age, which counted for something. Still, these days she did not take any unnecessary risks with her health.

The two women were somberly silent as Sam led Cassie through the cemetery to Jack's resting place. Although his body lay in a grave, he still lived large as life in both of their minds. The previous couple of days had been hard on them as they had reminisced, cried, laughed and hugged, then reminisced some more. There was good and bad in that, both in the mutual solace and the memories.

Sam quickly overcame her reticence about losing self-control again, taking each hour as it came. It truly was good to share with Cassie and she knew her friend felt likewise. The younger woman needed the reciprocal comfort too.

They had probably both laughed and cried themselves out, although Sam had thought that many times and now knew it did not seem possible to cry yourself out. Anyway, it used up a lot of energy and Sam was tired, but it was worth it. She did not even feel much like that feeble old woman anymore because the two women were like a couple of giggling teens some of the time, just as they often had been when together in the past.

They reached his grave, both holding flowers to honor Jack's memory. This was their personal equivalent to a memorial service, especially for Cassie's benefit because she had missed the real deal.

As they stood at the edge of his resting place, the younger woman's eyes wandered over the site, her first viewing. A small American flag bore testament to his status as a US veteran, as was traditional. That alone came close to moving her to tears and then, summoning up her courage, she read the headstone, which said:

_"General Jack O'Neill, USAF_

_Duty, Honor, Devotion Above All_

_Beloved Husband of Samantha_

_Cherished Father of Charlie and Cassandra"_

The granite did not provide a date of death but simply read:

_"Born 20 October 1952. Always living in our hearts."_

Moved, Cassie gasped at the words, clutching her bouquet in one hand and blindly groping for Sam's hand with the other. She squeezed it hard and Sam flinched but remained silent.

"Oh, Sam, that's lovely. Cherished father of Charlie and Cassandra. I'm so honored!" She turned toward Sam and smiled, although her eyes brimmed with tears.

"Not too much?" Sam asked curiously. She had agonized long and hard over the wording, consulting Daniel many times before making a decision.

"No way! It fits."

"I was worried you wouldn't be pleased with the father thing, but I couldn't ask. I asked Daniel and he thought you'd like it."

"Why did that worry you?"

"I would never wish to insult the memory of your real father, Cassie, although I know you loved Jack like he was your dad. I wanted your name on the headstone and it seemed the right thing to do. I really hoped you'd like it."

"Well you were right. I do. He was the closest thing I ever had to a father on this planet. To be right there alongside his real son…" She sniffed emotionally. "I really feel honored, Sam. I hope Jack would have approved."

"It made him so happy that you thought of him like a father. He loved you dearly. I think he would have liked it."

Cassie smiled an acknowledgement and let go of Sam's hand. "I need to talk to him," she said, kneeling in front of the grave.

She wanted to say goodbye. This was why they had come. Sam had visited a few times over the past few months although, strictly speaking, she did not need to be there to talk to her husband. She did that almost anywhere. Nevertheless, she would go and tell him her woes, confide in him as she had for years. She just wished he could reciprocate, but that would never happen again, even if sometimes she almost seemed to feel his presence.

She knew this was her imagination. Sam wasn't about to pay a visit to a medium and try to contact the dead or anything like that. Sure, she had encountered some strange things in the past but both her scientific background and her experience told her he was not truly there. No ascension, no miraculous sarcophagus, no Nox. Jack really was gone. Nevertheless, sometimes she felt like he was there. Probably always would and she saw no harm in that, in fact she liked the feeling.

"Do you want some private time?" Sam asked, knowing she had needed that short time alone with Jack after his funeral, and still required it every now and then.

Cassie shook her head, laying the flowers on his grave. "There's nothing I want to say to Jack that I can't say with you standing right there." She turned and smiled faintly at Sam, who moved closer and stood right behind Cassie, pleased that she would hear what the woman had to say.

"Hey, Uncle Jack! Did you hear that Jack?" Cassie said with a small chuckle, turning back toward his headstone. "Bet you're poking your tongue out at me right now because I said that. It's been a while but it always got you when I called you that. I guess I did it on purpose. Truth be told, you were always more like a father to me than an uncle, even a favorite uncle. Daniel and Teal'c were the uncles, even George Hammond. You were dad. I think you might have blown a gasket if I called you dad, but you would have secretly been pleased. Just as you were always secretly pleased when I referred to you as Uncle Jack." Her smile broadened at the thought and she laughed to herself, or more correctly at herself.

"Here I go, rambling again. I'm a middle aged woman now but you always knew how to make me feel young." She sighed. "What the hell got into you up and dying while I wasn't around, huh? How could you do that? Couldn't you have waited? You didn't have to wait long, but you never had any patience, did you, Jack? Not about some things, anyway. I guess you didn't want to lose your place in the queue. Damn it, I never got to say goodbye. But then neither did Sam really. It was so unexpected. Jeez, typical Jack O'Neill. Always full of surprises."

Sam heard Cassie snuffle, and was quite emotional herself, so she carefully kneeled down next to her, wrapping an arm around the woman. Cassie turned her head to look at her and a tear formed in her eye, dropping onto her cheek.

"Christ, Jack, can't I even hold myself together long enough to talk to you?" she said in a vehement tone, berating herself. Reaching for a tissue from her pocket, she dabbed her eyes, blew her nose and took a deep breath before facing the grave again and continuing.

"I just got back with 'The O'Neill' a few days ago. It's a great ship. You should be proud to have her named after you. It was quite some voyage. Exciting stuff. So many new places and things… I can't say too much about the trip, not even to you. Dead men don't have security clearance do they, Jack?" Cassie snorted at the humor knowing Jack would probably have appreciated the joke. "You and Sam would have loved it out there, I'm sure. The first humans to venture that far. But I guess you two had your share of firsts, right?"

She turned her head back to Sam and smiled. The older woman reciprocated and Cassie shifted so she could place an arm around her too. The two women huddled together in mutual support.

"Damn it, Jack, why did you have to go? I am so gonna miss you. You broke Sam's heart, and mine." Sam squeezed her gently at those words thinking she would start with the crying again very shortly if she let herself. "I know you didn't mean to, you never would have done it on purpose, you loved us both and don't think we don't know it. But what are we supposed to do without you around, huh? Did you ever think of that? I'm so gonna miss you.

"Don't tell me all that crap about having my own life to lead because I know it, okay?" she added argumentatively as if he was there. "I'm leading it. Actually, I've gotta tell you Jack because you'll be so thrilled," she said excitedly. "I met someone on 'The O'Neill'. A special someone. You always said I would one day, but I never seemed to have the time to get involved. Strictly no commitment, that was me.

"I guess I always shied away from it. Not consciously, but-but…" She took a long, deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check so she could get through her soliloquy. "I lost so many people I loved and it broke my heart. It's kind of off-putting, you know? I never really thought about it before, probably wanted to avoid that too, but I figure it was one reason I never settled down with anyone. I built-up too many darned defenses, too many brick walls."

Sam sniffled, moved by Cassie's sorrowful words. She thought Jack would have understood that reluctance, given what happened with Charlie. His son's death had changed him both for the better and the worst, or so it seemed to her. She had not known him before but it was an impression she got from various things he had told her over the years. One impression amongst many she had gleaned from tidbits revealed here and there.

When you fall, you fall, Sam thought, and often against your better judgment or no matter how much you struggle not to. Jack had not sought either love or commitment after Charlie or Sara, but he had got it nonetheless with both her, his team mates and Cassie. Many things had wrought changes on him, not just Charlie's death and the consequent destruction of his marriage.

They didn't have children after they married, though, did they? Jack loved them, was great with them, but they remained childless. Sam knew there were more reasons for that than her career or age. Jack never truly trusted himself after Charlie, neither his heart nor his ability.

He never stopped blaming himself and he could not leave himself exposed to that kind of heartbreak again. Bad enough to fear for and lose his colleagues and friends; bad enough to agonize over Cassie and his adopted family; but his own flesh and blood, that was something quite different. Although he did not voice this to Sam, or not in so many words, she knew.

Realizing that Cassie had stopped talking, Sam glanced at her. She was looking at her with sympathy. It was only then that Sam became conscious of the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Leaning toward her, Cassie kissed a cheek, giving her a gentle squeeze. "Penny for them?" she asked.

"Just thinking about you, what held you back from love, and Jack, all his heartache. He'd have understood why you held back."

"You think? He nagged me for years. Said he wanted me to settle down and be happy."

Sam pondered that for a short while, sniffling again before she spoke. "Yeah, I guess he wanted to see you settled with a family. He'd have made a wonderful grandfather don't you think?"

Cassie came close to breaking down herself when Sam said this, but instead she nodded and gave Sam a tissue. "I wish I could have given him that," she said mournfully.

"Don't regret, Cassie," Sam replied, wishing she had never spoken. The last thing she wanted to do was give Cassie something else to grieve about. "You know Jack. He would have hated that more than anything. Dwelling was something he tried to avoid."

Cassie grinned. "Life's too short, huh?"

"Right," Sam said returning the smile and perking up a bit. "Sorry I interrupted. You want to tell him about James."

Cassie tilted her head, studying Sam for a while and seemingly satisfied with what she saw, turned back to face Jack's grave.

"She really loves you, you know that Uncle Jack? You do, right?" She squeezed Sam's hand but did not turn to look at her. "Me too." She remained silent for some time after that and Sam was just about to speak again when Cassie continued.

"Yeah, James… I was happy, Jack. I was content with my life as it was. Single and unfettered, working hard. A little like Sam, huh?" she said with a small giggle. "I guess the other reason I never committed to anyone before was because I never met the right guy. Sounds corny, I know, and you hate cliches, but the thing about cliches is they exist for a reason - because they're truisms. I couldn't help myself with James and, honestly, I didn't really want to."

'When you fall, you fall,' Sam thought, echoing her earlier ruminations but saying nothing. She had no wish to interrupt again, not unless Cassie pulled her in.

"Now you're not around to see it, which is a pain in the ass, but I think I could be content with him now. Not sure I'll ever be happy without him actually. Love. It really is all it's cracked up to be, isn't it?

"We're going to get married. I so wanted you to be there, to give me away if I'm honest. I guess I'm going to have to ask Daniel now. I suppose we could have got married on 'The O'Neill'. Captains can do that can't they? Only one problem – he is the captain!

"Oh, Jack, I wish you could meet him. He's so handsome, in a rugged kind of way. Salt and paper hair at the moment, but when he goes grey he is so gonna be hot, like you. Actually, he reminds me a little bit of you. Well respected by his crew. A great leader. A wicked sense of humor. Tall and gorgeous. Deadly and ruthless. Caring and loving. Generous. Pretends he's totally pragmatic but is secretly romantic at heart. Cute butt. You know the type. Hard shell outside but with a soft center. Sound familiar?

"I guess what they say about a woman marrying a man like her father is true. Though my biological dad was nothing like you. I suppose that means it isn't really a genetic thing, more what you know and what you like. I always loved you Jack. Unfortunately, you loved Sam."

She laughed at that and Sam joined in. It sure beat crying, she thought, pleased that Cassie was inserting a bit of humor into her farewell tribute. Cassie had already told her all this news and Sam was delighted she had met a special someone at last. She'd had lots of men in her life, sure, but never settled.

Sam was looking forward to meeting her dashing Captain. Cassie was obviously nuts about him, as giddy as a young girl, and Sam wanted to see for herself, of course. She would probably try looking at him through Jack's eyes too. Make sure he really was good enough for their girl. Not that she had any say in the matter of Cassie's marriage but there was no harm in checking him out as both mom and dad.

"Only kidding!" Cassie exclaimed. "I never loved you like that! What do you take me for? Well, maybe a small schoolgirl crush once upon a time, but I always believed you and Sam belonged together and I was right, wasn't I?" She paused briefly as if waiting for him to respond.

"James is… well he's one of the good guys, one of the best, like you. So, we'll get married and go off exploring far flung galaxies together on 'The O'Neill'. Almost sounds romantic, doesn't it? I know I've left it a little bit late in life, but I figure if you and Sam could do it, so can we. I never thought this would happen. It's… kind of nice."

Sam thought that might be the understatement of the decade but said nothing. Cassie was right. It did sound romantic. Exploring new worlds with someone you love and admire. She almost envied her. Cassie had found that special man to share the rest of her life with whereas Sam had only recently lost hers. But she had lived her lifetime whereas Cassie still had many more years to come, so she did not resent her happiness. In fact, she hoped Cassie would be as happy with her Captain as she had been with her General.

Cassie fell silent again for a while after that, and turned toward Sam for a proper hug. Sam obliged. After long moments, Cassie withdrew from the embrace, twisting to face Jack once more and taking Sam by the hand instead.

"I'm not sure what else to say to you, Uncle Jack." She placed an emphasis on the word Uncle and grinned. "You already knew I always loved you dearly and I regret not being here to say goodbye. But I also know you would never have resented my absence. You would have been cheering me on in my work and the mission. You always fought for life, your own and other people's. You wished for all of us to live how we wanted, within reason of course. None of that snaky, godlike tyranny stuff. Pompous, over the top, overdressed bad guys!" She tittered to herself and heard Sam snort with amusement along with her, but Cassie did not turn away from the grave.

"Actually, you tended to hate bad guys altogether, pompous, over the top and overdressed or not. You valued freedom and self-determination. I know there were times in your life where you did things you weren't sure of. Things you thought might be bad. You could be ruthless and determined, but you always had the right motives. Or that's the way I see it. You sometimes said you'd rot in hell, but I'm betting you're standing at God's right hand. That's where you deserve to be if you believe in such things.

"Huh! Listen to me prattle on. You'd probably give me a good talking to if you were here. Stop whining and get on with your life, Cass. Well, I will get on with my life, I promise you that. But you were one of the most important and influential people in my life so give me a break and let me say goodbye in my own way, okay. That's about it, though. I think I've said my piece. If I think of more, I can say it anytime. I don't need to be kneeling here to say it. I love you Jack. Always."

Now, she turned to Sam to indicate she had finished. Sam nodded in recognition and laid her own bouquet on the grave. Sniffling slightly she spoke only a few words to her husband.

"For you, Jack. I'll always love you too, but you already know that. Take care, honey, until next time we talk."

She moved to get up and Cassie expressed surprise. "Is that all you're going to say?"

"It's all I need to say. Jack and I, well, we talk a lot." She grinned and Cassie smiled back.

"Okay. Home?"

"Yeahsureyabetchya."

The pair smirked knowingly and got up to leave, walking the path they had taken to get there and not looking back.

"Want to play chess when we get home?" Sam asked along the way.

"Yeahsureyabetchya, Sam," Cassie said with a wink.

Remembering the horses, she thought a chess match might be fitting tribute to Jack. Very fitting indeed.

TBC

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2008 Su Freund


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter summary: "Teal'c vaguely wondered if anything could change between them now O'Neill was gone and Samantha was free."

Author's notes:

1. I realize this chapter has been a long time coming and I apologize for the lengthy delay. My muse refused to cooperate with this story and wanted me to be writing other things! Sometimes it goes that way. If you are still reading after all this time, I hope you enjoy it!

2. Many thanks to ImmerRDA for beta reading this story and pointing out the errors of my ways! Her comments and advice are always invaluable. Any remaining errors or inconsistencies, however, are entirely mine.

**Enduring Time Chapter 18**

As the afternoon wore on, the lake grew increasingly tranquil. Sam and Teal'c mutely watched while fishermen drew in their nets and slowly made their way to shore. One of the boats came close to where they were sitting and Teal'c exchanged a few friendly words with his fellow Jaffa, introducing his companion.

Then, as the activity abated, birds skimmed though the air, landing on the surface to do their own version of fishing. They bobbed up and down on the cool blue water, craning their necks and diving under the small ripples to rise triumphantly with their catch before becoming airborne once more and smoothly gliding landward.

For a while, it seemed like no other creature inhabited this planet, nothing except Sam, Teal'c and her ever present escort watching the world go by and its sun move slowly through the bright blue sky toward evening. Serenity and harmony were written on the beautiful landscape surrounding them.

From time to time, however, the odd animal made its way to the shore to drink its fill, disturbing their peace while also enriching it. It seemed that deer-like creatures and many manner of beings akin to Earth's rich tapestry of life inhabited this place. A couple of critters resembling chipmunks cheekily approached them, apparently seeking attention or perhaps scraps from their picnic but finding none. Sam smiled with amusement while she watched their little waggling backsides as they skipped off into the lakeside's undergrowth again.

Occasionally, she might ask Teal'c about the wildlife and he would respond, seemingly content with this restful quiescence, and then they would lapse into silence again. In the late afternoon, in the distance they spied a group of children and young Jaffa approaching the lake to swim and frolic in its watery depths. Teal'c explained this was a regular occurrence once the youngsters had completed their day's lessons or training.

Apart from this, Sam and Teal'c had exchanged few words since she'd discovered his secret – their secret. They weren't necessarily uneasy with each other, merely contemplative and silently companionable. Or Sam hoped this was what Teal'c felt, although she wondered how turbulent his hidden thoughts might be.

She had to admit the revelation of their relationship as lovers during those lost years on The Odyssey was increasingly becoming cause for concern. Sam had many qualms about her faithlessness to her husband and hurting Teal'c, slightly anxious despite the peaceful surroundings and their promises of continuing friendship. She was uncertain about that amity with her old friend – how they now stood and where they would go from here.

Although she might not have too many years of her life left, it unsettled her to think about how this newfound truth might impact on their friendship for the time that remained. Yes, Teal'c had revealed much for her to consider. Her mind had wandered this way and that, away from those contemplations of a lost relationship, but she kept coming back to it. This was only natural and right.

"I was just thinking about Cassie," Sam turned and said to Teal'c, trying to get her mind off her worries about their friendship as well as strike up a conversation.

A small smile appeared on his features as he looked at her. "She has returned. She is well?" he asked.

"I should have mentioned it before. She's back for now. Upset about Jack, but she'll be okay."

He appeared to think about that for a few moments before responding. "O'Neill was as a father to her. It is natural to mourn his loss."

"I think she was pissed he didn't wait until she got back," Sam replied with a small grin.

Teal'c chuckled. "What temerity," he responded humorously and Sam chuckled too.

"She came and stayed with me for a few days. We held our own private memorial. She was pleased with what we decided to say on his gravestone."

"I imagine Daniel Jackson was gratified." Teal'c knew the pair of them had spent quite some time discussing and deciding on the most appropriate words to use.

"Yeah, he was. Daniel and Vala came for a couple of days while she was at the cabin too."

"I regret that I did not see her."

"You still can. You could come to Earth before she goes off on her travels again. She's getting married. She'd want you to be there."

"Cassandra Fraiser is to wed? Good news indeed." He smiled more broadly now. "And who is the lucky groom?"

"The Captain of 'The O'Neill.' They'll be exploring the universe together. Cool, huh?"

"Indeed. You have met him?"

"Yes. He's a good man, handsome too. I like him. He reminds me of Jack."

"Then she has chosen well."

"I think so too. Come to the wedding and meet him for yourself. Come whenever you like, actually. You'll always be welcome."

"I would like that, but…" he trailed off, tearing away from her gaze and turning away as if looking at the lake again.

"I knew it! You do feel awkward with me now don't you?"

He thought about his words before replying. "A little perturbed perhaps."

Sam sighed. "You regret that I know about us." Teal'c did not respond and she took that to be agreement. "You said you want us to stay friends."

Teal'c turned his eyes back toward her again, meeting her eyes. "It is… difficult." He could see regret and sorrow in her eyes. "Easier said than done as you Tauri might say."

"Since when has life been easy for any of us, Teal'c?" she countered with a wry smile and he shrugged. "Do you remember when you came to say goodbye before I went to Atlantis?"

"That was many years ago but how could I forget?" In fact, Teal'c had forgotten very little about such encounters with Samantha. They still meant a great deal to him.

"You told me Bra'tac once said 'Draw from your past…"

"But do not let your past draw from you'," he completed for her. "Indeed."

"Wise words." She hoped her reference would give him food for thought.

"A wise man."

"Yes."

"Truthfully, although we see each other infrequently I would miss you, Samantha, if I believed I would never see you again."

Tears formed in her eyes and she took hold of his hand, lifting it to her lips and kissing his palm. "Likewise, Teal'c. I value your friendship. That's why I'm here." Sam was thinking she couldn't lose Teal'c too. Not after Jack. It would be too much to bear.

He smiled, leaning over to peck her forehead. "Then I shall indeed come."

"Good. That's settled. Cassie will be pleased, and so shall I. We can have a happier reunion this time around. Daniel and Vala too. Like old times."

"It would give me great pleasure," he replied with a faint smile.

Sam regarded him thoughtfully for a while and then said, "We're too old for regrets, Teal'c."

"Are we not at an age where one tends to look back on life and regrets most of all?"

She grinned. "Good point."

"Nevertheless, our relationship is one of the things I can never regret, Samantha, no matter what."

"I wish I could remember."

"As do I."

Sam did not respond, fearful she might say the wrong thing, and they lapsed into silence again. However, she very much hoped they had reached a turning point in their current predicament, if one could call their present situation a predicament at all.

Contemplating how much longer she should impose her company on Teal'c, Sam felt a touch of apprehension. Leaving too soon might give him the wrong signals about their friendship but she did not wish to outstay her welcome either. Tricky. Something she'd have to sleep on.

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Later, out of the corner of his eye Teal'c noticed Sam shivering and made a unilateral decision to take her back to his warmer cabin. She did not demur. The bright afternoon was turning to evening and it was starting to get chilly. Besides, she was growing tired, which she blamed entirely on sitting on her butt for way too long. Doing nothing tends to take it out of a person whereas activity can be energizing.

Sam had been an energetic person for a lifetime and found getting older a pain. It could be restricting. Sure, she was as active as her body allowed, took long walks regularly for example, but ageing was a factor. Simply put, she was unable to be as active as she used to be and that was a fact.

'But at least you still have all your faculties Samantha,' she told herself. This was a blessing as she couldn't think of anything much worse than gradually unraveling inside her own mind and becoming the shell of the person she once was. Living on confused memories. Slowly going whacko, as Jack might have said.

They had both been lucky in that respect. No dementia, or at least so far. She was happy Jack had never had to suffer from it, and that she had never had to live with it and watch him decline. To have lost him that way would have been even more unbearable than the unexpectedness of his sudden passing. Now Sam considered it, she had much to be grateful for.

She had seen other people endure that fate with devastating consequences for both those afflicted with the disease and their families. One of the worst. Treatment had moved on a pace and she'd heard they were close to a cure now, but they'd been saying that for years.

Still, medical advances allowed people her age to be much younger in body, live longer. If she kept hold of her mind, Sam could be alive and kicking for many years to come. None of which meant her old bones and muscles could cope as well as she would like. She tired quicker and that was that.

Deep in thought, without her cognizance, as they returned to the cabin Sam fell behind Teal'c and Denis, ending up walking with Mike. He had been trying to mind his own business, really he had. He had not eavesdropped on Sam and Teal'c's conversation, only heard the vague rumbling of low voices, but Mike could not fail to notice the body language.

General Carter seemed distracted, he thought. "Are you all right ma'am?" he asked with a hint of concern.

She gasped with surprise at the interruption of her thoughts, but smiled at him in a friendly manner.

"I'm fine, Mike. Just a little tired. Sitting on your butt all afternoon fishing is just such hard work," she replied with tongue in cheek. Mike grinned at her tone, and the wink she added.

"Fish for your supper, I suppose?" he asked.

"Yeah. You and Denis must have some too."

Before they stopped fishing and became embroiled in personal matters, Sam and Teal'c caught half a dozen fish. Ugly critters, but Teal'c assured her they made good eating. They agreed once they got home, Teal'c would prepare the fish while she prepared the accompanying vegetables.

Most of the time, Jack would have thrown the fish back. For him, fishing was never about the fish but the act of fishing - the peaceful calm, the thinking and healing time. Occasionally, however, he would keep the fish and prepare and cook them for supper. Sam always made the salad or peeled the potatoes, whatever they chose to have with the fish. Gutting and preparing fish was not one of Sam's favorite pastimes and Jack was happy to do it.

Now, she looked forward to doing something similar with Teal'c. An act of togetherness, she thought. The familiarity was comforting.

"Oh no, ma'am," Mike replied. "We wouldn't dream of depriving you of your fish." He continued grinning while he spoke, in keeping with the lighthearted nature of their exchange.

Mike was growing increasingly fond of this woman. Although he had been star struck by meeting one of his heroes, this feeling was beginning to wear off and change into something quite different. She had a way with her, making him feel like an old friend rather than someone whose task it was to protect her. He liked that.

"Nonsense!" she chided. "There is more than enough to go around. I'd like for both of you to join us. I'm sure Teal'c would agree."

"In that case, ma'am, we'd be honored. How can I refuse a general's orders?"

She laughed. "Retired, airman."

"Yes ma'am."

"You know, I keep telling you to call me Sam but I kind of like ma'am. It reminds me of Jack. After we got together, he would use it as a pet name sometimes. That teasing glint in his eyes used to drive me crazy. In a good way, you understand. He had a knack of driving me nuts. I loved it. Unless he was driving me nuts of course…!"

He joined in with her chuckle. Mike thought he knew what she meant. The difference between bad nuts and good nuts.

"You miss him," Mike commented, uncertain what to say when she raised the specter of her deceased husband.

"Yeahsureyabetchya! I'd rather he was here now driving me nuts in that oh so irritating way he could have than not here at all." Mike thought she seemed in a joyful mood rather than sorrowful or maudlin, which was good. Then he noticed her goosebumps and removed his jacket.

"Here, ma'am, put this on," he offered and she smiled and accepted his loan but continued talking about Jack as if there had been no interruption.

"Sometimes I think if he could come back I'd kill him just for leaving me alone," she added. "I can be so pissed with him for having the audacity to leave me behind. We don't leave our people behind. That's still one of the unwritten rules of the SGC isn't it?" She glanced at Mike and he nodded agreement then they exchanged grins before she continued.

"We worked and lived side by side for so long that it's damned hard. But then, well, sometimes I'm just fine. Happy, content even. I guess I've grown used to the ups and downs of being a widow. It's a rollercoaster ride."

Mike figured it would be nice to find someone who could make you feel like that and wondered if he already had with Jayne. Maybe the general was right and he should do something about her when he got back. Would it hurt to try? He would regret it if he lost his chance.

"I guess I've been lucky I've never lost anyone that close to me," he responded thoughtfully.

"Unfortunately, that day comes to all of us in the end in one way or another. Once you get to my age, you've lost too many people. Especially in the kind of work I did. Parents, friends, lovers." She sighed regretfully. "For crying out loud, I didn't mean to sound so negative! I'm not going to let anything spoil my good mood. Not even that ornery bastard Jack O'Neill."

"No ma'am," he agreed with mild amusement to himself at her cursing her husband that way, and then they walked along without speaking for a while.

When she suddenly screeched with delight, Mike jumped, disconcerted for a moment.

"Oh my!" she exclaimed loudly, walking over to the side of the path more hastily than he had imagined her capable of. Denis and Teal'c drew to a halt and turned to look at what all the commotion was about. "What a beautiful flower!"

Sam bent down to examine it closer, sniffing to see if it had an individual fragrance. It did, reminding her of Lilly of the Valley, although it was totally dissimilar in every other respect. She had caught the color out of the corner of her eye, a lone blue in a sea of green, yellow and white. It seemed out of place.

The petals were the blue of cornflowers, a color she was partial to, but the flower's shape was unusual. It appeared almost hexagonal, not something she quite expected. The flowers she was familiar with were not usually angular.

On closer inspection, she realized the shape was an illusion from the way the petals formed. It was more familiar than she had imagined. Nevertheless, it was a lovely flower.

"What is it, Samantha?" Teal'c asked from behind her, making Sam start. She turned to face him.

"The flower," she replied, pointing in its direction. "It's pretty. It's a wild flower?"

Teal'c peered at the flower. "Ah! This flower does not usually grow in this place. An accident of the wind perhaps. Some of my brethren have been attempting to cultivate these locally because for their healing properties, but the soil is not good for them. They come from the mountains."

"Healing properties?" she asked curiously.

"The flower's petals may be dried, ground and mixed as a salve for sunburn or other skin ailments. Very cooling and most effective I am told."

Sam stood up, stretching to relieve kinks in her back. It seemed to stiffen too quickly these days. That was bothersome. One of the downsides of growing old, she guessed. One of many.

"Do we know about it?" she asked.

"The Tauri? There must surely be some secrets we Jaffa can keep to ourselves," he said, arching an eyebrow and smirking.

Sam cocked her head, smiled and then shrugged. "I'm not telling if you aren't." Teal'c nodded an acknowledgement. "Should we walk the rest of the way back together?" she asked, holding the crook of her arm toward him in the hope he would slide his into the vacant slot.

"Indeed we shall," he replied amiably, bowing slightly and linking up with her as she wanted.

Setting off again, they didn't speak but ambled amiably in silence. Instead, Sam contemplated Jack, wistfully regretting his absence and feeling a sharp pang of remorse that she had ever been unfaithful to the great love of her life. Although she realized he might have understood, even forgiven in the circumstances of her relationship with Teal'c, she couldn't help herself.

Sam had prided herself on the fact that, once they'd got together they had remained together. Truly as one, never straying or even wishing to. This myth she'd conjured around their marriage was just that, a myth. The fact saddened her. She had loved Jack so deeply. Thinking on it now, she was half glad she had no memory of that time spent with Teal'c. How could she have continued happily with Jack otherwise? To have known she'd cheated on Jack… it seemed unthinkable.

Yet it had happened. Admittedly, the circumstances were truly unique. And it was with Teal'c. He held a special place in her heart. They'd been close for so many years. It seemed unfair to him for her to regret.

Sighing inwardly to herself, Sam realized there was little point in feeling remorse about what might have been or what should never have been. Jack would kick her butt. They had promised each other not to regret, to look forward not back. Easy to say, however she would continue to do her best now just as she had while her husband was alive. Forward, not back. Damn it, she missed him!

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While gutting and preparing their catch, Teal'c allowed his thoughts to wander. He'd been trying hard to discipline his mind. Both to stop feeling discomforted about Samantha's newfound knowledge and suppress the feelings for her he knew he still held in his heart. The task was next to impossible with her as close by.

He couldn't help but wonder what she truly felt now she knew about them. Guilt, he imagined. Although she had tried to hide it during their relationship, he knew she had felt it. Now, similar feelings were inevitable. He felt it too. The sense that he'd betrayed his friend O'Neill. Teal'c had learned to live with it. He'd had years to do so after all, although recent events had stirred those feelings afresh. She, however, had newly learned of her complicity and her guilt must therefore be more acute.

Their relationship was an extra-marital affair no matter what their reasons and situation had been. In all truth, Teal'c found it hard to view it as an affair because it had never been that simple, nevertheless it was one. They had both attempted to avoid seeing it as such on the Odyssey, not always successfully. Facts are facts.

He yearned to know what impact Samantha's awareness had on her thoughts and feelings about him, their friendship, their future, if they had one. Teal'c didn't dare to examine the latter too closely. What he might still long for and what she might want were probably poles apart. He did not doubt that, did not want to give himself any false hope of the impossible.

Many years ago, he had settled for friendship and made himself happy with that. He had always known she truly belonged to another, that their relationship would never have happened back on Earth in real time.

Teal'c vaguely wondered if anything could change between them now O'Neill was gone and Samantha was free. The reflection bothered him. He didn't believe he should be thinking like that. Whatever, it was probably too soon after O'Neill's passing for Samantha to contemplate. In any event, the probability of romantic entanglement between them now seemed unlikely. They were too old, too burdened by their pasts.

When they had returned from the Odyssey and Samantha had gone back to her husband, O'Neill, for Teal'c it was as if she had died. He had mourned her loss. One of the most difficult things he had faced in his long life. He'd had no real notion of how bad it would be until it happened. Even though he had known it would come to pass and had, ostensibly, had been prepared for it. How did one ever truly prepare for such loss and heartache? They'd lived a lifetime together. Longer than many couples.

Teal'c contemplated whether those feelings had been something akin to how Samantha now felt about the loss of O'Neill. Torn asunder from the person you love so much and have loved for years - bleak and heartbreaking indeed. The notion made his heart ache for her even while it also ached for him.

Remonstrating with himself for his self pity, Teal'c tried to quash those feelings about him and focus on what Samantha must be feeling. It didn't help. He considered whether sending her back to Earth might be the best thing for both of them. It had been far easier to pretend when she had not been present. He had got on with life, managed his emotions. Distance and time weave a magic that is difficult to conjure when faced with stark reality.

As difficult as this situation was for them, the idea of Samantha returning to Earth only served to make him feel worse. In spite of his confusion, Teal'c relished her company. The fact remained that she was unlikely to stay however much he might wish for it. What is done is done and what will be will be. One should live the moment because, in the end, this is what life comprises. Moments stuck together. Good, bad and indifferent moments. It is what we have, he thought. It is all we have.

Glancing up from his task, he watched her preparing the vegetables and she must have felt his gaze because she glanced up at him too. Her small smile seemed wistful and regretful and Teal'c wished he knew exactly what lay behind that expression. Thoughts about O'Neill? Thoughts about them?

If he got up and approached her now, kissed her, how would she respond? Briefly, Teal'c considered trying and then dismissed the idea. Rejection would only serve to cause him pain and destroy what little they had. They would be even more ill at ease with each other and Samantha would probably return to Earth. He might never see her again. Teal'c truly did not wish for any of these outcomes. He wanted to make the most of what he had even if it wasn't as much as he might wish for.

"Are you okay, Teal'c?" she asked, reaching over the table that separated them and briefly squeezing his hand.

He forced himself to smile. "I am well, Samantha," he said and pulled his eyes away to finish preparing the fish. However, the exchange brought to mind another such moment on board the Odyssey and as he worked, Teal'c remembered.

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_Flashback to the Odyssey:_

Alone in their communal eating area, they sat at the table preparing the evening meal, their turn to do so. Just as now, the table separated them and they worked in silence. Pausing in his task, he glanced up at her and caught her eye.

"Are you okay, Teal'c?" she asked, reaching over and briefly squeezing his hand.

"I am well, Samantha," he replied with a small smile but she obviously detected something amiss. She knew him too well by then, he supposed.

"You seem… pensive. Far away."

"Are we not always thinking?" he countered, hoping to distract her from probing. He knew her well too. Knew she would ask about his thoughts. She had that habit. "Penny for them," she would sometimes say.

Sam eyed him speculatively. "What are you thinking?" she asked and, for a short time, he considered lying to her but quickly dismissed such a notion. Teal'c took no pleasure from being dishonest with the woman he loved.

"I was thinking about O'Neill," he confessed and she hitched a breath at the mention of that name, her eyes becoming sorrowful. Teal'c did not like the feelings this reaction provoked in him. He understood he was second best, that this relationship would not exist if her husband was present, but tried to contain such thoughts. They were fruitless and he wished to make the best of what they shared. Roll with the punches, O'Neill might have said.

"We would be better not to discuss it," Teal'c added before she had the chance to speak.

"Would we?" she queried, eyes boring into his as if she might discern his thoughts this way. It was disconcerting and he resigned himself to telling her because Samantha could be… persistent was not quite the word he would use to describe it. Sometimes he wondered if she really did read his mind. Certainly, she appeared to read his mood.

"Very well. I wonder what O'Neill is thinking and feeling right now?" he told her truthfully and she looked slightly pained by the thought.

"I often think about that myself. Actually, we don't really know how much time has passed out there, do we? But it's very little. He's probably sitting in the Pentagon staring at a whole pile of paperwork and bemoaning his fate." She smiled wryly at the notion.

"Or perhaps he is concerned about the fate of his wife," Teal'c responded with a hint of irritation.

She reached for his hand again but he pulled it away from her and Sam sighed ruefully. "He probably doesn't even know we're missing yet. It doesn't help either of us to think about such things, Teal'c."

"Then as I said, we would be better not discussing it."

"We can't hide from it all the time, though, can we?"

"Hide from the fact that we have betrayed him?"

He could see from her expression that his words hurt and Teal'c regretted them but he was not feeling comfortable about this conversation.

"Teal'c, we've been together for ten years," she retorted, clearly as frustrated by him as he was by her.

"Yet there is no denying it is there? You are married to him, he is my friend."

"You still think what we have done is wrong?"

"You do not?"

"I try not to but… it doesn't stop me feeling guilty sometimes, no," she admitted honestly. Obviously, their situation was wrong and on many levels. Sam knew that, but how could she fail to love this man who meant so much to her in this time and place? In which case, how could it also be so wrong? This was an unfathomable conundrum.

"Indeed," he agreed.

"Nor does it stop me loving you, Teal'c. I love both of you. We have found something good in the bleak reality of this place. I don't want to spoil that."

"Yet you persist in asking about my thoughts."

"That's part of what having a relationship with someone is all about, isn't it? We should be able to discuss it rather than bury it." Then Sam chuckled to herself. "I have to admit I'm conflicted about discussing it, or even thinking it," she said with a sardonic look. "But don't do a Jack on me."

The comment made him chuckle too, which eased the tension between them. "Or a Samantha Carter," he quipped in return.

She grinned and finally his hand was forthcoming in joining with hers. "Ironically, my relationship with Jack kind of started killing off that version of me. The uptight, bottling things up version."

"You have not changed that much, Samantha."

"Haven't I? Oh." She seemed disappointed, perhaps perturbed.

He stared at her for a moment, his deep and abiding affection overriding all other concerns, and smiled briefly. "Yet I would change nothing."

"Despite everything? Guilt? Jack?"

"To do so would be to deny my feelings for you, Samantha," he said. It was a preposterous notion in their present circumstances.

"Can't have that then, can we?"

She smiled faintly and got up, moving around the table and bending down to kiss the gold tattoo on his forehead. Teal'c pulled her onto his knee and kissed her on the lips, deepening the kiss with a suddenly felt passion.

"Oh my!" Sam exclaimed when their lips parted. "Wanna come back to my place, big guy?" she asked with a smirk.

He grunted amusement finding the idea of taking a private, intimate moment with his lover appealing. Making love to her might rid him of his sour mood and would most certainly quash their awkward conversation.

"But we have resolved nothing," he said in a quietly sad tone.

"There's nothing to resolve, Teal'c. We are where we are and what we are. We can never resolve it so let's make the most of it."

"An irresistible philosophy," he replied with a smile. "But we are still required to prepare the food."

"Mmmm… maybe just for today, dinner can be a little bit late."

His smiled broadened. That evening, their meal was very late indeed.

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_The present: _

"Teal'c, where did you just go? Penny for them," she urged now, bringing Teal'c back to reality. He nearly laughed out loud at the irony but managed to convert the inclination into a small smile.

"Back on the Odyssey," he admitted.

Sam regarded him curiously. "A moment between us?" He nodded in response and she appeared to think about that for a while. "A good moment?" she asked, wondering what their relationship had really been like.

It was hard to envisage but he had told her they had been happy. She had made him happy. Sam pondered how she had dealt with the guilt, with thoughts of her husband. The speculation was futile. She would never know for sure, no matter what Teal'c might or might not reveal to her. It was probably unfair to press him about their time together. She had to remind herself how hard all this must have been for him, must still be now he knew she knew.

"Mostly good," he replied because, regardless of the brief conversion that evening, it had been. The implication that there were not so good parts disturbed her but Sam realized it was foolish to believe it could have been otherwise.

She stared at him speculatively for a short while, which Teal'c found disturbing although he steadfastly held her gaze.

"What would you say if I asked you to make love to me now?" she asked boldly. Probably another unfair question but the impulse to ask it was irresistible. Sam wasn't certain where the urge had come from. Perhaps a demon. As soon as she'd asked, she regretted it, but it was too late to take it back.

The question shocked him, though his heart skipped an excited beat. "Is that what you want?" he asked cautiously.

"I don't know," she replied, knowing from the brief hint in his expression that her question had shaken him.

"Neither do I," he responded and it was only partly a lie. He was not yet certain if it would be the right thing to do even though he longed to hold her in his arms. To Teal'c the question seemed unfair but he tried not to show it. Surely, she couldn't be teasing him. Samantha would not be so cruel.

"Then we've both still got some thinking to do, it seems."

"Indeed."

Teal'c didn't know what to think. He was more confused and perturbed than ever. So it was a relief when the two SGC bodyguards knocked on his cabin door to ask if they could help with anything before dinner. Once again, it put off facing the whole thorny predicament and their company and amusing conversation did much to distract both of them.

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Unable to sleep, Teal'c was restless. He had been thinking about Samantha and what she'd asked him earlier, trying to work out what might be going through her head. It was still dark outside with long hours to go before dawn and he was considering getting up and going out for a walk. Maybe that would relax him, let him sleep.

When his door quietly opened Teal'c jerked up, stunned to see Samantha standing there, her still beautiful features dancing in candlelight.

"Samantha? Is something wrong?" he asked and she moved closer, perching in the side of his bed.

"I can't sleep," she said and he did not respond, merely staring at her dumbly. "I could do with a hug."

Now she was closer, he could see in the flickering light that her eyes were swollen and red. She had been crying. His first reaction was a yearning to reach out and pull her to him, to hold her, but he didn't move. Confusion held him in its sway.

"I-I should never have asked you… Teal'c. I'm sorry I asked…" she stammered and he understood what she was referring to; her earlier question about making love.

"It was an unreasonable question," she said finally.

"Indeed," he agreed with an expression as unreadable as it ever had been.

"Insensitive. Hateful," she continued. "I didn't mean to be. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry."

"This is what has kept you awake?" he asked and she nodded. That plus guilt and sorrow about Jack, she thought but didn't voice. So not the right time.

"I don't want you to think…" She sighed. "I don't know what to say."

"I understand," he said, not sure he really did but saying it anyway.

"No you don't. How can you? I don't," she replied. "I shouldn't have come. I should have waited until tomorrow." She got up and started to move back toward the door.

"But you could not sleep," he stated.

"No," she agreed turning back to face him.

"As you perceived, neither could I."

"I wondered if you might be in the same boat. I'm sorry if it's something to do with me. I didn't want to hurt you but I know I did. I'll go now."

"Come, Samantha, sit," he responded, patting the edge of his bed where she had previously been sitting. Nodding briefly in agreement, she walked back and sat down again.

"I do not believe you would try to hurt me deliberately," he said. "We are friends, are we not?"

"Always, Teal'c," she replied with a hint of a smile.

"Sometimes we hurt our friends even if we do not intend to."

"I wasn't thinking. It kind of slipped out."

"Think no more about it, Samantha."

Grunting she said, "I can't help myself."

Teal'c stared at her broodingly for a few moments. "You referred to the need for a hug," he said knowing that as a friend it was something he would do just as he had many times in the past. Perhaps he should not let their current peculiar circumstances stop him from giving her what she required. If she had been unaware of their shared past, he would not have hesitated.

"I'll be fine."

"Perhaps I also require a hug, Samantha Carter," he declared. "What else are old friends for?"

Sam grinned. "Just a hug, Teal'c. That's all right with you?" she whispered and he smiled, bobbing his head in a slight bow that sealed their deal.

Pulling her feet up off the floor, she maneuvered herself along the bed toward him and snuggled into the crook of his burly arm. The covers of the bed firmly remained between them. A deliberate barrier that reminded them this was a gesture of long valued friendship and nothing more.

It was a soothing act of companionship and neither of them spoke although they were both thinking a lot.

Sam pondered the future and the questions she had no answers for. What was in store for her with no Jack in her life anymore? What about Teal'c? Did he fit into her destiny somewhere? Now was probably not the time to contemplate such things. Her husband's loss was still too raw and new for her to have any real idea what she wanted. She might never be ready to move on, might never wish to.

Teal'c reflected on both the past and future, wondering if the day's events meant anything for the pair of them at some point yet to come. But as he stroked her back, he allowed himself to let go of all that and find peace in the situation. Tomorrow was a different day. For now, as Samantha had urged many years before, he would make the most of it.

Both were thinking the company of good friends was a wondrous thing – and first and foremost, they were very good friends indeed.

TBC

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. Copyright © 2009 Su Freund


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